Here’s Why I Refused to Take Care of My Mother with Disability– Story of the Day

My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.

While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.

In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.

“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”

“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.

They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.

All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.

Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.

I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.

They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.

I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.

“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.

“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.

“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.

“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.

“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.

“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.

“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.

“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.

“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.

“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.

“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.

“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.

“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.

“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.

“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.

“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.

Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.

Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.

What can we learn from this story?

  1. Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
  2. Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.

Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.

If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.

Randy Travis: A Story of Resilience and Hope

Randy Travis is a well-known country music performer whose rich baritone voice has won over millions of fans. Travis has had great success in his career, from selling over 25 million albums to collecting Grammy awards. But despite his notoriety and splendor, he has had his share of difficulties.

Randy Travis

Travis went to the ER in July 2013 with complaints of congestion; nevertheless, a few days later, he suffered a massive stroke. He was placed on life support to preserve his brain due to the substantial damage to the core of his left brain. With only 1% chance of life, the doctors forced his then-fiance Mary to make an impossible choice. Nevertheless, she remained by his side, resolved to defend his life.

After undergoing brain surgery, Travis stayed in the hospital for more than six months to recuperate. He had trouble walking and speaking after the stroke, but with his wife’s help and physical therapy, he was able to gradually restore his strength. Even though it got harder for Travis to sing and perform, he didn’t let it define who he was.

Randy Travis stunned the crowd in 2016 at the Country Music Hall of Fame by performing “Amazing Grace” for the first time after suffering a stroke. His performance stunned everyone in the room when his wife spoke on his behalf. It served as evidence of both his tenacity and the miracle he encountered.

Eager to reunite with his fans, Travis returned to the CMA Fest three years later. He smiled beautifully as he posed for pictures, signed autographs, and greeted his fans for the first time in twenty years. In terms of getting his life back and sharing his music with others, it was a big step.

Travis shared details of his experience in his autobiography, “Forever and Ever, Amen: A Memoir of Music, Faith, and Braving the Storms of Life.” He was frank in sharing his highs and lows, from his celebrated music career to his struggles with drinking. Travis talked about his serious financial difficulties as well as the lessons he discovered along the way.

Despite his continuous battle with aphasia, Travis’s wife affirms that his singing ability is still present as he approaches his 61st birthday. His baritone voice, which is a testament to his artistic ability, is still audible. He sings in the car when they drive, in the correct mood and with great verses.

The tale of Randy Travis is one of tenacity, optimism, and the force of love. It reminds us that no matter what obstacles we encounter, we can return to what really matters if we have the love and support of our loved ones and a strong will.

As we honor Randy Travis’ unyielding spirit and timeless music, let’s keep him and his amazing journey in our prayers.

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