Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
On Christmas Night, a Pregnant Woman About to Give Birth Knocked on Our Door – I Went Pale Upon Discovering Who She Really Was
It was a peaceful Christmas night until a desperate knock shattered the calm. A young, pregnant woman stood shivering in the snow. Her chilling words, “Let your husband explain,” turned my world upside down.
The house was peaceful that Christmas night. The smell of gingerbread lingered in the air, and the twinkling lights on the tree cast a warm glow in the living room.
A Christmas home | Source: Pexels
Mark sat on the couch, engrossed in his new PlayStation game. The kids were upstairs, sound asleep after an exciting day of presents and treats. I stood in the kitchen, washing the last of the dinner plates.
For once, everything felt perfect.
Then came the knock at the door.
A decorated door | Source: Pexels
I froze, sponge in hand, and tilted my head toward the sound. Who could it be? It was nearly midnight, and the snow outside was coming down hard. My first thought was the neighbors, but why would they come so late?
“Mark?” I called, but he didn’t look up. “Did you hear that?”
“What?” he replied, eyes glued to the screen.
A man playing a game | Source: Pexels
“There’s someone at the door.”
He shrugged, his fingers moving on the controller. “Probably a package. Just leave it.”
“On Christmas night?” I grabbed my coat from the hook near the door. “I’ll check.”
A woman looking to her side | Source: Midjourney
The icy wind hit me first, sharp and biting when I opened the door. Then I saw her — a young woman, shivering so hard she looked like she might collapse. Snow clung to her hair and coat, and her lips were nearly blue.
“Please,” she said, her voice trembling. “I… I need help. I’m about to give birth. Please, take me to a hospital.”
A young scared woman | Source: Midjourney
I stared at her, unsure what to do. “Are you alone? How did you get here?”
She winced and held her belly. “I got lost… I couldn’t make it to the hospital.”
“Who are you?” I asked, stepping aside so she could come out of the cold.
A concerned woman on her doorstep | Source: Midjourney
She looked me in the eyes, her face pale and serious. “Let your husband explain. He thought he could get rid of me.”
The words hit me like a punch to the chest. My stomach tightened, but I didn’t have time to process them. “Come in,” I said quickly. “Sit down. You’re freezing.”
I led her to the couch and grabbed a blanket from the chair. “Stay here. I’ll get Mark.”
A woman sitting on her couch | Source: Midjourney
“Mark!” I called, my voice sharp now. “Come here. You need to see this.”
“Fine,” he muttered, setting down the controller and walking over. The moment his eyes landed on her, his face turned ghost-white.
“What… what are you doing here?” His voice cracked.
“I finally found you,” the woman said, her tone biting. “And you can’t just walk away this time.”
A shocked man | Source: Pexels
I looked between them, confusion growing in my chest. “Mark, who is this? Do you know her?”
Mark swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair. “Claire, I can explain—”
The woman cut him off. “Explain? Don’t you dare. You left me and my mom. You abandoned us, and now you’re here playing house like nothing ever happened.”
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
“Wait,” I said, holding up a hand. “What is she talking about? Mark, who is she?”
Mark sighed, avoiding my gaze. “She’s… my daughter. From before we met.”
“Your what?” I took a step back, the words not sinking in.
The woman glared at him. “Yeah, your daughter. The one you left behind when I was six. The one you pretended didn’t exist.”
A woman arguing with her husband | Source: Midjourney
“Stop,” Mark said, his voice rising. “I didn’t know you’d come here. I—”
“Of course you didn’t,” she snapped. “You’ve been ignoring me for years. But I wasn’t going to let you keep running.”
I turned to her. “And you came here because…?”
A frowning woman in her living room | Source: Midjourney
“Because he deserves to face me,” she said through gritted teeth. “But also because I need help. I’m having this baby, whether he likes it or not.”
Mark dropped into the armchair, burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean for it to happen this way. I thought… I thought I could move on.”
“Move on?” she shouted. “You mean forget about me. Forget about the mess you left behind.”
An upset bald man | Source: Freepik
I shook my head, trying to catch up. “Why didn’t you tell me, Mark? Why didn’t you ever say you had a daughter?”
“I was ashamed,” he whispered. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
The woman’s voice softened, but her pain was clear. “You were ashamed? That’s why I grew up without a father?”
An upset woman on her couch | Source: Midjourney
The weight of her words hung in the air. I stared at Mark, waiting for him to explain himself, but he just sat there, silent. The woman shifted on the couch, suddenly wincing in pain.
“We can deal with this later,” I said firmly. “Right now, she needs to get to the hospital.”
The woman locked eyes with me. “Are you going to help me? Or am I on my own again?”
