A few weeks ago, I started noticing something wasn’t right. Every day after I came home from the hospital, Liam would look exhausted. And not just the normal kind of tired; he seemed drained, distant.
His eyes were heavy, his usual energy completely gone. Worse, he looked scared. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d just shrug and say, “I’m fine, Mom.”
But I knew better. “Liam, honey, are you sure? You don’t seem yourself. Is something going on at school?”
“No, Mom. Everything’s fine.” He’d try to force a smile, but I could see through it. Something wasn’t right.
I asked Grace, our nanny, if she had noticed anything. She had been helping me out for nearly a year, watching Liam after school when my shifts ran long.
“Oh, he’s probably just tired from school,” she said casually. “You know how kids are—always a little moody. Plus, I don’t let him watch too much TV, so he might be sulking about that.”
I wanted to believe her, but the worry in my gut kept growing. Liam wasn’t a moody kid, and I knew when something was off with him. I just couldn’t figure out what.
I tried to brush it off as me being paranoid and overthinking things like I sometimes do. But every day, Liam seemed to retreat further. It was like something was bothering him and it was eating at me.
One evening, after I tucked Liam into bed, I found myself staring at the security camera footage. We had a couple of cameras around the house for safety reasons, but Grace didn’t know about them. I hesitated at first, feeling guilty, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
When I watched the footage, my heart sank. Every day, around lunchtime, Grace would take Liam out of the house. She always told me they stayed in, but the cameras told a different story.
They were gone for hours, and when they returned, Liam looked dirty, tired, and distant. Once, I even saw Grace wipe him down before I got home, like she was hiding something.
I watched as she placed a finger to her lips and made a “shush” motion toward Liam. My hands tightened around my phone. What was going on? Where was she taking him?
By the fourth day of watching this play out, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know the truth. I took a personal day from work, telling my boss I’d be late, and parked down the street, waiting for Grace and Liam to leave.
Just as I had expected, around noon, they slipped out of the house and walked down the street. I followed them at a distance, my heart racing. They turned down an alley I hadn’t noticed before, and at the end of it stood an old, run-down building.
Grace unlocked a rusty door, and they both disappeared inside.
I hesitated for a moment, fear gnawing at me. But I had to know what was going on. I crept closer, my hands trembling as I pulled out my phone and hit record. The door creaked open slightly, and I slipped inside, my footsteps barely audible.
The air was damp and musty. It smelled like a place forgotten by time. I saw a set of stairs leading down into what looked like a basement, and my stomach twisted in knots. What was Grace doing with my son down here?
I waited a few minutes, then crept closer. The door was slightly ajar, so I slipped inside, barely breathing. The place smelled musty, like old, forgotten things. I could hear muffled voices from below. I descended the dusty stairs, careful not to make a sound.
And then… I froze.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, my heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst. But what I found wasn’t what I expected at all.
The basement that I’d imagined as cold, dingy, and sinister wasn’t. Instead, it was a large, brightly lit room. The walls were freshly painted in a soft olive green — my favorite color.
I blinked, trying to process what I was seeing. Along the walls were shelves lined with fabric, thread, buttons, and ribbons, neatly organized. There was a small wooden desk in the corner covered with sewing patterns carefully laid out.
“What…?” I breathed, completely at a loss for words.
I hadn’t noticed Liam yet, but when I looked up, there he was, standing next to a giant cardboard box in the middle of the room. His eyes went wide when he saw me.
“Mom!” he gasped, frozen in place.
Grace, who had been folding fabric at the desk, dropped the cloth she was holding and stared at me, just as startled. For a few seconds, none of us said anything. I couldn’t make sense of the scene in front of me. All the fear, all the suspicion — it melted into confusion.
“What is this?” I stammered, my voice shaky. “What’s going on here?”
Liam glanced nervously at Grace, then back at me, biting his lip like he always did when he was anxious. He took a small step forward. “I… I was trying to surprise you, Mom.”
“Surprise me?” I repeated, looking around the room. None of this was making sense. “Why—what is all this?”
Liam shifted from foot to foot, his small hands clasped in front of him. “I found your old diary, the one from when you were a kid,” he said softly.
“You wrote in there about how you wanted to be a seamstress… how you wanted to design clothes and have your own brand.”
I felt a sudden tightness in my chest. That diary. I hadn’t thought about it in years. I could barely remember writing in it, let alone the dreams I had poured into its pages.
Liam continued, his voice growing even quieter. “But you said your parents pressured you to become a doctor instead, and it made you really sad.”
I felt my breath catch. I’d buried those feelings so deep that I had almost forgotten they ever existed. And here was my son, reminding me of a dream I’d long since given up.
Liam’s eyes filled with worry as he looked at me. “I just—I just wanted to make you happy, Mom.” His voice cracked a little, and he swallowed hard. “So, I asked Grace if she could help me build you a place to sew. We’ve been coming here after school every day to work on it.”
I stared at him, my heart full but aching all at once. “Liam…” I whispered, barely able to speak.
“We saved up,” he added quickly, pointing to the big cardboard box. “We got you something special.”
I glanced at Grace, who was now standing beside him, her hands clasped in front of her. She smiled, a bit sheepishly, but there was warmth in her eyes.
“He used all the money he saved from birthdays,” she explained softly. “We found a thrift store with a sewing machine that was in great condition. It turned into a little project for us.”
A sewing machine? My heart felt like it might burst. I slowly sank to my knees, my hands trembling. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You did all this for me?” I whispered, looking up at Liam. Tears were already spilling down my cheeks.
Liam’s eyes filled with worry. “Mom, are you okay?”
I couldn’t speak. All I could do was nod. He rushed to me, wrapping his little arms around my neck and holding me tight. I hugged him back just as fiercely, my tears falling freely now. My sweet boy. My beautiful, thoughtful, loving boy.
Grace walked over and quietly lifted the cardboard box. Beneath it was a shiny, modern sewing machine. I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. It wasn’t just some old thing from a thrift store — it was practically brand new.
“We wanted to surprise you, but I guess we didn’t plan on you finding out like this,” Grace said with a soft chuckle.
Liam pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes. “I just wanted to make your dreams come true, Mom,” he whispered. “Like you always do with mine.”
His words hit me like a wave, and I broke down, sobbing harder than I had in years. Not out of sadness, but out of pure, overwhelming love and gratitude.
I had spent so long thinking that part of my life was over, that I had missed my chance. But here was my son, this little boy with a heart bigger than I ever realized, bringing that dream back to life for me.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered through my tears. “Liam, you… you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”
Liam smiled, his own eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I just want you to be happy, Mom.”
I pulled him into my arms again, holding him close, as if I could protect this moment forever. The room, once an old forgotten basement, was now filled with light, hope, and love.
And all because my little boy believed in me, even when I had stopped believing in myself.
How to Recognize Sneaky Narcissistic Traits in Mothers
Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
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