This shift in his pattern piqued my curiosity and concern. One weekend, while Derek was out visiting a friend, I decided to clean his car—a task that he usually took upon himself.
As I vacuumed the interior and wiped down the dashboard, I stumbled upon a stack of receipts tucked away in the glove compartment. My hands trembled slightly as I unfolded them, revealing charges for a hotel room right here in our town. The dates on these receipts coincided perfectly with the days he claimed to be out of town for work.
My initial instinct was to rationalize these findings. Maybe there was a reasonable explanation, like a mix-up with the receipts or perhaps he was helping out a friend in need. But as much as I wanted to dismiss my growing suspicions, the seeds of doubt had already been planted deep in my mind.
Determined to get to the bottom of this, I started to pay closer attention to Derek’s comings and goings. I started noting the times he left the house and the purported destinations for his business trips.
My scrutiny extended to collecting any and all receipts I could find—whether they were casually discarded in his pockets or left behind in his car. Most were mundane, everyday purchases, but every so often, another hotel receipt would surface among them, each one like a small jolt to my heart.
This pattern continued, each receipt adding weight to the uneasy feeling settling in my chest. The more I found, the more the pieces began to form a picture I was afraid to confront.
Yet, despite the mounting evidence, I hadn’t brought up my concerns with Derek. I was torn between not wanting to believe my husband could be deceiving me and the growing realization that I needed to address these doubts somehow.
The next few days were filled with a thick tension that seemed to permeate our home. Derek’s comings and goings became even more erratic, and his excuses grew increasingly flimsy. “I have to leave urgently,” he’d announce abruptly, and I’d nod, feigning indifference. But inside, my suspicion and resentment were building to a crescendo.
One evening, fed up with the lies, I decided to follow him. He left the house in a rush, barely managing a goodbye. I waited a few minutes before I quietly slipped into my car and trailed behind him from a safe distance.
My heart pounded as I drove, each turn he took adding to the tight knot of anxiety in my stomach. He didn’t head towards the office or any business district; instead, he pulled into the parking lot of the same hotel from the receipts.
I parked a little way off and made my way to the lobby, trying to blend in with the crowd. I found a discreet spot near the elevators from where I could observe without being seen.
It wasn’t long before I saw him—Derek, my husband, the father of my children—walking side by side with a woman. They were laughing, touching each other’s arms intimately, and then they embraced, a long, passionate hug that made my heart sink.
The shock of seeing them together, so close, so personal, was nearly overwhelming. My hands shook with a mix of anger, sorrow, and disbelief. Driven by a surge of adrenaline, I stepped out from my hiding spot and confronted them. The look on their faces was priceless—shock, guilt, fear—it was all there. Derek stammered, and tried to explain, but I didn’t want to hear any of it.
The next few days were a blur of arguments, tears, and revelations. It turned out that the woman was more than just a fling; Derek had believed they had something special.
But the ultimate betrayal came when I learned from a mutual friend that, shortly after our breakup, she had scammed him. She had persuaded Derek to open a joint account under the guise of starting a new life together. Then, without warning, she withdrew every penny and disappeared, leaving him devastated and financially ruined.
This revelation didn’t bring me any satisfaction. Instead, there was a hollow feeling of vindication mixed with immense sadness for the chaos that now surrounded what was once a family united. Derek was a broken man, deceived by someone he trusted, just as he had deceived me.
In the wake of our separation, I found myself reevaluating everything that had happened. Our home felt different, and emptier, as I dealt with the aftermath of Derek’s actions on our marriage and our family’s financial stability. The prenup, once a simple precaution, now seemed like a prescient safeguard that protected what little I had left for our children’s future.
Derek’s affair and the subsequent scam had not only ended our marriage but had also left him in ruins. It was a painful irony that he was duped in much the same way he had deceived me. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him—he was, after all, the man I had once loved deeply.
Now, as I stand in the quiet of what used to be our shared living room, I realize the depth of the betrayal and the indelible mark it has left on my life. Moving forward won’t be easy, but it’s necessary. For me, for our kids, and even for Derek, the path to healing is going to be a long one, but it starts with stepping out of the shadows of deception and reclaiming my life, one day at a time.
