I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.
The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.
I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”
One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”
My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”
My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.
The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”
My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
Is There a Recently Discovered Lethal Insect Species that Creates Multiple Small Holes in Palms?
There have been multiple web alerts on a “new killer insect” that came from India and can be fatal if handled.
Numerous versions of this alert have made the rounds on social media, many of them claiming to show both the illusive fatal bug and graphic images of the supposed harm it does.
These wounds often present as several puncture marks on the arms or hands. The majority of insect depictions feature a back covered in many tiny tubes.
For your outdoor experiences to be both safe and fun, bug protection is a must. We’ll look at doable and efficient ways to protect oneself from these annoying bugs in this article.
Dress Properly: Keeping yourself well-groomed might serve as your first line of defense against insects. To reduce exposed skin, choose long sleeves, long pants, and socks. Pale in color
Certain insects can also be repelled by clothing.
Apply Insect Repellent: It has been demonstrated that repellents using DEET, picaridin, or oil of lemon eucalyptus work well against mosquitoes, ticks, and other insects. As directed by the manufacturer, apply them to clothing and exposed skin.
Steer Clear of Perfumed Items: Scents, such as perfumes and lotions, have the potential to draw insects. When spending time outside, choose products with mild or no aroma.
Remain in Well-Lit spaces: Darker spaces are where bugs are naturally drawn to. Stay in well-lit places when you’re outside at night or dusk to lessen the likelihood of being surrounded by insects.
Remove Standing Water: Standing water is a breeding ground for mosquitoes. Empty flowerpots, bird baths, and gutters on a regular basis to keep standing water from building up on your yard.
Employ Mosquito Nets: To provide an extra degree of protection when camping or spending time in a place where insects are common, think about covering your sleeping area with a mosquito net.
Keep Windows and Doors Screened: You can let fresh air in while keeping insects out of your living areas by installing screens on your windows and doors.
Avoid Bright Clothing: It’s advisable to adhere to more subdued or neutral hues because brightly colored clothing can attract some bugs.
Examine Yourself After Being Outside: Make sure to properly inspect your body for ticks and other insects after spending time outdoors, especially in grassy or forested areas. Quick removal can lessen the chance that an illness will spread.
limit Bug Habitats: Keeping your yard well-maintained can help limit the amount of vegetation and grass. Cut back on shrubs and long grass, and mow your yard frequently to reduce insect hiding areas.
Use Citronella Candles: The disagreeable fragrance that these candles create repels bugs. By lighting these candles, you can assist your outside spaces become bug-free.
Steer clear of excessive perspiration: The smell of perspiration attracts insects. While perspiring is normal when engaging in outdoor activities, you may want to wipe yourself down and change into dry clothing to lessen the attraction of insects.
Employ Natural Remedies: Certain essential oils, like eucalyptus, citronella, and lavender, are believed to ward off insects. Instead of employing chemical repellents, think about utilizing natural items that include these oils.
Become Informed: Find out what kinds of bugs are typical in your area and how they behave. You can predict where and when they might be most active by using this knowledge.
Seek Professional Assistance: Hiring pest control specialists might offer a long-term solution if your house is experiencing an ongoing bug infestation.
Bug protection is more than just preventing uncomfortable bites; it’s about keeping your health and wellbeing safe. You may enjoy the great outdoors without always being bothered by biting and buzzing insects by putting these techniques into practice and taking proactive measures to prevent them. You can enjoy the beauty of nature to the fullest when you create a bug-free zone, whether you’re camping, gardening, or just lounging on your porch.
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