The hit 1972 sitcom “M*A*S*H” introduced the world to a number of memorable and beloved characters, from the smart-mouthed yet compassionate Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce to his endearing friend, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. Almost every character had stuck in the minds of the fans.
One of the characters that often featured but was easily overlooked by his military counterparts due to his nervous nature was the 4077 MASH unit’s company clerk, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly. Although many of the staff on the base tended to take Radar’s effort for granted, the fans sure noticed him.
Radar was portrayed by the acclaimed actor Gary Burghoff from the start of the TV show in 1972 until the seventh season, which aired in 1979. Although fans clamored for more of the unassuming clerk, Burghoff revealed that he needed to step away from the show to rekindle his personal relationships and fight burnout.
“M*A*S*H’s” Influence and Burghoff’s Personal Identity
Although Burghoff enjoyed playing Radar, the role became increasingly demanding. The actor commented that it became difficult to separate himself from his character in the eyes of the public, which soon became tedious. He also noted that he despised being fawned over by the crowds:
“Aw, I know I’m cute. Cute, cute, CUTE! I was always cute because I was always the smallest kid on the block. I hate cute.”
Everyone saw Burghoff as an adorable, short, timid character as they’d known him on-screen and on the stage for many years. However, after years of being looked down upon, both metaphorically and physically speaking, Burghoff grew tired of the persona so easily attributed to him by scores of people he had never even met.
The actor lashed out against this view of him as a cute little fellow by defending his height. As he so rightly pointed out, 5 feet 6 inches isn’t irregularly short, and he would have seen the tops of Arte Johnson or Mickey Rooney’s heads had they ever met. Nonetheless, the persona stuck.
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor.
Despite his misgivings about how others perceived him, Burghoff’s fellow cast members adored him. The director Charles Dubin recalled working with Burghoff before he left “M*A*S*H,” noting how caring and pleasant Burghoff was to everyone on set. However, Burghoff had another aspect of himself that drove down his self-esteem.
Burghoff had been born with a congenital disability called Brachydactyly, a form of Poland Syndrome. The condition left the actor with three fingers on his left hand that were noticeably smaller than the rest of his digits, and the abnormality had plagued him since he was a small child. The actor commented:
“Of course, this defect affected me while I was growing up. I suppose when I was very young, I knew my disability would set me apart and make me special.”
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor. Yet, becoming a fan-favorite on one of the most iconic TV shows America had ever produced never managed to quell his insecurities about his stout fingers and stocky frame.
Throughout his run on “M*A*S*H,” Burghoff tried to hide his left hand from the camera. He would often position himself so that the camera could only see one side of his body and usually gestured with his right if the scene required it, although the actor would be obligated to use both hands now and again.
In one of the earliest episodes, viewers were introduced to Radar as he stood in an open area, wearing a greyish shirt and his trademark cap. As the actor turned around and looked at the sky — once again hearing approaching helicopters before everyone else — the camera briefly panned over both his hands holding a football.
When Colonel Sherman T. Potter first made his appearance on the show, taking over from the beloved Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, Radar and the new commander shared a scene where they first met. As Colonel Potter exited the room to find the latrines, the camera centered on Burghoff’s upper body as he opened a box with both hands.
Another infamous scene caught Burghoff with both hands on camera. During a regular morning salute, with the loathsome Major Frank Burns leading the ceremony, Radar does his usual morning salute with a bugle. In a hilarious twist, one of the men fires off the ceremonial canon at Burns’s behest.
Naturally, Radar gets the short end of the stick as the cannonball flies directly at him, knocking his instrument clean out of his hands. In the next few seconds, Burghoff turns toward the camera in a pantomime of rage, balling his fists and stomping in outrage. Here, both his hands can be seen for a brief second.
In one of the later episodes, the writers showed off Radar’s softer side when he cuddled his pet guinea pig, Babette. Naturally, Radar stood with his left hand beneath his right, but just as he started to sing, Father John Mulcahy called for him. Burghoff’s hands were visible again as he put the Babette away.
One of the scenes where Burghoff openly showed his left hand came as part of another gag the show pulled. At the start of the scene, Radar could be seen walking across a dirt road while two other military personnel walked away from the camera. The man on Radar’s right first lifted his hand in salute, followed shortly by one on the left.
Radar, the pleasant character he was, lifted his right hand in response to the first salute, as military etiquette dictates. Caught off guard by the quick second salute, Radar lifted his left hand as well, essentially performing a double salute. Feeling sheepish, he frowned and lowered his hands slowly in one of Burghoff’s classic displays of confusion.
