I thought my first pregnancy would be smooth mainly due to the support I expected from my husband. But when I needed his understanding about the struggles of being pregnant, he mansplained it to me, forcing me to teach him a valuable lesson!
I’m 30, seven months pregnant with my first child, and exhausted. Not just “I didn’t sleep well” tired. I mean can-barely-walk, lower-back-throbbing, sciatica-shooting-down-my-leg kind of exhausted. But my suffering meant nothing to my clueless husband.
A happy man | Source: Midjourney
You see, I was so tired. The kind where my body feels like a clunky shopping cart with one bad wheel, and the baby inside me has apparently mistaken my bladder for a kickboxing bag! Doug, my husband of four years, is 33. Works in tech. I work in HR.
We both pull long hours and up until this pregnancy, I thought we had a solid partnership. We’d always split chores, tag-team dinners, and supported each other’s goals.
But pregnancy changes things—physically, mentally, and emotionally. And for some reason, it also changed Doug.
A drained pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
Lately, every little thing I do feels like dragging a ten-pound weight behind me. I’m swelling and cramping to the point that my OB told me I should consider either working from home full-time or starting maternity leave early.
I took a few days to think about it, then decided to talk to my husband.
So one evening, during dinner—meatballs, roasted potatoes, and spaghetti I cooked—I told him we needed to talk.
A dinner plate | Source: Midjourney
“Babe,” I started, trying to keep my voice calm, “I’ve been thinking about maybe leaving work early to rest. Temporarily. My body’s just not handling this well, and the doctor—”
He didn’t even let me finish.
He scoffed, like, actually made a sound! Then he smirked and said, “You’re being dramatic. My mom worked until the day she gave birth to me.”
I blinked.
A surprised pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
He went on, “You’re just being lazy. Admit it, you don’t want to work anymore. This isn’t the 1800s. Women juggle jobs and pregnancies all the time. You’re using it as an excuse!”
Then the kicker: “Don’t expect me to pick up the slack financially just because you feel tired!”
I sat there in silence, my fork halfway to my mouth, spaghetti cooling on the utensil and the plate!
I wanted to scream! I wanted to argue my case, but instead, I forced a smile and said, “You’re right. I’ll push through.”
And just like that, a plan was born!
A pregnant woman mid-eating | Source: Midjourney
I was going to show this man exactly what “lazy” looks like, and what real work actually feels like!
I didn’t quit my job.
Nope!
Instead, I went to work every day for the next week while also waking up early to do everything around the house.
The next morning, I got up at 6 a.m. while he was still snoring. Cleaned the kitchen, prepped his lunch, scrubbed the bathroom floor on hands and knees (hello Braxton Hicks), and left for work like nothing had changed.
For the next six days, I became Superwoman!
A pregnant woman cleaning | Source: Midjourney
I’d wake up early and do every chore in the house—laundry, floors, dishes, garbage, organizing the pantry, dusting fan blades, and even alphabetizing our spice rack.
I went all out! I hand-washed his sweaty gym clothes and hung them in color order. I made fresh dinners nightly: grilled chicken piccata, lemon-garlic pasta, and even a homemade lasagna that nearly made me pass out from standing so long!
An enticing dinner plate | Source: Midjourney
Doug noticed, of course.
“Wow, you’ve got energy lately,” he said one night, chewing happily. “Told you it was all in your head!”
I smiled sweetly. “Just trying to be the strong woman you believe I am.”
He nodded proudly. “That’s the spirit!”
I almost choked on my salad.
But I wasn’t just exhausting myself for petty satisfaction. I was planning something bigger, something unforgettable.
I did something else my husband didn’t know about. I booked him a well-deserved “surprise!”
A pregnant woman thinking of a plan | Source: Midjourney
See, my OB had referred me to a doula and postpartum coach named Shannon. She’s this no-nonsense powerhouse of a woman who also runs intensive parenting workshops for soon-to-be dads. I asked if she’d be willing to help me out with a little… lesson.
Shannon grinned and said, “I live for this.”
Then I texted my college friend Maddie, whose twin boys were now three months old and in peak screech mode.
“I need a favor,” I told her. “One day. Total chaos. You in?”
My notoriously mischievous friend laughed. “Girl, I’ve been waiting for this moment!”
A woman laughing while sitting her twins | Source: Midjourney
I coordinated everything for the upcoming Friday. I figured at that point, my husband wouldn’t suspect anything as he’d relaxed into the idea that I would do everything around the house and still work.
That day, I told him I had a prenatal appointment and needed him to stay and work from home because “the water company and pest control are coming.” Of course, this wasn’t true.
