I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
I Had Doubts about Dating a Single Dad, but What I Found after He Moved into My House Left Me Pale
I came home expecting a quiet evening, but what I found instead shook me to the core. In that moment, I realized my trust had been betrayed, and my peaceful life was about to be turned upside down.
When I first started dating Ryan, I knew there would be challenges. I was stepping into a relationship with a man who had three young daughters, and I was prepared for the extra noise, the mess, and the constant whirlwind that would follow us wherever we went.
Woman laughing with her husband | Source: Midjourney
I had been living alone in my cozy, peaceful home for years and had gotten used to the calm and order that came with it. But I knew that loving Ryan meant embracing the chaos his daughters would bring, and I was ready to make the necessary sacrifices.
My home was my sanctuary, but I was willing to adjust. When Ryan moved in, I sacrificed my guest room and the upstairs rec room so the girls could have their own spaces. It wasn’t always easy.
Middle aged couple standing in their house | Source: Midjourney
I would often find myself retreating to my bedroom just to get a moment of quiet. But I was committed to making our new family dynamic work, so I kept reminding myself that this was what it meant to love someone—sacrifices, compromises, and the willingness to adapt.
But just when I thought I had a handle on things, the situation took a turn I never saw coming.
Ryan’s ex-wife, Laura, had always been a bit of a wild card. She was the kind of person who thrived on drama and attention. So, when she suddenly decided to get the girls a dog, three kittens, and a bunch of rodents, I wasn’t entirely surprised.
A woman with her cats | Source: Midjourney
What did surprise me was the fact that her lease strictly prohibited pets. I couldn’t understand why she would make such a reckless decision, knowing it would cause problems. But I chalked it up to her trying to win the girls’ favor, hoping they’d see her as the “fun” parent.
I thought that would be the end of it, that she’d have to face the consequences of her actions on her own. “She’ll sort it out,” I muttered, hoping Ryan would agree. But that wasn’t the case. When her landlord found out about the pets and threatened to evict her, Ryan stepped in, determined to play the hero. “They can stay with us,” he told the girls with a reassuring smile, “We’ll make room.”
Ryan smiles at his daughter | Source: Midjourney
“Are you serious?” I asked, my voice sharp with disbelief. “We can’t possibly take in all those animals, Ryan. You know I have allergies, we both work long hours, and let’s be honest, you’re not exactly the most reliable when it comes to keeping the house in order.”
He frowned, clearly taken aback. “But they’re just kids,” he pleaded. “They’ve already fallen in love with the animals. How can we take them away now?”
“I get that,” I replied, trying to stay calm. “But maybe a few of the rodents could stay, not the entire zoo. We can’t turn this place into a circus.”
A woman arguing with her husband in their bedroom | Source: Midjourney
The girls, overhearing our conversation, looked devastated. They had already become attached to the animals, and now they were faced with the possibility of losing them.
Ryan, caught in the middle, started sulking, his usual response when things didn’t go his way. Meanwhile, his ex, ever the drama queen, played the victim. She acted as if I was the evil stepmother ruining everyone’s fun, and that’s how the girls started to see me too.
Sad man sulking in his bed | Source: Midjourney
Then, one afternoon, after a particularly exhausting day at work, I came home ready to unwind. As I pushed open the door, I froze. My living room looked like an animal shelter.
The dog was lounging on my couch, the kittens were scampering around like they owned the place, and the rodents were making themselves at home in the corners. My throat started itching almost immediately, my nose tingling with the telltale signs of an impending allergy attack.
A dog on the couch | Source: Pexels
I felt a surge of anger, betrayal burning in my chest. Ryan had brought all the animals over behind my back. As I stood there, trying to process what was happening, one of the girls, Emma, approached me, looking guilty.
She hesitated before blurting out, “Mom told us you wouldn’t mind the pets because you told her you liked animals. But when we were at dinner last week, I heard you tell Dad that you had allergies. I think Mom heard too.”
Girl whispering something to her mother | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t react right away, just nodded and reassured her that it wasn’t her fault. But that was the first crack in the story I’d been told. Why was Ryan’s ex lying to her kids?
That’s when it clicked. Ryan’s ex had done this on purpose. She’d overheard me talking about my allergies and decided to use it against me, knowing it would cause chaos in our home. I was furious, but I also realized that I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.
A woman has a moment of realization | Source: Midjourney
That evening, I confronted Ryan. “Why did you bring the animals here without telling me?” I asked, my voice trembling with barely controlled anger.
He looked at me, guilt written all over his face. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal. The girls were so upset, and I just wanted to make them happy.”
“And what about me?” I shot back. “You know I have allergies. You know how hard it is for me to keep up with the housework as it is. Why didn’t you talk to me first?”
Woman arguing with her husband | Source: Midjourney
Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t want to disappoint them.”
I shook my head, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness. “Ryan, this isn’t just about the animals. It’s about trust. You went behind my back, and you let your ex manipulate you. We’re supposed to be a team, and right now, it feels like I’m fighting this battle alone.”
Frustrated woman looking down | Source: Midjourney
He looked at me, his expression softening. “You’re right. I should have talked to you first. I won’t let it happen again.”
But I wasn’t satisfied with just an apology. I needed to get to the bottom of what had really happened. I decided to dig deeper.
The next day, I made a few phone calls. It wasn’t hard to find the truth once I knew where to look. I managed to get in touch with her landlord under the guise of verifying some information about his other property. When I casually mentioned the pet situation, he was puzzled.
Landlord talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve never had a problem with pets,” he said. “In fact, I encourage it. Makes the place feel more like home, you know?”
That was all I needed to hear. Ryan’s ex had lied. She’d never been at risk of eviction. She’d used the pet issue as a way to manipulate the situation, knowing it would cause a rift between Ryan and me, and likely hoping I’d cave in to keep the peace.
Middle aged woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
That evening, I confronted Ryan again, this time with the full story. “I talked to her landlord,” I said, watching his face carefully. “He doesn’t have any problem with pets. She lied about being at risk of eviction.”
Ryan was floored. He stared at me, disbelief and anger flickering in his eyes. “She lied?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded. “She used the situation to stir up trouble between us. She knew it would cause problems, and she did it anyway.”
Sad middle-aged man | Source: Midjourney
Ryan clenched his fists, anger radiating off him in waves. “I can’t believe she would do that. I feel like such an idiot.”
I reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “You’re not an idiot, Ryan. But you need to see her for who she really is. We can’t let her manipulate us like this. We need to be stronger together.”
He looked at me, a mixture of regret and determination in his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
Middle-aged man hugging his wife | Source: Midjourney
The next day, I texted Ryan’s ex. I calmly explained that I knew the truth and that the animals needed to go back to her place. When she tried to argue, I reminded her that her own landlord had no issue with pets. She had no choice but to take them back.
The girls were understandably upset when they found out that their mom had lied to them about the pets. It wasn’t easy for them to reconcile that their mom had used them as pawns in her own game. But in the end, it brought some much-needed clarity to the situation.
Girls holding their pets | Source: Midjourney
Ryan and I had a serious talk about trust and communication. I made it clear that if we were going to make this work, we needed to be a team, making decisions together and not letting outside forces pull us apart. He agreed, and while things weren’t perfect, we were on the same page for the first time in a long while.
If you liked this story, consider checking out this one: My husband abandoned our baby and me at the airport, choosing to take our family vacation solo. Little did he know, his “relaxing” trip was about to turn into a nightmare — and his return home would be even more dreadful.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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