According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Tori Spelling Stuns in ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Debut at 51 — Her Foxtrot Left Everyone Talking
Tori Spelling recently shared her excitement about joining *Dancing with the Stars*, but her foxtrot performance has sparked mixed reactions online. Public criticism is something the actress is familiar with, and this time was no different.
At 51, Spelling took to the *Dancing with the Stars* stage with grace and confidence, performing a foxtrot with her dance partner, Pasha Pashkov. The duo impressed many in the audience with their elegant routine. Her debut was especially meaningful as she had the support of her former *90210* castmates.
Despite the positive reactions, some viewers voiced concerns and critiques on social media, sharing mixed opinions about her performance.
For her ballroom debut on September 17, Tori Spelling wore a gorgeous, sparkly dress that featured sheer fabric around her midriff. She paired the flowing gown with glittery heels and styled her blonde hair with two braids on the sides, letting the rest fall in soft curls.
Together with her dance partner, Pasha Pashkov, the pair performed their routine to P!nk’s song “Trustfall.” Throughout the performance, Spelling smiled brightly as she spun, swayed, waltzed, dipped, kicked, and shimmied across the stage, following Pashkov’s lead and sticking to their choreography.
After the performance, social media users shared their thoughts. Instead of focusing on her dance skills, some expressed concern for Spelling’s health and wellbeing.
On the other hand, many viewers focused on Tori Spelling’s dancing. One observer criticized, “Awful performance.” Another commenter mentioned her enthusiastic facial expressions, saying, “Her face and voice don’t match she needs more practice .”
Some also questioned the difficulty of her routine. A YouTube commenter remarked, “Her choreography was way easier than most other dancers, not really fair to the other dancers.” Another added, “That was tough! Bless her heart, at least she looks happy?
Despite the criticism, some fans thought Spelling did a great job. One viewer, unhappy with the scores, commented, “She deserved better scores! Why was she undercut? Such beauty to her routine!!”
Among those showing support for Tori Spelling are her former *Beverly Hills, 90210* co-stars: Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris, Jennie Garth, and Ian Ziering.
Before her *Dancing with the Stars* debut, her co-stars shared how excited they were for her to compete for the Mirrorball Trophy on season 33. At the *90210* panel during 90s Con on September 14, they offered words of encouragement. While they all agreed that the show is challenging, they wished Spelling the best. Green, who had competed on *DWTS* himself, advised, “Keep your head on, enjoy the experience.”
On the night of her foxtrot performance, Spelling gave a brief interview with *Extra* where she explained why she finally decided to join the show. She shared that while she had turned down the offer in the past, it wasn’t because she wasn’t a fan—she confirmed that she’s always been a big fan of the show.
This acknowledgment in her book contrasts with a 2013 interview with *Us Magazine*, where Tori Spelling highlighted her bikini body and discussed her weight loss journey. In that interview, she stated, “I feel like I took off the weight safely, and I’m totally happy here,” reflecting the complex pressures celebrities often face in presenting an idealized image of health and fitness. This shows how public figures can feel torn between personal struggles and the need to maintain a perfect image.
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