I threw in, “They gave us a window between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m., so please don’t schedule calls.”
He rolled his eyes but said okay. “Guess I’ll babysit the dishwasher.”
He had no idea what was coming!
An unimpressed man | Source: Midjourney
Friday morning, I kissed him goodbye, handed him a carefully typed “to-do list” on floral stationery—”Be nice to the workers!”—and left the house.
At 9:15 a.m., Shannon rang the doorbell. Doug later confessed that he answered the door in pajama pants, holding coffee, thinking she was with the water company.
“Hi!” she said cheerily. “I’m here for your fatherhood simulation day!”
Doug blinked. “Wait, for what?”
Then, 75 minutes later, Maddie arrived, juggling diaper bags, bottles, and two babies already crying like fire alarms.
At this point, Doug texted me in a panic!
A panicked man texting | Source: Midjourney
Doug: “WHAT IS HAPPENING? There’s a woman here talking about diapers and sleep regression while making me swaddle a fake baby! There are also TWO REAL babies SCREAMING in the living room?!”
Me: “They made it! It’s your real-life dad simulation day! You’ve got this, champ 💪”
No response. For seven hours.
At 6 p.m., I walked into an apocalypse!
A pregnant woman arriving home | Source: Midjourney
One baby was wailing. Doug sat on the couch with a burp cloth over his shoulder and a haunted expression on his face. Shannon sat cross-legged on the rug, sipping chamomile tea like she was meditating through the chaos.
The smell hit me first—diapers and despair.
Doug stood up like Frankenstein’s monster. He looked like he hadn’t slept for three days! “They both pooped. Twice in a matter of hours. One projectile vomited on me! I didn’t eat! They took turns screaming! I think one of them is teething!”
A shocked man talking | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. “Weird. You said women can handle pregnancy and careers. You’ve had eight hours. No pregnancy. Plus help.”
He opened his mouth. Closed it again. Then just slumped back down on the couch like someone had unplugged him. He didn’t say anything but stared at a wall hauntingly.
But I wasn’t done.
Later that night, after Maddie left (with a mischievous wink and a “Call me if you need round two”), I handed Doug a wrapped box. Inside was a small scrapbook I’d titled “Things You Didn’t See.”
A wrapped box | Source: Midjourney
He looked confused but opened it slowly.
Inside were screenshots of texts I’d sent his mom over the last few months, asking for her advice, trying to keep her in the loop. There were photos of my swollen feet next to a vacuum cleaner, receipts from grocery runs, and notes I’d left for him wishing him luck on big meetings, little things he never noticed.
At the end was a sticky note:
“You think I’m lazy? You think I’m weak? I hope today showed you just how wrong you are.”
He stared at it for a long time.
An emotional man staring at a scrapbook | Source: Midjourney
Then he looked up at me, eyes red.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t get it. Not until today,” he said, apologizing profusely.
And for the first time in weeks, I felt like he really saw me.
I nodded. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
But this chapter wasn’t done yet.
Here’s where things get really wild!
A happy pregnant woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, he woke up early and made me pancakes. Real ones, fluffy, golden, with strawberries and whipped cream! Then he made a call I didn’t expect.
He called his mom.
“Hey,” he said. “I just wanted to say sorry. I used the story that you worked until the day I was born against Cindy, but… I shouldn’t have done that. I guess I used it as the standard for everyone, forgetting we are different.”
A man on a call | Source: Midjourney
“I can’t imagine what you went through working full-time while carrying me to term. I’ve seen what Cindy’s suffered through, so I am sorry you had to go through that, Mom.”
His mom paused, then said something I didn’t expect (he’d put her on loudspeaker for me to hear his apology and her response).
“Oh honey, that’s not true! I stopped working four months in! Your dad and I decided that I needed to rest. I just never told you because I didn’t want you to think I was less strong for thinking I’d stayed at home.”
A happy woman on a call | Source: Midjourney
Doug blinked.
“Wait, WHAT?”
I took a long sip of my tea and smiled. “Looks like you believed the wrong version of strength.”
He’s been different since then. More attentive. More understanding. He never uses the word “lazy” anymore!
And last night, as I waddled to bed, he kissed my forehead and whispered, “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
I didn’t say anything.
But I smiled.
Because sometimes, the best way to teach someone what strength looks like… is to let them live in your shoes—poop, puke, and all!
A happy pregnant woman | Source: Midjourney
Am I Wrong for Refusing to Keep Providing Free Childcare for My Stepdaughter?