What Men’s Beauty Standards Look Like in Different Countries
The mainstream definition of what an ideal man should look like varies from country to country. Just like women, a lot of men try to follow common beauty trends in order to be seen as more attractive. The cultural difference in what exactly people consider objectively beautiful might come as a surprise.
Bright Side did a fun bit of research about what people consider to be the ideal male beauty standard in many countries around the world. Looking at the most beloved male celebs will tell you about what is considered attractive.
1. United States and Canada
According to People’s magazine, the most attractive men in the US for the past 3 years are Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther), and singer John Legend.
The usual definition of beauty, when it comes to men in the United States and Canada, is having a muscular physique, ruggedness, and golden skin. However, in the past couple of years, especially among the younger generation, an androgynous look has become more desirable.
2. India
According to the poll, the most attractive men in India are actors Shah Rukh Khan (Don 2), Aamir Khan (Like Stars on Earth), and Hrithik Roshan (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Even though Shah Rukh Khan took first place, he actually opened up, saying that he has been called “ugly and unconventional” in the past.
The main beauty standard in India is having a lighter skin tone, which gets promoted a lot on TV. Other than that, Indian standards are pretty close to American: tall, muscular man, who have clear skin and a full head of hair.
3. United Kingdom
According to a 2021 poll, the most attractive man in the UK is Tom Hardy (Inception), and 2022 research suggests that Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) has a huge shot of winning that title.
The research data says that the ideal type of man for British people has an athletic build, brown eyes, short dark-brown hair, and some facial hair. In fact, men with beards are found to be over 60% more attractive than men without them.
4. Philippines
The most attractive men in the Philippines have been noted as Josh Cullen Santos from the boy group SB19 and the actor Alden Richards (Imagine You & Me).
The beauty standard in the Philippines has shifted and instead of looking macho, the men care about their appearance a lot and go for a more beautiful look, so they go to salons to get facials. Other standards include having dark hair, being at least 5’9“, and having a more “mestizo” look, which means being mixed with white.
5. South Korea
While western countries prefer men who are athletically built, South Korea likes more of a skinny, androgynous-looking body (not too skinny, fat, or muscular) for men. Men need to be a little bit soft, with slim facial features, double eyelids, and lighter skin.
Male celebrities in South Korea also do not shy away from using makeup or dyeing their hair, actors dye it black to look more youthful while idols dye it “fun” colors, and it is not considered to be revolutionary like it would be in the US.
6. Mexico
Mexicans go for a more “macho” look, which means being extremely masculine, as opposed to South Korea which prefers a more androgynous look. The list of the most attractive men includes actors Diego Boneta (Luis Miguel) and Ryan Guzman (9-1-1) in the first 2 spots.
7. Germany
According to research, German women prefer their men to be taller, with either black or brown short hair. The largest percent of the respondents said that they would like their man to be muscular, but skinny men took a close second place.
Football player Marco Reus and the actor Thore Schölermann have been named the most attractive men.
8. Italy
In Italy, men being overly masculine does not have much importance in terms of their attractiveness. In fact, a lot of men are into grooming and styling their body hair, and Italian men do not shy away from wearing “girlish” colors, like pink or purple.
The most attractive male celebrities are considered to be Raoul Bova and Giulio Berruti.
9. Australia
Australian male beauty standards are focused on physical size and being muscular. While women perceive their bodies as heavier than ideal, men who follow beauty standards, on the contrary, think they are too skinny. The Hemsworth brothers are considered one of the ideals of Australian beauty.
10. The Netherlands
The Netherlands is considered to be a country that has the tallest people in the world, with the average height of a woman being 5’7″ (around 170 cm), and 6’0″ (around 183 cm) for men. Dutch women seek a male partner that is taller than them.
TV presenter Arie Boomsma and actor Michiel Huisman have been named 2 of the most attractive Dutch men, and their heights match up the beauty standard: Boomsma is 6’5 (around 198 cm), while Peelen is 6’1 (around 185 cm). Notably, both men are also muscular and have facial hair.
Which country’s standards align with your own? Do you think standards are hurtful for people’s self-esteem?
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