My Granddaughter Kicked Me Out of the Apartment I Gifted Her — So I Gave Her a Reality Check
My granddaughter Emily kicked me out of my apartment, claiming it was hers. Little did she know, her “perfect” fiancé, Tom, had a dark secret that would turn our lives upside down and teach us both a hard lesson about trust and family.
It’s been a tough journey since my son and his wife died in that terrible car crash six years ago. I’ve raised my granddaughter, Emily, since she was 16. Wasn’t a walk in the park, but we managed.
An elderly woman interacting with a teenage girl | Source: Pexels
Last Tuesday, Emily burst into our apartment, beaming. “Grandma! Guess what?”
I looked up from my crossword puzzle. “What’s got you so excited?”
“I’m engaged!” She thrust her hand out, showing off a flashy ring.
I felt my stomach drop. “Engaged? To whom?”
“Tom! We’ve been dating for two months. He’s perfect!”
I set my pen down. “Two months? That’s awfully fast, don’t you think?”
Emily’s smile faded. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“I’m just concerned. What about your studies?”
A grandmotherly figure reacting with concern | Source: Pexels
She waved her hand dismissively. “College isn’t for me. I’m dropping out.”
“Emily, you can’t be serious. Education is crucial.”
“For what? I’m gonna be married. Tom will take care of me.”
I frowned. “And if something happens? If he leaves?”
“He won’t,” she snapped. “Why are you being so negative?”
I sighed. “I’m just looking out for you, dear.”
“Well, don’t. Oh, and by the way, I need you to move out.”
I blinked, sure I’d misheard. “Move out? Of where?”
“This apartment. It’s mine now.”
A defiant-looking young woman | Source: Pexels
“Emily, I said you’d inherit it after I pass away.”
She shrugged. “Same difference. I need it now.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“Not my problem,” she said, checking her phone.
“Emily, this is ridiculous! You can’t just kick me out!”
She barely looked up from her ever-present phone. “Watch me. I want you gone by tomorrow.”
A young woman looking at her mobile phone | Source: Pexels
I tried reasoning with her, but it was like talking to a brick wall. That night, I barely slept, my mind churning with worry and disbelief.
The next day, Emily literally shoved me out the door. “Time’s up, Grandma. Tom’s moving in tonight.”
Standing in the hallway with a hastily packed bag, I pleaded, ‘Emily, please. Let’s talk about this.’
She rolled her eyes and dismissed me with a curt, “There’s nothing to talk about. Bye.” Then the door slammed shut in my face.
I spent the night in the hallway, still in shock. How could my own granddaughter do this?
A sad-looking elderly woman, deep in thought | Source: Pexels
In the morning, I went to the store and bought a new outfit so I could make myself presentable to see a lawyer. We filed a lawsuit to reclaim my apartment, but I had something else in mind to teach Emily a lesson.
I called my sister, Beatrice, who lived in another town. “Bea? It’s Evelyn. I need a favor.”
“What’s wrong? You sound awful.”
I explained the situation, and Bea was livid. “That ungrateful little… Of course, you can stay here. Get yourself over here, and we’ll figure this out.”
After taking the bus to Bea’s and settling there, I rang up my colorful old friend Fiona. She runs a PI firm.
An elderly woman placing a mobile phone call | Source: Pexels
“Fi, I need your expertise. Can you look into Emily’s fiancé?”
“Sure thing, Ev. What’s his name?”
“Tom. That’s all I know. But I’ve figured out how to find him on social media channels — my granddaughter taught this old dog some new tricks.”
“Text me whatever you have on him and give me a few days. I’ll see what I can dig up.”
“Okay, will do, Fi, thank you,” I replied.
An elderly woman talking on a mobile phone | Source: Pexels
While Fiona investigated, I called the lawyer about my apartment and told him to hold fire on the lawsuit to reclaim it.
“It’s pretty clear-cut,” the lawyer said. “The apartment’s in your name. She has no legal right to it.”
“I just hope it doesn’t come to that. I want to talk sense into her first,” I replied.
Three days later, Fiona called back. “Ev, I’ve got bad news. This Tom character’s a real piece of work.”
A tech-savvy older woman operating a mobile phone | Source: Pexels
“How so?”
“He’s conned at least four wealthy women in the past three years. Left them broke and broken-hearted.”
My blood ran cold. “Are you certain?”
“Absolutely. I’ve got all the evidence right here.”
I thanked her and hung up. Poor Emily had no idea what she was walking into.
The wedding day arrived faster than I expected. I showed up at the venue with Fiona, clutching a folder of evidence.
Emily spotted me and stormed over. “What are you doing here?”
A woman in bridal dress, looking defiant | Source: Pexels
“Trying to stop you from making a huge mistake.”
“You weren’t invited!” she hissed.
