Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Man Lying on Carton near Walmart in the Christmas Cold Is Ignored by Many, Young Boy Takes Pity — Story of the Day
A 7-year-old boy brings a miracle to the life of a homeless man on Christmas Eve through his act of kindness.
Christmas is a sad season and meant only for the rich. The phrase came to Cameron in an instant after the crowd’s murmur jolted him awake and named him for the amorphous depression that had plagued him all evening.
It was snowing once again. The sky was still dark, and people were pouring in and out of the Walmart store where he was lying on a carton, cuddled up in an almost torn blanket and a black jacket, which he hadn’t changed in a long while.
Of all the millions of people in Florida, he was practically the only one who had decided to sleep early on Christmas Eve to avoid the constant pain he was feeling — partially due to betrayal he’d experienced and partially due to the bruises that had covered almost every inch of his face.
Cameron was begging outside a Walmart store | Photo: Shutterstock
Cameron was a wealthy pharmaceutical manufacturer in Texas, and he and his friend cum business partner Nicholas had been on their way to Florida for a business deal a few days ago. Little did Cameron know it was all a dirty ruse to get him out of the way, and he’d be in a terrible state one day.
The evening all this happened had started like any other. Nicholas had come to Cameron’s house to discuss the plan. They had agreed to meet someone on the outskirts of Florida who would lead them to the city’s central plant, where the pharmaceuticals they were interested in producing were manufactured.
As Cameron and Nicholas approached the plant’s outskirts, a man in his 30s approached Nicholas and asked him to exit their car alone. Nicholas told Cameron to stay inside.
Nicholas and the strange man stood at a distance from the car, talking about something, occasionally looking at Cameron and pointing to the building where they’d arrived. They soon walked away, with Nicholas motioning to Cameron that he’d be back shortly.
What are they even discussing? Why on earth would that man want to talk to Nicholas alone? Cameron’s mind raced with the most bizarre suspicions at their sight.
Cameron froze in shock when he answered Nicholas’ phone | Photo: Pexels
Suddenly, Nicholas’ phone, which he’d forgotten in the car, rang, and a shock ran through Cameron. The wallpaper on the phone was a picture of Nicholas and Cameron’s wife Linda kissing, and the contact that flashed across the screen was named “love.”
Is it possible this could be Linda? Should I pick up the call? Cameron was baffled.
Nevertheless, he answered it, and his suspicions were confirmed. “Hi honey, did you reach safely? Did you manage to get rid of that idiot Cameron?” the voice asked.
Cameron recognized it was Linda. It was her voice. And the deal that Nicholas had organized wasn’t a pharmaceutical one. It was all a plan to get rid of him, and Cameron realized it late.
He immediately got out of the car and began looking for a way out, but two men dressed all in black stood in his way. Nicholas and the strange man soon appeared from behind them, Nicholas smirking. “I’m sorry, Cameron. I didn’t have a choice. I’m hoping you’ll forgive me.”
Cameron was attacked and dumped on the outskirts of Florida by Nicholas | Photo: Pexels
That was all Cameron remembered when he opened his eyes one day and found himself in an underground tunnel in the outskirts of Florida. His wallet, phone, and money were all gone, and one side of his face was covered in dried blood.
It had probably been days since he’d been left alone there in the tunnel. Perhaps he’d been attacked on his head, hence, the blood, he reasoned.
He slowly left the area and climbed up, his head still throbbing from the pain, until he reached a highway where all he encountered were large spreads of crops and an eerie dead silence.
Fortunately, he soon encountered a kind truck driver who was on his way to the city to sell some of his produce and offered to give him a free ride to town as well as the old blanket he’d been using to keep warm.
Cameron somehow reached the city that day, but he didn’t know what to do after that. He was very weak and tired and barely made it to the nearest Walmart store. His stomach was grumbling with hunger, and he felt light-headed as if he would collapse.
Cameron was weak and tired | Photo: Pexels
At this point, Christmas was just a day away. Cameron had clenched his fists around his stomach, attempting to quiet its growling and alleviate the pain he was feeling. He couldn’t remember when he’d last eaten, but it had been several days because he was tired and exhausted.
Considering it was Christmas and a kind soul would help him out, Cameron opened his overcoat and folded it several times to make a bowl-like container out of it. He wrapped himself with the old blanket he had and sat there begging for food.
