For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.
This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.
What was Her Childhood like?
In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.
The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.
Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.
The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.
At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”
Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.
The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.
For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.
After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.
She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.
He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.
Life’s Harsh Realities
When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”
The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.
At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.
Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.
The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.
After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.
The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images
Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”
Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.
The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate
By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.
Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”
Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.
After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.
Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”
However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Going Under the Knife
In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”
Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.
Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.
Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.
For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.
Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.
She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”
Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.
While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.
The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.
Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.
“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.
Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.
Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others
Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.
However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.
He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”
When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”
Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.
The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”
She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.
However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.
Celebrating Love and Growth
Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.
The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.
Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.
“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.
The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.
For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.
Serving as a Waitress at a Wedding, I Was Stunned to See My Husband in the Groom’s Attire
While serving at a wedding, I suddenly spotted the groom—it was my husband, David. Seeing him with another woman, pretending to be someone else, sent my world crashing down. In that moment, everything I thought I knew about my life was turned upside down.
Oh, weddings… They always had a way of stirring up old memories, bringing me back to that day when David and I said our vows. Our wedding wasn’t anything grand or over the top—far from it, actually.
We were just two young people in love, not concerned about fancy decorations or a big reception. Even now, after seven years of marriage, those memories still brought a smile to my face.
Working as a waitress for a catering company meant that I was always around weddings. Every time I walked into a beautifully decorated hall, the smell of fresh flowers in the air, I couldn’t help but think back to our simple ceremony. If only I had known how fragile things could be…
That day, just like any other, we arrived early to set everything up before the guests and the newlyweds showed up.
About an hour later, the guests started arriving, their excited chatter filling the hall as they waited for the bride and groom to return from their photo session. I was in the restroom when Stacy, my colleague, burst in, her face pale with worry.
“Lori, listen,” Stacy said, her voice shaky, “I think you should go home.”
“Go home? Why would I do that?” I asked. “Are you trying to get more shifts for yourself? Sorry, but I need the money just as much as you do.”
Stacy shook her head, looking more nervous than I’d ever seen her. “No, Lori, you don’t understand. I really think you shouldn’t be here.”
“What are you talking about? Why are you acting so weird?” I said. “Stacy, seriously, what’s going on?”
She bit her lip, glancing toward the hall. “You’re not going to like what you see.”
I headed back to the hall, my mind racing with thoughts of what Stacy had said. My heart nearly stopped when I saw the bride and groom. Stacy was right—I shouldn’t have come.
There, standing in front of all the guests, was David… my David. The man I had shared my life with for seven years, now standing with another woman.
My breath caught in my throat. I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. I couldn’t make sense of what I was seeing. I turned and ran outside, tears streaming down my face. It was like a nightmare, one I couldn’t wake up from.
Outside, I collapsed against the wall, gasping for air. My vision blurred with tears, but I forced myself to look at the sign with the bride and groom’s names: “Welcome to the wedding of Kira and Richard.” Richard? What a liar!
Stacy rushed outside. She tried to speak, to comfort me, but I couldn’t hear her. All I could think about was how he had betrayed me. I wiped my tears away, anger building inside me. I wasn’t going to let him get away with this. No way. I was going to ruin this wedding and expose him for the fraud he was.
I returned to the hall just as the bride and groom were giving their first toast. My heart pounded in my chest, but I knew I had to do this.
I marched straight up to David and snatched the microphone right out of his hand. He looked at me, his face full of shock and anger, but I didn’t care. He deserved every bit of what was coming.
“I have an announcement!” I shouted into the microphone, my voice echoing through the hall. Every head turned toward me, the room falling into a stunned silence.
The bride, this poor woman, clung to David like he was her lifeline. She looked at me with wide, fearful eyes, clearly not understanding what was happening.
“David, or as you all know him, Richard, has deceived you all!” I began, my voice trembling with rage. “He’s already married! To me!” The words hung in the air like a bomb that had just gone off. Gasps rippled through the crowd, and I could see the confusion and disbelief on their faces.
“What?” the bride stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. She turned to David, her eyes filling with tears. “Richard, what’s going on? Who is this woman?”
David shook his head, his face a mask of feigned confusion. “I… I don’t know,” he stammered. “I’ve never seen this woman in my life.”
“Seven years of marriage, and you were blind?!” I shouted, feeling my anger boil over.
“What? What seven years of marriage?” he asked, still trying to play dumb.
“Stop pretending you don’t know me,” I said. “You’re only making it worse, David.”
“My name is Richard!” he shouted back, his voice desperate. “I have no idea who your David is. You’re crazy!”
“Oh, really?” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Then what’s this?” I pulled out my phone, the screen lit up with a picture of our wedding day. I held it up for everyone to see. The room fell into a deeper silence as people strained to get a look.
