My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.
While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.
In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.
“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”
“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.
They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.
All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.
Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.
I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.
They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.
I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.
“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.
“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.
“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.
“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.
“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.
“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.
“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.
“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.
“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.
“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.
“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.
“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.
“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.
Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.
Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.
What can we learn from this story?
- Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
- Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.
Mother Welcomed Her First Child at 66 and Has Lived with Public Rejection since Then
The memories of the day you become a parent will be ones you hold dear forever. A unique child who depends on you has just entered the world. You must provide them with the finest environment and encouragement while they work to achieve their goals.Adriana Iliescu gave birth to her first child in 2005, and because she was 66 at the time, her story received extensive media coverage.Adriana was overjoyed when her daughter Eliza was born.
She said, “Medically, it’s doable. It could be done, since I understand experiments with a 70-year-old woman are currently taking place in England. I am in good health and believe that having another child in the future is conceivable, but I’m not in a rush right now.Adriana and Eliza have a similar bond to most mothers and daughters over time. Eliza is a young child who is tremendously joyful, humorous, and intelligent.Although a lot of people have an opinion about Adriana’s age, the mother claims that Adriana is a great mother and takes good care of Eliza.
“I don’t consume alcohol or smoke. Eliza will be 20 years old when I die if I survive as long as my parents did. I still believe I have a lot to offer her.Adriana did not plan on getting pregnant at such a late age. When Adriana Iliescu was a young newlywed, she was forced to have an abortion due to health issues. She was 24 when her husband abandoned her.Adriana subsequently focused on other facets of her life, such as her job as a professor at a Romanian university.
As I was working, “I couldn’t even think about a child.”But I wasn’t ready to have children until I finished my doctorate at age 37. However, IVF did not exist back then.Adriana was 57 years old when in-vitro fertilization became an option in Romania. Adriana’s first pregnancy in 2000 resulted in miscarriage despite her attending counseling.Many people turned their backs on her because she wanted to have children. They thought Adriana was acting immorally, but she persisted in her desire to have children and never gave up.
Eliza was eventually born after receiving treatment from Dr. Bogdan Marinescu in Bucharest. Adriana had really been expecting triplets, but only Eliza survived after the other two died in the womb. Unfortunately, because of her premature delivery, she had to spend a lot of time in the NICU.
Adriana, who was deeply religious, wanted to baptize her daughter immediately after she had grown into a strong young child. Sadly, some religious organizations opposed Adriana having a kid at such a late age. At Eliza’s baptism, Adriana encountered weird looks from the nuns, one of them even referred to her as “the creation of dark energy.”
Adriana claims that Eliza is a gift from God. Today’s Adriana Iliescu
Adriana gave birth to her first child in 2022, which has been 17 years ago. Adriana is usually mistaken for Eliza’s grandmother, but they are currently having a great time together.
But the seasoned mother is still in great physical and mental shape. She is a very loving person, and that is what it takes to nurture a child.
Adriana is 83 years old and still writes. She claims to be in good health and has published more than 25 children’s novels. She appears to be a fantastic mother, but she still holds down a part-time professorship in Bucharest.
Adriana has also ensured that Eliza’s future is in capable hands.
When Adriana chose to use IVF, she made an agreement with the physician. He will be the girl’s godfather and legal guardian in the event that Adriana passes away.
Eliza, who is 17 years old, wants to study and attend college, but Adriana initially prefers to keep her family’s private affairs private. Eliza, who always makes the honor roll, continues on her mother’s academic tradition.
Compared to many people in their 25s and 30s, she appeared to be performing better. She is COMMITTED to her child and has no outside interests to divert her. Her daughter has an amazing energy and seems to be very content, happy, and well-rounded.
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