The night had everything I’d planned for: candlelight, wine, and the promise of a deeper connection. But when my colleague burst through the door with her kids in tow, the evening spiraled into a disaster I never expected and a truth I wasn’t prepared for.
The third date with Susan was supposed to be the charm. We’d met on Tinder — her profile was a perfect mix of witty banter and effortless beauty. After two great dates and a dreamy stroll in the park, I was ready to take things to the next level.
Couple on a date during sunset | Source: Pexels
That night, I picked a cozy Italian restaurant tucked away from the usual hustle. It was the perfect backdrop for soft candlelight and deep conversation over wine and pasta.
Susan arrived in a navy dress that hugged her figure just right, her hair cascading over her shoulders. She smiled, and I thought, Wow, this might actually be something.
The waiter had just set down a basket of fresh bread when the sound of the door swinging open grabbed my attention. At first, I ignored it. But then I heard a familiar voice.
Couple on a fancy dinner date | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, hey, Rob! Fancy seeing you here!”
I froze mid-reach for the breadstick. Standing at the entrance, unmistakably Linda from accounting. Her bright floral dress clashed with the scene, but that wasn’t the real problem. No, the real problem was the three kids clinging to her, each armed with loud, sticky energy.
“Linda?” I managed, blinking.
She marched over with her kids toward our table. “You didn’t tell me you were coming here tonight!” she said.
Mother and her children walking into a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
Susan’s confused glance darted between Linda and me. “Friend of yours?” she asked, her tone cautious.
“Colleague,” I corrected, a forced smile plastered on my face as Linda plopped her kids into chairs at our table.
“It’s packed tonight,” Linda said, casually stealing a breadstick. “I figured we’d join you. You don’t mind, do you?”
Oh, I minded. I really minded.
Linda had always been an enigma. A single mom of three — ages two, eight, and 12 — from two failed relationships, she was equally magnetic and intimidating.
Woman walking into a fancy restaurant with her three children | Source: Midjourney
Around the office, she commanded attention with her sharp intellect and striking beauty, though she kept everyone at arm’s length. I admired her resilience, devotion to her kids, and ability to balance chaos with grace.
But that admiration was from afar — strictly professional. Besides, a woman like Linda? She’s completely out of my league.
But tonight, as she slid into the booth beside me with her kids, her aura wasn’t awe-inspiring. It was suffocating.
“Linda, what are you doing here?” I stammered, my voice low, my eyes darting toward Susan, whose confusion had quickly hardened into annoyance.
Tense man talking to two women at a dinner table in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, don’t be silly,” Linda replied, casually placing her hand on mine. I instinctively pulled back. “You promised to watch the kids tonight, and here you are… having dinner with her?” She nodded toward Susan as if she were an unwelcome guest.
Susan’s mouth fell open. “Excuse me?” she said, her voice sharp.
Linda wasn’t fazed. “I mean, we’re a family.” She gestured to her children, now happily devouring the breadbasket. “The kids were so excited to see you tonight!”
“Linda, I never promised—”
Tense man talking to two women at a dinner table | Source: Midjourney
She cut me off. “Really, Rob? You’re going to pretend this isn’t a thing in front of her?”
“Pretend what’s a thing?” Susan demanded, standing now, her face a mix of disbelief and fury.
Linda shrugged, a smug grin spreading across her face. “I didn’t mean to ruin your date, Susan. But you should know the kind of man you’re seeing. He’s been leading me — and the kids — on for months.”
My heart stopped. “What? Linda, stop this!” I hissed, glancing around. Other diners were starting to notice.
Susan grabbed her purse. “You two clearly have… unfinished business,” she snapped, glaring at me like I was something stuck to her shoe. She turned on her heel and stormed out.
I stood to follow her, but Linda’s toddler, an adorable baby girl, clung to my leg.
The restaurant went silent.
Toddler smiling while sitting in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
I turned to Linda, my voice barely contained. “What are you doing? You just ruined my date!”
She didn’t even flinch. Instead, she leaned back in her chair, her toddler now happily munching on a breadstick. “You should thank me.”
“Thank you?” I mumbled, my anger rising. “For what? Publicly humiliating me?”
