Some stories involve so many odd aspects that they’re hard to beIieve, such as a recent spat involving Target’s woke Santa nutcrackers, Fox News host Jesse Watters joking about those nutcrackers, and the ladies on ABC’s “The View” going absolutely berserk over what he said about them.
As background, Target has decided to ignore whatever lesson it could have learned from outrage over aspects of its Pride Month apparel, such as Satanist-designed clothing, and released a number of pieces of woke Christmas decor that, predictabIy, infuriated conservative groups.
The company’s decision to release such products comes despite its financial losses that some connect to conservative boycotts and outrage.
FNC’s Jesse Watter responded by mocking the woke items, both on FNC and on X. Posting a clip of himself on X, Watters captioned it by mocking the items, saying, We’re witnessing the Dylanization of corporate America.
Companies are committing financiaI sui cide- one after the other. Target hired Gay Cruella to run their merchandising strategy and now they’re selling g ay nutcrackers and disabled Santa’s. And if you want one, you can just steal it, because they won’t stop you.
Joy Behar of “The View” then got particularly angry about Watters’ remarks, yelling, on the show, You know I realize it’s a complex idea to get your mind around, Mr. Watters, but does Fox News understand that not every human being is heterose xual and caucasian? I don’t think they see that!
Bob returns home drunk one night and slips into bed next to his wife
After a night of overindulgence, Bob found himself in an entirely unexpected situation — standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.
But instead of accepting his fate, Bob struck a deal to return to life… as a chicken. What followed was an egg-laying, feathery experience he never saw coming.
Stumbling Into Bed
Bob was known for enjoying his nights out a bit too much, and that evening was no exception. Late at night, he stumbled into bed, quietly sliding in next to his wife, who was sound asleep. Little did he know, the night was about to take an unimaginable turn.
As the first light of dawn broke, Bob didn’t wake up in his own bed. Instead, he found himself standing before the grand Pearly Gates.
“Am I dreaming?” he muttered, confused.
St. Peter, clipboard in hand, greeted him warmly.
“Bob, I’m afraid you passed away in your sleep.”
Bob’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
“This can’t be! I’m not ready to go. There’s so much I haven’t done yet!”
St. Peter, sympathetically, offered a solution.
“Well, there is one way you could return, but only as a chicken.”
Desperate to get back to life, Bob reluctantly agreed. Without a moment to reconsider, he was instantly transported to a nearby farm, now covered in feathers, clucking involuntarily.
Clucking Confusion
Adjusting to life as a hen, Bob was met by a smug rooster.
“Well, well, look who’s new in the coop! How’s it going, hen?”
Bob, still in shock, responded,
“Not bad, but I’ve got this weird pressure inside me. I feel like I’m about to burst!”
The rooster laughed.
“Ah, you’re ovulating. Haven’t you ever laid an egg before?”
Bob, wide-eyed, shook his feathery head.
“Never.”
“Well, it’s easy,” the rooster said. “Just relax and let nature take its course.”
Bob hesitated for a moment, but then, to his surprise — and discomfort — he laid an egg. A rush of strange emotions followed, and for a brief moment, he experienced the inexplicable joy of motherhood. He laid another egg, then another. Just as he was about to lay his third, a sharp smack to the back of his head jolted him awake.
“Bob! Wake up!” his wife yelled. “You’re drunk again and pooping in the bed!”
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