In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
People Tell Me My Son Should Be Taken From Me After Covering 95% of My Body in Ink
With tattoos becoming increasingly popular, it is not uncommon to come across individuals who have extensive body art. Unfortunately, some people face criticism and even calls for their children to be taken from them. One such case is that of a Canadian man named Remy who has spent over $100,000 on tattoos and has encountered criticism on social media, with some people telling him he’s not a suitable father.
He doesn’t feel guilty about being a tattooed dad.
Despite his extensive amount of ink, Remy doesn’t feel guilty about his tattoos, nor does he believe they’ve changed who he is as a person or a father. He says, “Tattoos and piercings haven’t changed at all, so I wasn’t worried that my son would see me differently.”
But the man has been criticized for not being a stereotypical father.
Remy shared that he has received online comments suggesting that his son should be taken away from him due to his appearance. He stated, “I’ve had a few people say things like my son should be taken from me because of how I look, but this is only ever online.”
He continued, “My argument to that would be that if you think that way, you should never have children yourself.”
Remy added that while people stare at him in public, they only say nice things and ask questions about his tattoos. “People stare a bit [in public] but they only say nice things and ask how long it took, how I handle the pain, and generally compliment my work,” he attests.
His child is nonchalant toward his father’s tattoos.
Remy’s first tattoo was of his son’s name, but since then, he has become obsessed with getting more and more ink. His son never really noticed his tattoos.
“He’s never really noticed them, as I was already pretty different looking [when he was born in 2009] — it’s completely normal for him. As he’s gotten older, he’s become very nonchalant, and it’s actually made him more tolerant of people being different looking, I believe,” Remy says.
In fact, Remy’s son’s favorite tattoo is the eye on his stomach and chest.
Being a good parent has nothing to do with superficial looks.
While some may argue that Remy’s tattoos make him an unfit parent, it’s important to remember that body modification is a personal choice and doesn’t necessarily reflect one’s ability to be a good parent. As long as a parent is providing a safe and loving environment for their child, their appearance should not be a factor in determining their ability to care for their children.
One of Remy’s fans explained things in a wonderful way.
As one commenter on Remy’s story put it, “You give the cloth and care about what you do. As long as you can put a roof over your child’s head, it’s not anyone’s job.” Ultimately, it’s up to each individual to decide how they want to present themselves to the world, and that decision should not be used to judge their worth as a parent.
As we conclude this story of unfair judgment and inked journeys, it’s only the beginning of our exploration into the world of those living tattooed lives. In our next article, we’ll introduce you to a mom whose 800 tattoos have become a barrier to employment, shedding light on the surprising consequences of living life fully inked.
Preview photo credit ephemeral_remy / Instagram, ephemeral_remy / Instagram
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