I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
A man on an armchair | Source: Pexels
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
A man looking to the side | Source: Pexels
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
A serious woman | Source: Pexels
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
A man | Source: Pexels
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
A woman glancing down | Source: Pexels
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
A happy man | Source: Pexels
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
A woman working at a table | Source: Pexels
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
A woman typing on a laptop | Source: Pexels
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
A woman laughing | Source: Pexels
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
A woman laughing hard | Source: Pexels
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
A woman smiling at her laptop | Source: Pexels
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
A grinning woman | Source: Pexels
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
A kitchen island | Source: Pexels
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
A dumbfounded man | Source: Pexels
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
A serious woman | Source: Pexels
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
A couple having a heated discussion | Source: Midjourney
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Torn paper | Source: Pexels
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
Here’s another story: Nora thought her marriage to Vincent was solid, but a routine kitchen cabinet check while he was away revealed a devastating secret. A seemingly ordinary jar held a truth so shocking that it led her to file for divorce on the spot.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
My Parents Moved My Brother’s Things Into My New House While I Was on Vacation – It Was High Time I Brought Them Back to Earth
When Jeremy and his wife, Nina, get home from a vacation, they are horrified to find Ted, Jeremy’s slob of a brother, in their home. After a confrontation which leads to angry parents and Nina moving out, Jeremy forces Ted’s hand, making him move out…
When I came home from vacation, I was expecting to relax, maybe pop open a bottle of wine with my wife, and enjoy the peace of our home. Instead, we walked into a living room that looked like a complete frat house after a party from Hell.
A couple on vacation | Source: Midjourney
There were beer cans everywhere, dirty clothes tossed in random piles, and the smell, my goodness, the smell. And there, sprawled out on my couch like he owned the place, was my older brother, Theodore, or Ted, as everyone called him.
“Ted, what the hell? What is this? Why are you in my house?” I asked, trying to stay calm, though my blood pressure was rising by the second.
Nina, my wife, looked around our living room and rolled her eyes. In that moment, I knew that I had to fix it or I’d have to deal with a very upset wife.
A messy living room | Source: Midjourney
My brother looked up, casually, like I hadn’t just caught him red-handed.
“Oh, hey, Jeremy,” he said. “Mom and Dad figured that it would be easier if I just moved in while you were gone. You’ve got all this space, and it’s not like you’re using it, you know? You and Nina are either working or on vacation.”
I blinked, trying to process the audacity of his words.
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“You moved in? You moved into my house? Without asking? Ted, are you insane?”
He rolled his eyes, lifting his feet onto the couch and crossing them like he was about to watch a movie.
“Yeah, so what?” he said. “I needed a place to stay, and it’s not like you’d say yes. So, we decided to skip that part. Quit being so uptight, Jeremy. Just help a brother out.”
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
It was like a switch flipped inside me, the years of watching him leech off my parents, his life one big excuse after another, and somehow, he was the victim here.
Now, he’d taken over my house. Really?
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, my phone rang. Mom. Of course.
I answered, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.
A man holding his phone | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, did you and Dad seriously let Theodore move into my house while I was away?”
“Why are you using my full name?” Ted chimed in from the background.
I ignored him.
“Jeremy, don’t be so dramatic,” my mother said, not even a hint of apology in her voice. “Ted needed a place to stay, and you’ve got all that room. You don’t even have kids yet. So what’s the harm in helping out your brother?”
An annoyed woman | Source: Midjourney
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
“Mom, he is 42 years old. He isn’t a kid. You’ve let him mooch off you for years, and you want to dump him on me? Are you being serious? Why do you want to treat him like he’s a kid just out of college?”
My mother’s tone shifted, and she immediately went on the defense.
“Oh, mooching, huh?” she said. “I’m disappointed in you, Jeremy. He’s been through a lot. You don’t understand what it’s like to be him. You’ve always had everything together. Ted needs a little more help. And as family, you owe it to him.”
A frowning man | Source: Midjourney
Been through a lot? My brother had two children under the age of five, with two different women. And he didn’t bother to support either of them. How was I supposed to feel sorry for this man?
Before I could respond, my father took the phone, his voice taking over my ear, sounding even more irritated.
“Jeremy, stop being selfish. You’ve got the money, the house, the wife. What’s the big deal? It’s your job to take care of your family. Ted is your brother. He is staying.”
Two young children | Source: Midjourney
I almost lost my mind. I almost let my anger take over me. But then I remembered that it just wasn’t my style. Ted might’ve thought that he had won this time, but I had a plan.
“It’s not about the space, Dad,” I said. “It’s about respect. Ted can’t just live here without my permission. Nina and I have worked hard for our home. And what’s even worse? My wife just has to deal with this, too.”
From the couch, Ted snorted.
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, come on. Don’t act like you’re all high and mighty. It’s just a house,” he said.
“But you’ve been freeloading off Mom and Dad for years. Why should I trust that you’d do anything differently here? Why can’t you stay with one of your kids and their mom?”
I thought that was the card that would have frustrated him. But he didn’t even flinch.
A frowning man | Source: Midjourney
“Because I’m family, that’s why. Why do you always act like I’m a stranger? It’s my right to stay here. Mom and Dad said that you’d be like this, but I didn’t think you’d be this bad.”
