Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue actually wrote the marital handbook.
The long-married couple’s book, What Makes a Marriage Last: Insider Stories, contains personal facts about their marriage. Forty Well-Known Couples Share Their Secrets with Us.
The most fascinating revelation made by Marlo is that, even though she and Phil have been married for over 40 years, she never really wanted to get married.
The famous person expressed in the book her previously negative opinion of the institution, saying that marriage is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks away all of your ambition and vitality when you stick it to your ear.
Thomas frequently shares her opinions, likening marriage to having to placate a prisoner. That is, until she met Donahue.
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas met following the dissolution of their first marriage, and they have remained lifelong friends ever since.
The Phil Donahue Show, which was eventually renamed as simply “Donahue,” was the vehicle through which Phil Donahue first gained popular recognition. For the first time, audience members participated in the program, which ran for 29 years. One of the visitors on his show who radically changed his life’s trajectory was Marlo Thomas.
The book claims that the two met in 1977 in Chicago, when Phil was bringing four children with him. His fifth child, a daughter, lived somewhere else with her mother and ex-wife.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before being married in 1980 in front of a small wedding party of thirty-five guests.
Not surprise, Marlo’s friends and family were taken aback by the actress’s sudden change of heart. A hilarious story of Marlo’s bridal shower, where visitors hung notes from the soon-to-be bride that disclosed her past views on marriage, is featured in the couple’s book.
The book claims that Marlo’s mother was the most shocked of all, asking Donahue, “How did you get her to do this?” throughout the nuptials of the pair.
Reportedly, among other emotions, even total strangers voiced shock at the well-known social activist’s decision to get married. While Phil was in the lavatory, a passenger on the airplane the couple took to Greece for their honeymoon expressed displeasure to Marlo, presumably disappointed that she had given up her old independent streak.
In the book, Thomas is honest enough to acknowledge that something was unclear when they spoke. After all her life condemning marriage, was she suddenly a hypocrite for getting married? Had she let those down who held her in high regard as the embodiment of self-reliance?
Even though Donahue and Thomas discuss the usual ups and downs of their long marriage in the book, they manage to make their marriage work to this day. They describe these problems as teaching moments that deepened their relationship.
The couple had been apart from the beginning of their marriage, with Phil traveling to Chicago to tape his show and Marlo traveling to pursue her acting career.
Thomas had a greater understanding of how different individuals define marriage when his aunt said that the couple’s union was void because they weren’t living together exclusively. In spite of their separation, Thomas and Donahue were able to keep their marriage together. Significantly, Marlo’s marriage resulted in her having children.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Thomas reflected on her experience helping Phil raise his kids, stating she went into it knowing that they already had a traditional mother and that would not be her role.
Rather, Marlo claims that she began to treat Phil’s children more like friends in an effort to mimic the parenting style of her own mother. She continues by saying that she feels more connected to them today than she did at the start of their marriage.
Donahue points out that Thomas really did strive to understand the lads in the book and spent as much time as she could getting to know his sons.
Phil and Marlo believe that their long marriage is a result of her strong bond with his kids and their mutual faith in each other. “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back,” says Marlo in clarification.
Despite being married for more than 40 years, they still have more memories to make.
Phil goes on to argue that a marriage has to be desired by both parties in order for it to last. Marlo says she would never want to be anything other than married to her lover, echoing his sentiments. She claims that Donahue has assisted her “in every manner possible.”
When two people truly commit to one another, marriage is an incredibly lovely union that is made much more beautiful.
These two have a lot to teach and inspire us all. As satisfying as their relationship is, we should all strive to be in one!
I Wanted to Teach My Husband a Lesson for Cheating on Me, but Life Punished Me Instead
Bethany’s perfect life shatters when she discovers a love note hidden in her husband’s jacket, hinting at his infidelity. Devastated and consumed by betrayal, she spirals into a quest for revenge that may destroy the very family she cherishes.
My name is Bethany, and I had everything a woman could ask for: a devoted husband, Noah, and two wonderful kids, Darcy and Jake. Every morning, I’d wake up feeling blessed, thinking, “This is it. I’ve made it.”
Until one mistake destroyed everything.
It was a Friday afternoon, and I was doing one of those deep cleans where you end up finding all sorts of forgotten treasures and junk. I was sorting through Noah’s jackets, wondering how one man could need so many, when I felt something crinkle in the pocket.
Curious, I pulled out a folded piece of paper, thinking it was an old receipt or a shopping list.
I unfolded the note, and my heart stopped. The words blurred as my mind tried to make sense of them.
“I will never forget Friday night. You were the best! I love you! I hope you will still divorce her and we will have the children we dream of!”
My hands shook. My first thought was denial. No, this couldn’t be true. Noah had said he was working late that Friday. He even brought home a project he was supposedly working on.
I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I sat down, clutching the note, my mind racing.
For days, I was a mess. My perfect life began to crumble. I couldn’t look at Noah without seeing those words, imagining him with someone else. The betrayal cut deeper than I ever thought possible.
I became distant, preoccupied. Noah noticed, of course, but every time he asked if something was wrong, I brushed him off with a weak smile and a “just tired, that’s all.”
Darcy and Jake sensed the tension too.
Darcy would ask, “Mommy, are you okay?” And I’d plaster on a smile, trying to reassure her. But the cracks were showing, and everyone around me started to notice.
Friends invited me out, sensing I needed a break, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. I was drowning in a sea of confusion and hurt.
So, I did something I’d never done before. I went to a bar alone. The dim lights and low hum of conversation felt like a cocoon where I could hide from my reality. I ordered a drink. Then another. And another.
“Is this seat taken?” a smooth voice interrupted my thoughts.
I looked up to see a charming stranger with a warm smile. His name was Mark, and he had this easy confidence about him.
“I can’t,” he said, his voice breaking. “I don’t know how it got there! Is this why you’ve been so distant lately? Why didn’t you talk to me?”
“Because you would’ve denied it, just like you’re doing now!” I shot back.
Noah flinched. He looked at me, his eyes filled with so much pain, but then his expression hardened.
“So, this is your solution?” he gestured to Mark. “Instead of talking to me, you go out and hook up with the first Casanova you find?”
In the silence of our empty home, I reflected on everything that had happened. Trust and communication, I realized, were the foundations of any relationship. Without them, everything crumbles.
I sat down and wrote a letter to Noah, pouring my heart out. I apologized, begged for forgiveness, and promised to do better. I told him I loved him and that I understood if he needed time. But I hoped, someday, he could forgive me.
In seeking revenge, I had only punished myself the most. It was time to start making things right.
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