These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
My Wife’s Daughters Demanded I Fund Their Weddings — I Taught Them a Lesson in Family Values
Jack always believed that love transcended monetary value, yet his daughters seemed fixated solely on finances. When they insisted he cover their wedding expenses, his heart sank. Determined to instill a deeper understanding of family and respect, Jack decided it was time they learned a valuable lesson.
Hey everyone, Jack here, age 55. Let’s cut to the chase: what’s more important, love or money? You’d probably say love, right? Unfortunately, that’s where my story turns bittersweet. My daughters, well, they opted for MONEY…
About fifteen years ago, my wonderful wife Mary ended things with her unfaithful ex. We’ve been blissfully married for a decade, and she brought along three incredible daughters from her previous marriage. I embraced them wholeheartedly from the start.
Lily, the oldest, bonded with me quite quickly. We weren’t exactly two peas in a pod, but she’s always shown kindness and been there for us, particularly during tough times.
As for Sandra and Amelia? It was a different story. I did my utmost, truly. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, they viewed me through the lens of their biological father—judging me by my income, the car I drove, and even my appearance.
Their coldness was evident, but I didn’t let it deter me. I supported them through college, provided for their needs, and fulfilled my role as a father, hoping my efforts would eventually warm their hearts.
Interaction was limited, primarily during holidays. But then, out of the blue, both called me, almost simultaneously. Here’s how it went down:
“Jack,” they began eagerly, “we’ve decided on a double wedding! And, well…”
I could almost hear the dollar signs in their tone.
“And?” I prodded, my stomach knotting in anticipation.
“We want you to pay for them,” they stated matter-of-factly, as if it were the most natural request in the world.
My teeth clenched so tightly, I thought I might crack a molar. Finance their weddings? The audacity!
Understand, the issue wasn’t the money. I’ve always seen them as my daughters, regardless of their feelings towards me. But their entitled demeanor? That cut deep.
“Why should I?” I asked, struggling to keep my composure.
“Well,” Sandra retorted, “you paid for Lily’s, didn’t you?”
Lily’s wedding was a different scenario altogether. She had never demanded anything; she hadn’t approached me with expectations. But when she needed help, I was there, ready to support her with a smile.
These two, however, had consistently compared me unfavorably to their biological father and criticized my efforts. Yes, their indifference hurt, but it never stopped me from loving them as my own. Still, I wasn’t just an ATM.
“What about your father?” I queried, clinging to a sliver of hope for some reasonableness.
“He says it’s too pricey for him,” Amelia replied with a tinge of entitlement. “So, since you’re better off, it falls to you, right?”
I was tempted to lash out, to spell out just how disrespectful and entitled they were behaving. But then, a spark of an idea hit me. Perhaps this was an opportunity to teach them something crucial about love, respect, and the true essence of family.
“Alright,” I said calmly, “let’s discuss this face-to-face. Come over tomorrow night, and we’ll talk it over.”
Their agreement was swift, tinged with excitement. They thought they had me cornered, but little did they know, I was about to turn the tables.
The following night, as the doorbell rang, I opened the door to find Sandra and Amelia laden with shopping bags, takeaway peeking out from the top.
“Hey, Jack!” Sandra greeted with a contrived smile. “Brought dinner—Thai, your favorite.”
Amelia corrected her, “It’s Pad Thai, not just Thai.”
I ushered them in, maintaining a neutral expression. “Welcome. But before we eat, we need to address this wedding situation.”
We settled into the living room, the food momentarily forgotten. I took a deep breath and laid out my thoughts.
“I’ve supported both of you through college, yet I’ve often felt underappreciated. Now, you expect me to finance your weddings. Why do you think that’s fair?”
An uncomfortable silence followed. Sandra and Amelia exchanged looks, having a silent conversation.
“Well,” Sandra finally said, “you helped with Lily’s wedding. It’s only fair you do the same for us, right?”
“Fairness has nothing to do with it,” I replied. “Lily has always been respectful and grateful. She never assumed I would just provide. You two, on the other hand, have done nothing but compare me to your father and others, never once treating me as part of the family or even calling me ‘dad.’”
“But we are family,” Amelia interjected, her voice defiant. “You’re supposed to do things for family, right?”
“Family, is it?” I mused, the word bitter on my tongue. “It seems we have different understandings of what that word means. More like strangers under one roof, isn’t it? But since you’re playing the family card, let’s see what that really entails. How about a challenge?”
A mischievous grin spread across my face as I leaned forward. “Here’s the deal. I’ll help with your weddings, but there’s a condition.”
I paused for effect.
“For the next three months, I want you both to live here, contribute around the house, and show me some genuine respect—no comparisons, no negativity, just real effort. If after three months, I see a real change, then the wedding funds are yours. If not, you’ll need to rethink your plans.”
The shock on their faces was palpable. Three months? Living here? This was not what they expected.
“Three months?” Amelia stammered. “But we have plans, jobs, apartments…”
“Those plans can wait,” I said firmly. “This is my offer. Take it or leave it.”
They exchanged a hesitant look, clearly not thrilled with the idea but tempted by the promise of funded weddings.
“Alright,” Sandra finally conceded, “three months. But we’re not doing dishes.”
I chuckled. “Dishes are part of the deal. But think of it this way—at least you’ll have a roof over your heads and some decent meals.”
What followed were weeks of adjustment. Sandra and Amelia were hardly skilled in household chores, and their complaints about daily tasks became a regular occurrence. They also couldn’t resist making passive-aggressive remarks about my taste in home décor.
However, as time passed, a transformation began. They saw the effort I put into maintaining our home, the care I showed in preparing meals, and the dedication I had towards their mother and them, even when it wasn’t reciprocated. They began to help out with chores, initially reluctantly, but with increasing participation. Family dinners, once awkward, became more natural, and conversation flowed more freely.
They started to understand the sacrifices I made, the extra hours I worked to ensure they could live comfortably. Gradually, the walls they had built began to crumble.
By the end of the three months, their attitudes had changed. They no longer viewed me as just an outsider, but as a true part of their family. I saw how they had grown from entitled young women into thoughtful, kind individuals.
One evening, as we gathered around the dinner table, Sandra spoke up, her voice soft.
“Jack,” she began, “these past months have been eye-opening. We’re really sorry for how we’ve treated you. The truth is, our fiancés are pitching in for the wedding, and we’ll be using some of our savings as well.”
“But that’s not all,” Amelia added. “We… we really want you to walk us down the aisle. Our dad was hardly around after the divorce, but you… you’ve always been there. You paid for our education, for Lily’s wedding, and you’ve always stepped up.”
“We’re sorry for not seeing you for who you truly are. We missed out on having a real dad, and realizing that now is painful,” Sandra added, her eyes moist.
Emotions swirled within me as I listened to their heartfelt apologies. They acknowledged my role in their lives, something I hadn’t dared hope for.
“Thank you,” I managed, my voice thick with emotion. “I’d be honored to walk you down the aisle.”
As the wedding day approached, I fulfilled my promise and contributed to their celebrations. But the true gift wasn’t financial—it was the newfound respect and love that had blossomed among us.
Walking my daughters down the aisle, I felt a profound sense of pride not only in their happiness but in the journey we had all undertaken. It was a celebration of not just their love stories but of a family that had grown stronger and more respectful.
Their weddings marked not just a union of hearts but a testament to the power of family, forgiveness, and the unexpected ways love can flourish.
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