Wife: Honey, would you mind clearing the garden for me?
Spouse: Do I appear to be a landscaper?
SLAZY PARTNER! (HAHA STORY)
Spouse: I’m sorry, sweetie. So, how about we take care of the bathroom door?
Spouse: Do I appear to be a carpenter?
The spouse leaves the tasks unfinished when he leaves. Later, he comes back to find the bathroom door mended and the lawn well-kept.
Wife: I knew she would take care of things on her own!
Wife: I wasn’t the one responsible.
Wife: Honestly? Who then carried it out?
Wife: The woman next door.
Spouse: What was the amount you gave him?
Wife: He had no desire for money. I have two choices from him now: bread or sex.
Spouse: I hope you fed him some bread!
Wife: Do I appear to be from a bakery?
I Discovered My Mother-in-Law and Husband’s Scheme to Conceal Food From Me Because I’m ‘Too Fat’ — I Retaliated Against Both of Them
Emily was appalled when she overheard her mother-in-law and husband plotting in hushed tones. Their plan to hide food from her because they thought she was “too fat” was deeply upsetting. Striving to put an end to this toxic behavior, Emily cleverly orchestrated a fitting revenge neither would anticipate.
“Honey, but you don’t want to live with an elephant, do you?” Noele’s voice rang from the kitchen.
I froze on the couch, my knitting needles suspended. Did I hear that correctly? My heart pounded as I strained to hear more.
“I don’t, but she’ll notice it and start asking questions,” my husband replied with uncertainty.
“Act clueless. I’ll remove all the food. I’m ashamed that my daughter-in-law is so large. She’s too fat,” Noele continued, her voice laced with contempt.
My heart felt as if it shattered into countless pieces. Three years ago, after having our son at 40, I struggled to regain my pre-pregnancy body.
I toiled long hours to support our family, even extending financial help to Noele when she needed it. How could she say such hurtful things about me?
Setting down my knitting, I stared at the wall, trying to process the conversation I had just overheard. Tears welled up, but I blinked them back. I didn’t want to break down now.
My phone buzzed, pulling me from my thoughts. I realized I had been sitting in a daze, replaying the events of the previous week when Noele had visited us.
Unbeknownst to me, the missing food was her doing. She had been stealthily clearing out the fridge, not wanting her son to be married to a “fat” woman.
Taking a deep breath, I checked the phone. It was a message from Alexander, my husband.
It read: “Hey honey, don’t wait up. My friends are insisting I stay a little longer :)”
Recently, he always seemed to have an excuse to stay out. I began to wonder if my weight was the reason. Did he really see me as an elephant?
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