I held up the folder. “Emily, Tom’s not who you think he is. He’s after your money.”
Her face paled. “What are you talking about?”
“He’s done this before. Multiple times.”
Emily snatched the folder from my hands and started flipping through it, her hands trembling. “This… this can’t be right.”
Just then, Tom appeared, his face contorted in anger. “Baby, what’s going on?” he demanded.
A man in a suit, gesticulating angrily | Source: Pexels
Emily spun around, her eyes flashing with hurt and anger. “Is this true? Are you just using me?” she demanded, her voice quivering with emotion.
Tom’s smile faltered, his facade cracking. “Of course not. Who told you that nonsense?” he asked, a hint of desperation creeping into his tone.
“It’s all here,” Emily said, her voice shaking as she thrust a document towards him. “Proof of what you’ve done.”
Tom’s eyes darted around the room, panic setting in. Without warning, he bolted for the exit, leaving stunned silence in his wake.
A man in a suit and tie, walking hastily | Source: Pexels
Emily sank into a nearby chair, her body wracked with sobs. As guests started murmuring and filing out, I sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her trembling shoulders. “I’m so sorry, sweetie,” I whispered, feeling utterly helpless.
She looked up at me, mascara streaking down her face. “What do I do now?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“We’ll figure it out together,” I assured her, squeezing her hand gently.
A downcast bride sitting in a chair | Source: Pexels
***
A few days after I returned to the apartment, Emily called in a panic from work. “Grandma, I’m in deep trouble! The bank just called. Tom maxed out my cards and took out loans in my name. I don’t know what to do. I owe so much.”
I took a deep breath. “You need to face this head-on. Get another job. Sell what you can.”
“But that’ll take forever!” she wailed.
“Sometimes that’s how it goes,” I said firmly. “When you come home this evening we’ll talk this over and figure it out.”
Emily nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’ve been terrible to you. I’m so, so sorry.”
A woman sitting on a chair, holding her head in despair | Source: Pexels
“I forgive you,” I said. “But it’s time to grow up.”
***
Over the next few months, Emily worked herself to the bone. She waited tables and worked retail. She also sold most of her possessions.
We settled back into our usual routine in the apartment. Emily kept working and even started taking some online classes.
“I never realized how hard it is to make money,” she said one day over dinner.
A young woman looking to her left in a kitchen | Source: Pexels
I nodded. “It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding. You’re doing great, Emily.”
She smiled. “Thanks, Grandma. For everything.”
Six months after the wedding-that-wasn’t, we sat on the balcony sharing a pot of tea.
“Grandma?” Emily said. “I never properly thanked you. For everything.”
I patted her hand. “You’re welcome, dear. I’m proud of how you’ve handled things.”
An elderly woman holding the hands of a younger companion | Source: Pexels
She smiled. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I was such a brat before.”
“You were,” I agreed. “But you’ve really turned things around.”
Emily nodded. “I have. And I swear, I’ll never take you for granted again.”
“I know you won’t,” I said. “You’ve learned a valuable lesson.”
“Several, actually,” Emily laughed. “Never trust a guy with a too-perfect smile, always read the fine print, and grandmas know best.”
I chuckled. “That about sums it up.”
An elderly woman smiling gently | Source: Pexels
“Seriously, though,” Emily continued, “I can’t believe how blind I was. Tom seemed so perfect.”
“That’s often how con artists operate,” I explained. “They tell you exactly what you want to hear.”
Emily sighed. “I just feel so stupid.”
“Don’t,” I said firmly. “You’re not the first to fall for someone like that, and you won’t be the last. What matters is how you handle it afterward.”
She nodded. “I guess. It’s just… I had all these dreams, you know? A big wedding, a perfect life. Now I’m working two jobs and taking night classes.”
A young woman looking thoughtfully out of a window | Source: Pexels
“And you’re all the stronger for it,” I pointed out. “You’re building a real future now, not a fantasy.”
Emily smiled. “You’re right. It’s hard, but it feels good. Like I’m actually accomplishing something.”
“You are,” I assured her. “I’m so proud of you, Emily.”
As we watched the sun dip below the horizon, I felt a sense of peace come over me. We’d been through hell and back, but our bond was stronger than ever. Sometimes, tough love is exactly what’s needed.
A sunset over a neighborhood dominated by apartment blocks | Source: Pexels
Emily leaned her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Grandma.”
“I love you too, sweetie,” I replied, wrapping an arm around her.
We sat there in comfortable silence, watching the stars come out. It wasn’t the future either of us had imagined, but it was ours, and we’d face it together.
What would you have done?
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one about a grandmother who set a marriage deadline for her granddaughter, threatening to exclude her from the will if she didn’t comply.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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