I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
Big and Beautiful: Plus Size Becomes the New Average for American Women
Social Media’s Role in Redefining Beauty Standards
Social media has revolutionized nearly every aspect of modern life, and its influence on beauty standards is no exception.
For decades, beauty ideals for women have been narrowly defined. From Marilyn Monroe’s curvaceous figure in the 1950s to the ultra-thin frames of 1990s supermodels, society’s idea of the “perfect” body has shifted over time. However, a consistent theme has been the pressure on women to conform to a singular standard, often dictated by pop culture and advertising.
In contrast, social media has significantly expanded the definition of beauty. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube now feature creators of all sizes, shapes, and ethnicities. This inclusivity is reshaping how people view their bodies, offering representation that goes far beyond the size 0 models traditionally seen in mainstream media.
Plus Size Becomes the New Norm
As American women increasingly embrace body positivity and size inclusivity, research shows that the average body size is also changing.
A study published in the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology and Education highlights a shift in what is considered “average.” While it was once commonly stated that the average size for American women was 14, the study reveals that the average woman now wears between a misses size 16 and 18, which corresponds to a women’s plus size 20W. Additionally, the average waist size has increased from 34.9 inches to 37.5 inches over the past two decades.
“We hope this information reaches both the industry and consumers,” said Susan Dunn, one of the study’s lead researchers, in an interview with Today. “Understanding these figures can have a profound impact on women’s self-esteem. The apparel industry needs to recognize that these women are here to stay and deserve inclusive clothing options.”
Why Are American Women Getting Larger?
The average size of American women has increased over the past several decades. According to the CDC, the average weight of an American woman is now approximately 170.6 pounds, compared to 140 pounds in the 1960s. Multiple factors contribute to this trend:
- Lifestyle Changes: Sedentary jobs, higher calorie consumption, and an increased reliance on processed foods play significant roles.
- Cultural Shifts: Greater acceptance and celebration of diverse body types have reduced societal pressure to adhere to extreme dieting.
- Genetics and Environment: Genetic predispositions and environmental factors, such as stress and access to healthy foods, also influence body size.
Beyond Appearance: A Health Perspective
While larger body sizes are increasingly celebrated, the medical implications cannot be ignored. Obesity rates have doubled since 1990, according to the World Health Organization. Social media, while fostering inclusivity, has also been criticized for promoting unhealthy lifestyles and sedentary habits that contribute to weight gain.
The Mayo Clinic emphasizes that “obesity isn’t just a cosmetic issue.” It is a medical condition that increases the risk of numerous health complications, including heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, liver disease, sleep apnea, and certain types of cancer.
A New Era of Beauty
True beauty lies in celebrating individuality rather than conforming to a rigid standard. Social media has been instrumental in spreading this message and has the potential to reshape beauty norms in a positive way when used thoughtfully.
What’s your take on social media’s impact on beauty standards? Share your thoughts and pass this article along to gather more perspectives!
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