“Excuse me, ma’am. Can you please get me a loaf of bread?” he asked a woman who’d just come out of the Walmart store. She didn’t offer him anything; instead, she sneered at him for being homeless and then walked away.
The second person that walked past Cameron gave him a judgmental look, and a few others pulled their kids away, labeling Cameron as a “homeless freak,” advising them to stay away from him.
Poor Cameron’s eyes welled up. He lowered his head and tucked it in the circle of his hands, and started crying. Suddenly, a squeaky voice of a child interrupted him. “Please take this before my mommy finds out!” the child said.
A little boy came to Cameron’s rescue | Photo: Pexels
Cameron slowly lifted his head to see a boy of about 7 standing in front of him, holding a box of chocolates. “It’s Christmas, and everyone enjoys chocolate on Christmas. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do,” he said with a smile.
Cameron couldn’t stop crying at the boy’s sight. “Thank you very much, young man! You have no idea how much you’ve helped me!” He sobbed as he accepted the box.
“I have to leave now. Otherwise, mommy will scold me. Bye!” the boy said, preparing to leave, but as he turned around, he saw his mother standing behind him, her hands on her waist, giving him a stern look.
“How many times have I told you, Tom, not to leave my sight? There are so many people here, honey! You could get lost!”
“But mom!” Tom cried. “I was telling you something, but you weren’t listening to me!”
Tom offered chocolates to Cameron | Photo: Pexels
“Didn’t I buy the chocolates for you, Tom? What else do you want? Honey, you should know that I work very hard to support you. I already bought you your favorite toy car and chocolates.”
“No, mom!” Tom said. “It’s not about me. When we were coming to the store, I saw nobody was helping him, mom. So I bought the chocolates for him!” Tom pointed at Cameron, who was holding the chocolate box in his hands and looking intently at Tom and his mother, Jade.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know the boy troubled you for this. You can take it back,” Cameron said, returning the box, but Jade refused and instead offered him help.
“You look sick. You have so many injuries on your face. You can come with us, and we can get you checked,” she suggested.
“Thank you!” Cameron cried. “That’d be really sweet of you! But…Can you please lend me your phone…I – I need to…” Cameron had just started speaking when he felt disoriented, and grabbed his head, crying in pain. Looking at his condition, Jade drove him to the hospital, where the doctors informed her that Cameron would need to stay for a while due to a head injury that required treatment.
Cameron was unconscious, and Jade decided not to leave the man alone. She and her son stayed with Cameron that night in the hospital.
Jade offered to help Cameron | Photo: Unsplash
When Cameron awoke the next morning, he told his entire story to Jade, and with her help, he reported the incident to the police.
Jade visited him every day and looked after him while the cops were investigating his case. When Cameron was finally released from the hospital, Jade took him home and allowed him to stay with him as long as he wanted.
Cameron discovered that Jade was a single mother who had divorced her abusive husband. As they spent more time together, Cameron felt himself growing closer to Jade, and the two eventually fell in love. Cameron proposed to her, and the woman nodded a yes. However, Cameron requested that they marry after he had reclaimed what was rightfully his. Cameron took off to Texas to settle his case after Jade agreed.
However, when he arrived, he discovered that his company was on the verge of going bankrupt, and Nicholas and Linda had run away after squandering all of the money.
Cameron had to stay in Texas until the case was settled. It took a few months, but Linda and Nicholas were eventually found. They had been hiding in a remote area of Texas. Cameron filed for divorce from Linda as soon as the cops caught her. Wrapping up everything took another two months, but Cameron was glad his wife and his best friend paid for their sins.
Jade and Cameron lived happily ever after | Photo: Pexels
Cameron flew back to Florida, relieved that his ex-wife and friend had paid for their actions. He and Jade got married at a church and welcomed a baby girl soon after.
Cameron began a new life with Tom, Jade, and their little baby girl Angela, forgetting the ridiculous past and moving on with his life.
What can we learn from this story?
- One act of kindness can make a huge difference in someone’s life. Cameron’s life was transformed from a miserable one to a happy one, thanks to little Tom’s kindness of offering him chocolates on Christmas Eve.
- Learn to be helpful and kind. Little Tom helped Cameron without expecting anything in return, and that single act changed Cameron’s life forever.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about an old millionaire who leaves behind a gigantic $5.3 million mansion after his death, but there’s a twist: neither his wife nor his daughter inherits it.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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