My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.
While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.
In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.
“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”
“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.
They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.
All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.
Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.
I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.
They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.
I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.
“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.
“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.
“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.
“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.
“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.
“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.
“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.
“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.
“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.
“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.
“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.
“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.
“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.
Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.
Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.
What can we learn from this story?
- Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
- Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.
My Rich MIL Constantly Gives My Daughter Old, Dirty Clothes from Clothing Banks and Demands That She Wear Them
My Rich MIL Constantly Gives My Daughter Old, Dirty Clothes from Clothing Banks and Demands That She Wear Them
When my rich mother-in-law, Barbara, insisted on giving my daughter old, dirty clothes from clothing banks, I had to find a way to make her understand. Little did she know, her birthday party would be the stage for a lesson she’d never forget
“Lucy, what did your mother-in-law send you this time?” my friend Megan asked over our usual coffee catch-up.
“Oh, just more of her lovely donations from the clothing bank,” I replied, rolling my eyes. I had just received another bag of old, musty clothes from Barbara. “Here, let me show you,” I added, lifting out a tatty old dress I had tucked into my handbag.
“Why don’t you ever tell her to stop?”
“Because that would be rude, and John wouldn’t like it,” I said, exasperated. “He thinks she’s just trying to help.”
Megan sighed. “You’re too nice, Lucy. Too nice.”
Two woman at coffee shop, one holding up an old garment | Source: Midjourney
John came home later that evening, looking tired but cheerful. “Hey, Luce. Got some good news! Mom wants to take Emma to the park tomorrow.”
“That’s great,” I said, masking my unease. “Just make sure she doesn’t change Emma into any of those clothes she brings.”
John laughed. “Come on, Luce. They’re just clothes.”
The next day, when John and Emma returned, my heart sank. Emma was wearing a stained, oversized dress. It looked like it had been pulled straight from the garbage.
A child wearing an old dress | Source: Pexels
“Mommy, Grandma said this is what normal kids wear,” Emma said, her eyes wide with confusion.
“Sometimes people have strange ideas about what’s important,” I explained. “But we know what makes us happy, right?”
Emma nodded. “I like the clothes you buy me, Mommy. They’re pretty and clean.”
I kissed her forehead. “And that’s what matters.”
“But what if Grandma gets mad?” Emma’s voice was small.
An adult and child together in bed | Source: Pexels
“Don’t worry about that, sweetie,” I reassured her. “Mommy will handle it.”
The next day, I decided to confront John. “John, we need to talk about your mother.”
He looked up from his newspaper, surprised. “What about her?”
“I can’t keep accepting those old clothes she brings for Emma. It’s not right.”
John frowned. “Lucy, you know she means well. She’s just trying to help.”
I shook my head. “No, John. She’s trying to make a point. She thinks I’m wasting your money on new clothes for Emma.”
A couple arguing | Source: Pexels
He sighed. “I’ll talk to her.”
“No, John. I’ll handle it.”
Barbara’s visits had always been a source of tension. She’d swoop in with her designer bags, full of judgment and old clothes. “Lucy, you must learn to be frugal,” she’d say, handing me another bag of rags.
“Thank you, Barbara,” I’d reply, forcing a smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”
But the truth was, I never used those clothes. Emma deserved better. She deserved clean, well-fitting clothes, not the cast-offs Barbara deemed suitable.
A woman holding a large carrier bag | Source: Pexels
The day after the park incident, Barbara showed up unannounced. She waltzed into the living room, her perfume overpowering. “Lucy, we need to talk,” she declared, sitting down as if she owned the place.
“Barbara, I can’t keep accepting these clothes for Emma,” I said, my voice firm.
She looked taken aback. “What do you mean? They’re perfectly good clothes.”
“No, they’re not. They’re dirty and old. Emma deserves better.”
Barbara’s eyes narrowed. “Are you saying my gifts aren’t good enough?”
An angry woman gesticulating | Source: Pexels
“I’m saying Emma shouldn’t have to wear rags while you live in luxury.”
Barbara’s face flushed with anger. “I am trying to teach her humility.”
“Humility? By making her feel less than? That’s not how it works, Barbara.”