I was done.
“Fine, Ted,” I said. “You want to stay? Sure. Let’s see how that works out.”
I was fine with being horrible to my brother, I mean, someone had to teach him a lesson. But when I went upstairs to tell Nina about everything that had happened on the phone, she was highly frustrated.
A disgruntled man | Source: Midjourney
“Jer, you can’t be serious,” she said as I sat down on the bed across her.
“I’m going to fix it. I promise you, Nina. I’ll make this right. But I’m going to teach him a lesson first.”
“Well, I don’t want to be here for it. You have a week. Get him out, or I’ll stay gone,” she said.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
An annoyed woman | Source: Midjourney
“I’m going to my sister’s house, Jeremy. I can’t stand your brother, and I will not stay here while he’s here,” she said, packing a suitcase as she spoke.
“I’ll make this right, my love,” I promised her.
For the next week, I made Ted’s life a waking nightmare without ever raising my voice. And with Nina gone, I had a bigger incentive to get him out.
A woman packing a suitcase | Source: Midjourney
The first thing I did was disconnect the Wi-Fi. Ted, who spent most of his days glued to his phone or binge-watching shows on the TV, was completely lost.
He complained, but I just smiled.
“Oh, the internet? Yeah, it’s been spotty.”
Next, I shut off the hot water. Ted loved his long, lazy showers, but now he was greeted with ice-cold water every morning.
Water running in a shower | Source: Midjourney
“Must be something wrong with the plumbing,” I’d say innocently when he whined about it.
Then, there was the food.
I stocked the fridge with nothing but tofu, vegetables, and the healthiest food I could find. Ted hated anything that wasn’t greasy or fried. And now, every time he opened the fridge, he groaned like I was starving him.
“You’re family, right?” I’d say. “I’m sure you can deal with a little inconvenience. But it’s for my health, so you’ll be fine.”
An array of healthy food | Source: Midjourney
To top it all off, I started blasting music at 6 a.m. every day while I had my treadmill session in the gym room. I figured if Ted wasn’t going to contribute to the household, the least he could do was get up early.
He hated it all, of course. And by day five, he looked like he was on the verge of losing his mind.
“Jeremy, man, this is BS,” Ted said one morning, his voice filled with frustration. “I can’t stay here. How do you live like this? No Wi-Fi, no hot water, and no food I enjoy. This is torture.”
A man on a treadmill | Source: Midjourney
I raised an eyebrow.
“I thought you’d be grateful to stay, Ted. It’s not like you’re paying rent or contributing anything. What’s the problem?”
He grumbled something under his breath, clearly fuming.
“Forget it, I’m going back to Mom and Dad’s.”
An annoyed man | Source: Midjourney
As he stormed out, dragging his junk with him, I couldn’t help but smile.
But I wasn’t done yet. I cleaned the house top to bottom, went out to get proper groceries, and cooked Nina a good meal. I had already called her during the day and told her that Ted was gone.
“Come home, honey,” I said.
“I’ll see you later,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
While waiting for Nina to shower, I knew that there was just one more thing to do.
“Mom, Dad,” I said on the phone. “Ted’s out of my house. And he won’t be coming back again. He’s your problem again.”
My mother was furious.
“Jeremy, you can’t just kick him out! Where will he go?”
“That’s up to Ted, Mom. He’s 42. If you guys want to keep coddling him, go ahead. But I’m done.”
A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
After that, I heard that Ted moved back into my parents’ house, but they demanded that he transform the garage into his own space. They forced him to get a job.
Ted was upset, of course, so they blamed it all on me. But I was fine with that. Nina and I had our home back, and we were at peace.
A garage converted into a bedroom | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done?
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you |
My Husband ‘Accidentally’ Locked Me in the Basement to Watch Basketball with His Friends at Our House
Dani cannot stand her husband’s friends. So when Ethan brings up the possibility of having them over to watch a basketball game, she shuts down the idea. On the evening of the game, Dani finds herself going into the basement to get a pack of beer, but before she knows it, she’s locked inside. What happens next?…
I should have just said no from the start. Not just when Ethan brought up the idea of his friends coming over for dinner. I mean way before that, like when I first realized how awful they were. I never outright said that I didn’t hate them, but let me be honest with you: I think I made it pretty clear.
An annoyed woman | Source: Midjourney
But my husband, Ethan?
He’s so different from these guys. At 35, he’s a successful manager at a tech company, and for reasons that I will never understand, he’s still friends with the same guys he went to high school with.
They’re loud, rude, and completely unlike Ethan. They’re everything he left behind when he made something of himself.
Except, apparently, his loyalty to them.
A man sitting in his office | Source: Midjourney
“Dani, it’s just one game,” he said that night, sitting in the kitchen with a hopeful grin. “The guys really want to watch the game here. They’re dying to see our new TV setup. It’ll be fun!”
I sighed, trying to stay calm. I could almost see the dreadful evening unfolding. I knew that Ethan’s friends would take over the house, inappropriate comments getting into every conversation.
“Ethan, you know how I feel about them. Every single time they come over, it’s like our house gets turned into a frat house. I’m not cleaning up after them again. It’s not happening.”
A man sitting at a kitchen counter | Source: Midjourney
My husband’s face dropped, a look of wounded pride flashing in his eyes.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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