Linda calmly pulled out her phone, scrolling with deliberate precision. “No. For saving you.”
“Saving me?” I stared at her like she’d lost her mind.
Man with a confused expression | Source: Midjourney
She flipped the phone around, holding up an image. “Recognize this?”
I squinted at the screen. It was a grainy photo, but there was no mistaking the face.”That’s… Susan. Why are you showing me this?”
“This,” Linda said, zooming in on the photo, “is a mugshot.”
The words didn’t register at first. “A mugshot?”
Linda nodded, her expression grave. “My brother’s a cop. Last night, I stopped by the station to drop off some paperwork for him. While I was there, I noticed her face on the bulletin board. She’s wanted for fraud.”
“Fraud?” I echoed, my brain struggling to keep up.
Man with a confused expression during dinner | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah,” Linda continued. “She’s been conning men. Gets into relationships with them, gains their trust, and then scams them out of thousands. I didn’t put two and two together until I saw the picture you posted on Instagram before your date tonight. So, I called my brother, and — well, here we are. She’s probably being arrested as we speak.”
The room tilted, or maybe it was just me. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not,” she said, her tone softening. “Look, Rob, I know this was… a lot. But I couldn’t just stand by and let her take advantage of you. You’re a good guy. You don’t deserve that.”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. The anger drained from me, replaced by something else — disbelief, confusion, maybe even gratitude. “Why didn’t you just… tell me? Why the whole spectacle?”
Man with a confused expression having a conversation with his coworker | Source: Midjourney
Linda sighed, her gaze flickering toward her kids. “I tried calling you before your date, but you didn’t answer. And once I saw you here, I panicked. I didn’t want her slipping away. I did what I thought was best.”
I sat back, rubbing my temples as the weight of her words settled in. “So… you’re saying Susan is—”
“Gone,” Linda finished, her voice firm. “And you’re welcome.”
I stared at her, my emotions swirling into chaos. If she was telling the truth, then maybe she’d saved me from disaster. But the way she’d done it? I wasn’t sure I could forgive that.
Tense, confused man with arms crossed, talking to his coworker in a fancy restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The realization hit me like a freight train. Susan — charming, witty, and gorgeous — was a scam artist. And Linda, with her kids and bold, chaotic interruption, had just saved me from walking straight into a disaster.
The table fell silent, the air thick with unspoken tension. For a moment, I couldn’t look at Linda. My mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions — gratitude, embarrassment, and something else I couldn’t quite name.
Then her eldest broke the silence, kicking his legs under the table. “Are we getting pizza or what?”
I couldn’t help it — I laughed. A real, unfiltered laugh that seemed to cut through the tension in the room.
Man laughing while seated at a dinner table | Source: Midjourney
Linda smirked, leaning back in her chair. “You know, Rob, you should thank me right about now.”
I shook my head, half-amused, half-exasperated. “You’re unbelievable.”
She shrugged. “And yet, here you are. Not scammed out of your life savings.”
As I looked at her — tired but radiant, her kids clearly hanging on her every word — I felt something shift. Linda wasn’t just the brave, maddening woman who had bulldozed into my evening; she was something more. She’d saved me tonight, but she’d also shown me what I’d been too blind to see.
Man and woman in a fancy restaurant having dinner | Source: Midjourney
“Linda,” I began, my voice steadier than I expected, “can I buy you dinner? All of you.”
She blinked, clearly caught off guard. “You want to buy us dinner? After all this?”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing at the kids. “I think you’ve earned it. And honestly? I could use the company.”
Her oldest grinned. “I vote pizza!”
Linda studied me, her expression softening. Then she smiled — a real, genuine smile that made something stir in my chest. “Alright, Rob. But only if you’re buying dessert, too.”
“Deal,” I said, grinning.
Man and woman sharing a happy moment | Source: Midjourney
Two years later, Linda and I are still together. I’ve adopted her kids, and every day, they remind me what it means to love and be loved.
As for Linda? She still insists I should thank her for that night.
And every single day, I do.
Happy couple enjoying breakfast in their home | Source: Midjourney
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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