JOKE OF THE DAY: The housemaid Helen asked her boss lady for a raise.

The maid asked her boss’s wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”

Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”

Wife: “Who said that?”

Helen: “Your husband.”

Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”

Wife: “Who said that?”

Helen: “Your husband.”

Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The third reason is that I am a better lover than you.”

Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”

Helen: “No, the gardener did.”

Two nights ago, I went to bed early because I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant, about to pop any day now.

Thirty-four weeks pregnant and fast asleep, I was jolted awake by my husband’s urgent cries in the dead of night. What followed shattered my world, and by morning, I knew I had no choice but to file for divorce. As my due date looms just two weeks away, I should be filled with excitement for the arrival of our baby. Instead, my heart is heavy with sorrow. My name is Mary, and this is the story of how one terrible night changed everything. It’s been five years since Daniel and I first met, and for the most part, our marriage…

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