An upset young woman looking up | Source: Midjourney
I grabbed my coat and keys, glancing back at the young woman who was now hunched over on the couch, clutching her belly. She winced, letting out a low groan.
“We’re going to the hospital,” I said firmly, wrapping the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “I’ll drive you myself.”
Mark stood, his hands trembling. “Claire, let me come with you. I should—”
A nervous bald man | Source: Midjourney
“No,” I interrupted, my voice sharp. “You need to stay here.” I stared at him, my anger bubbling beneath the surface. “You need to think about what you’ve done. You’ve hurt both of us, and right now, she’s the one who needs me.”
“Claire, I didn’t mean—”
“Not now, Mark!” I snapped, turning toward the woman. “Let’s go. We’ll figure this out later.”
A woman snapping at her husband | Source: Midjourney
She nodded weakly, and I helped her to her feet. As we made our way to the car, the snow whipped around us, stinging my face. I opened the passenger door and helped her adjust the seat so she could lean back.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her breath fogging the air.
I climbed into the driver’s seat, gripping the wheel tightly. “You’re welcome,” I said, though my voice wavered. “You’re not alone in this.”
A determined woman driving | Source: Midjourney
The roads were slick with ice, and the wind howled as I drove. My knuckles were white against the steering wheel, not just from the treacherous conditions but from the storm inside me.
“You okay back there?” I asked, glancing at her through the rearview mirror.
“Yeah,” she muttered, though her face told a different story.
A young woman in pain in the backseat of the car | Source: Midjourney
The silence between us was heavy. My mind churned with questions and emotions I couldn’t untangle. How had Mark kept such a huge secret? How could he abandon his child? And now, here she was, carrying a baby into a world that had already let her down.
“I don’t even know your name,” I said, finally breaking the quiet.
She looked up, her face pale but determined. “Emma.”
A young woman in pain | Source: Midjourney
“Emma,” I repeated softly. “I’m Claire.”
She nodded. “You’re… kind. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I knocked on your door.”
“Well, I’m still trying to wrap my head around all this,” I admitted. “But whatever happened with Mark, it’s not your fault. And I’m not going to hold it against you.”
A woman driving a car | Source: Midjourney
Her lips quivered, and she looked away. “Thanks,” she whispered.
By the time we reached the hospital, Emma’s contractions had grown stronger. I waved down a nurse as soon as we entered the emergency room.
“She’s in labor,” I said quickly.
The nurse nodded, grabbing a wheelchair. “We’ll take her from here.”
A nurse looking at a chart | Source: Pexels
I turned to Emma. “I’ll stay,” I promised. “You’re not doing this alone.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she gave a small nod.
The next hours were a blur. I stayed by Emma’s side, holding her hand as she gritted her teeth through each contraction. She squeezed so hard, I thought my fingers might break, but I didn’t let go.
A woman giving birth | Source: Freepik
“You’re doing great, Emma,” I said, brushing a strand of damp hair from her face. “Just a little longer.”
Her cries of pain filled the room, but she pushed through, determined. Finally, a piercing cry cut through the tension.
“It’s a boy,” the doctor announced, holding up a tiny, squirming bundle.
A woman and her newborn | Source: Pexels
Emma sobbed, reaching out for her baby. I watched as the nurse placed him in her arms. His face was pink and wrinkled, his cries softening as Emma held him close.
When I got home, the house was quiet. Mark was sitting in the living room, staring at the darkened TV screen. He looked up as I walked in, his face full of guilt.
“How is she?” he asked softly.
A guilty looking man in his living room | Source: Midjourney
“She had a baby boy,” I said, my voice flat. “She’s strong. Stronger than you.”
“Claire—”
“No,” I cut him off. “I need answers, Mark. How could you keep something like this from me? From us?”
A couple having a serious talk | Source: Midjourney
“I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I was young, and I made mistakes. I didn’t know how to face them. And when we started our life together, I thought… I thought I could leave it behind.”
“But you didn’t leave it behind,” I said sharply. “You left her behind. And now she’s here, with your grandson. You have to fix this, Mark. You owe her that much.”
A serious talk | Source: Midjourney
He nodded with tears in his eyes. “I will. I promise.”
“You’d better,” I said, heading upstairs. “Because she deserves better and I believe you.”
As I lay in bed that night, I thought about Emma and the baby. Life had changed in a way I never saw coming, but for the first time, I felt a glimmer of hope.
A smiling hopeful woman | Source: Midjourney
Sometimes, the hardest truths bring the biggest chances for growth. And I was ready to embrace them.
Liked this story? Consider checking out this one: A family summer visit turned chaotic when Lisa’s once-polite stepson, Jake, transformed into a rebellious teen, creating turmoil in their household. The final straw came when Lisa discovered money missing from her wallet, pushing her to take drastic action.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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