The bride, Kira, stepped closer, her eyes locking onto the image. “Richard…?” she asked, her voice trembling. “How could you do this to me? How could you lie to me like this? And to her?” She pointed at me, her hand shaking as tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Kira,” Richard said, his voice softening as he reached for her. “I swear, I don’t know who this woman is or why she has a photo with me. I would never hurt you.”
But the bride shook her head, backing away from him. “I loved you, Richard… or David, or whoever you really are,” she said, her voice breaking. “How could you betray me like this? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“I’m Richard,” he insisted, desperation creeping into his voice. “And I love you, Kira. I’m telling the truth!”
I couldn’t hold back a bitter laugh. “He’s probably only with you for your money,” I said, the words dripping with contempt.
“Shut up!” David yelled, his voice raw with anger and fear.
The bride shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “No, Richard, I can’t do this. I can’t be with someone who could lie like this, who could do something so awful.”
She turned to me. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really didn’t know.”
“It’s not your fault,” I replied, my voice softening. “He deceived us both.”
“Kira, please,” David begged, but it was too late. She was already turning, running toward the door, her wedding dress trailing behind her like a broken dream.
Without a second thought, David bolted after her. “Kira! Wait!” he shouted as he disappeared through the doors after her, leaving the stunned guests and me standing there in silence.
I stormed outside, ready to tell David I was done and filing for divorce. But when I found him, he was sitting on the curb, tears streaming down his face.
“Of course, play the drama,” I said, crossing my arms.
He looked up, his face twisted with anger. “You! This is all your fault!” he shouted. “My wife ran away from me, and it’s because of you! Some crazy waitress!”
“I’m the crazy one?!” I yelled back. “You’re the one who married another woman while still being married to me!”
“I’m not your husband! I’ve never seen you before in my life!”
“Oh, really?” I challenged, pulling out my phone. “Then let’s call David, who you claim you’re not, and see what happens.”
“Go ahead, call him!” he snapped.
I dialed David’s number, putting it on speaker, but the phone just kept ringing. “How strange that you’re not picking up,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Then, suddenly, the ringing stopped, and I heard his voice. “Yes, dear. Is everything okay?”
“What the…?” I stammered, staring at the man in front of me.
“I told you I’m not your husband!” he said, his voice calmer now, but still tense.
“Honey,” I said into the phone, trying to keep my voice steady, “I think you should come here; something strange is going on.”
David arrived about half an hour later. For what felt like forever, he and Richard just stood there, staring at each other in complete silence. It was like looking into a mirror—they were identical in every way.
Finally, Richard broke the silence, turning to me with a wry smile. “Well, if I were in your shoes, I would’ve done the same,” he said.
David’s eyes shifted to me, filled with hurt and confusion. “How could you think I would do something like this to you?” he asked quietly.
“He’s your exact double,” I blurted out, desperate to make him understand.
“Yes,” David replied, his voice soft. “But it still hurts that you thought that.”
“I’m sorry, honey. I was just so angry and hurt,” I said, reaching for his hand.
As it turned out, Richard and David were both adopted from the same orphanage when they were just babies. But they were taken in by different families. They had no idea the other existed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My husband had a twin brother he never knew about.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that my wife hates me,” Richard said, his voice filled with despair.
“We’ll fix that,” I replied.
“Yes, get in my car, and let’s go,” David added, already moving toward the car.
“She’ll never forgive me,” Richard muttered.
“She will when she sees David,” I assured him.
We drove in silence to the hotel where Kira was likely staying. We went to her room, but she wouldn’t let us in. I could hear her crying through the door, and it broke my heart.
We didn’t give up. We stood outside under her window, shouting up at her, trying to get her attention. Finally, she looked out the window, her eyes red from crying.
“Kira!” I shouted, waving my arms to get her attention. “Your fiancé didn’t lie to you! And my husband didn’t cheat on me! Look!” I pointed to Richard and David, who stood side by side, identical in every way.
Kira’s eyes widened in shock. “How is this possible?!” she shouted down at us.
“We were separated in the orphanage!” Richard shouted back.
For a moment, she just stared at us, then she closed the window, and our hearts sank.
“See? I told you she wouldn’t forgive me,” Richard said, his voice heavy with defeat. But just as the words left his mouth, the door burst open, and Kira ran out, tears streaming down her face. She threw her arms around Richard and kissed him, holding him tight.
David pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry I doubted you,” I said softly, looking up at him.
David smiled, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Oh, I think I would’ve done the same. Honestly, I’m flattered that after seven years of marriage, you’re still willing to fight for me.”
I laughed, nudging him playfully before leaning in to kiss him. So, my husband gained a brother, and I gained a friend I can’t imagine my life without.
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