She stood up abruptly. “You’re ungrateful, Lucy. You don’t appreciate anything I do.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m grateful for many things, Barbara, but not for making my daughter feel inferior.”
A man looking concerned | Source: Pexels
Barbara stormed out, leaving a tense silence in her wake. I knew I had crossed a line, but it was a line that needed crossing.
John came home that evening, sensing the tension. “What happened?” he asked.
“I told your mother we can’t accept her clothes anymore,” I said, bracing for his reaction.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Lucy, this is going to cause a lot of trouble.”
“Maybe, but it’s the right thing to do.”
He nodded slowly. “Alright. I support you, but this isn’t going to be easy.”
“I know, but it’s necessary,” I said, feeling relieved to have my husband’s support, but also anxious.
A woman texting | Source: Pexels
***
The next weekend, Barbara texted, insisting on taking Emma out again. My heart pounded as I typed my response. “No, Barbara. Not until you understand why this has to change.”
She replied with a string of angry messages, but I stood my ground. For Emma, for our family, and for myself, this had to change.
Birthday party decoration | Source: Pexels
Barbara’s birthday was the perfect time to set things right. I spent the next week meticulously gathering everything for the party: chipped plates, mismatched cups, and day-old pastries. John raised an eyebrow at my choices but said nothing.
On the day of the party, Barbara was dressed in her finest, a sparkling gown and expensive jewelry. She welcomed her friends into the house, oblivious to my plan.
The guests were greeted by the sad spread of food and the thrifted table settings. Barbara’s friends exchanged confused and uncomfortable glances, while Barbara tried to maintain her composure.
Hands holding cans of beans | Source: Pexels
“Lucy, what is all this?” Barbara asked, trying to keep her irritation hidden behind a forced smile.
“It’s a special spread, Barbara,” I said sweetly. “Like the gifts you give Emma.”
Her face tightened, but she said nothing. The room buzzed with awkward conversations.
Then came the gifts. Barbara tore into mine eagerly, expecting something grand. Instead, she found an old, broken chair, wrapped up nicely. The room fell silent.
“Lucy, what is this supposed to mean?” Barbara’s voice wavered with anger and embarrassment.
An elegantly-dressed older woman | Source: Pexels
“It’s what you’ve been giving Emma,” I said, standing tall. “You dress her in rags while you live in luxury. How is that fair?”
Her friends murmured in agreement. Barbara’s face turned red, and she seemed on the verge of tears.
“I… I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she stammered. “I thought I was teaching her humility.”
“Humility?” I echoed, my voice trembling. “You’re just making her feel less than. That’s not what family does.”
A man with a child on his lap | Source: Pexels
Barbara looked around the room, seeing nods of agreement from her friends. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I really am.”
John, who had been watching quietly, stepped forward. “Mom, Lucy’s right. Emma deserves better than that.”
Barbara looked at him, her eyes glistening. “I never meant to hurt anyone. I just… I thought I was doing the right thing.”
John sighed. “We know you didn’t mean any harm. But things need to change.”
A woman embraces another with a smile | Source: Pexels
Martha, one of Barbara’s oldest friends, spoke up. “You know, Barbara, this reminds me of your childhood. Remember how you hated hand-me-downs?”
Barbara’s face softened. “I did hate them. I guess I never dealt with those feelings properly.”
I looked at Barbara, seeing her in a new light. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s no excuse,” Barbara said quietly. “But I’m trying to do better now.”
John hugged her. “Thank you, Mom. It means a lot.”
A man hugging a woman | Source: Pexels
From that day forward, Barbara changed. She stopped bringing old clothes for Emma and instead began contributing positively to her granddaughter’s life, buying her new clothes and toys.
The relationship between Lucy and Barbara improved, marked by newfound respect and understanding. My bold action, driven by love for my daughter and a desire for fairness, ultimately brought the family closer together.
In the following months, Barbara’s transformation was remarkable. She not only
changed her behavior towards Emma but also started volunteering at local shelters and food banks. She began using her resources to help those in need, turning her past actions into a force for good.
A woman with a “volunteer”-printed T-shirt holding a food parcel | Source: Pexels
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