All I ask is a few minutes of your time to hear my ordeal. Months after providing free childcare for my stepdaughter, I made a choice to refuse when things went too far. Now I need you to tell me — was I really wrong for not giving in to her bizarre demands and refusing to babysit her child?
Retirement was supposed to be my time to relax, travel, and maybe take up gardening. Instead, I became “Grandma Daycare,” a title I wore proudly. I’d retired when my first grandchild was born, and over the years, I’d babysat all five of my grandchildren, both from my kids and stepkids.
An older woman with her grandchild | Source: Pexels
“Grandma, tell us the story about the dancing bear again!” little Tommy would beg, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
“No, the princess one!” Lily would counter, climbing onto my lap.
Those moments made my heart swell. Their laughter was worth every second of exhaustion, even on the hardest days. It wasn’t always easy, but I loved it.
Whether it was finger painting, bedtime stories, or comforting a feverish toddler, I poured my heart and soul into caring for them. My days were busy but fulfilling.
A cheerful grandmother babysitting a toddler | Source: Midjourney
“You’re a miracle worker,” my son James once said, watching me juggle three kids while baking cookies. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Love,” I replied simply. “Love makes everything possible, dear.”
Alice, my stepdaughter, was the last one to have a baby. Her daughter, Ellie, was born when my schedule was already full. I watched my 18-month-old grandson Monday through Friday and handled the older kids during summer breaks.
I wasn’t sure I could take on another child, but I was open to helping where I could.
Unfortunately, Alice and her boyfriend, Sam, made that almost impossible.
A young couple | Source: Unsplash
Alice and Sam had always been a bit high-maintenance, but I wasn’t prepared for the three-page list they handed me when Alice was just ten weeks pregnant.
“We’ve put together some rules,” Alice said, her voice overly casual. “If you’re going to babysit my baby, you’ll need to agree to these.”
I skimmed the list, and my jaw nearly hit the floor.
“I can’t cook? I can’t have more than one other grandchild over? And what’s this about my cat? Muffin has to stay out of the baby’s rooms, even when your baby’s not here?” I looked at them incredulously. “This is… a lot.”
A shocked senior woman holding a piece of paper | Source: Midjourney
Sam folded his arms. “It’s for our baby’s safety.”
“Safety?” My voice rose. “I raised three children, helped raise two stepchildren, and have been caring for four grandchildren without a single incident. What exactly are you implying about my capabilities?”
“Times have changed, Ruby,” Sam said dismissively. “There are new studies, new recommendations —”
“New recommendations about cooking?” I interrupted, my hands trembling with anger. “About having siblings and cousins around? About cats that have been part of the family longer than you have?”
“Mom,” Alice pleaded, “we just want what’s best for our baby.”
A young woman looking frustrated | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sure you mean well,” I said, handing the list back, fighting to keep my voice steady, “but this won’t work for me. You’ll need to find other childcare.”
Their faces fell, but I stood my ground.
Months later, Alice called me in a panic. Her voice cracked with desperation. “Mom, our sitter canceled last minute. Can you watch Ellie tomorrow? Just for the day?”
I hesitated. “You know I won’t be following those rules, right? I’ll provide safe and appropriate care, but I won’t be micromanaged.”
Alice sighed. “That’s fine. We just really need help.”
That “one day” turned into four months. While Alice was somewhat tolerable, Sam was a nightmare. Every time he picked Ellie up, he’d make snide comments about Muffin, the number of kids I had over, or whether I’d cooked that day.
A senior woman holding a baby | Source: Midjourney
One afternoon, as I read to Ellie and her cousin, Sam arrived early.
“Well, well,” he sneered, “I see we’re breaking rules again. Two kids at once? How dangerous.”
I held Ellie closer, feeling her tiny fingers grip my shirt. “Sam, if you have concerns, we can discuss them like adults. But not in front of the children.”
He scoffed. “I guess we don’t have a choice but to put up with this for now.”
And the other day, he said, “I guess you’re happy you won, Ruby.”
An annoyed young man | Source: Midjourney
By Sunday nights, I’d started dreading the week ahead. The joy I once felt watching my grandkids was overshadowed by Sam’s constant negativity and Alice’s relentless questioning:
“Did the baby cry? Did you change her diaper twice? Did you feed her?”
I had raised kids on my own — did they really think I was new to this whole motherhood thing? Some days were worse than others, but I let it slide, chalking it up to them being “new parents” trying too hard to get everything right.
A heartbroken senior woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
Thanksgiving was the breaking point. I’d told Alice and Sam well in advance that I’d have all my grandkids over during the holiday break. But Sam wasn’t happy.
“This isn’t safe,” he said during one particularly tense pickup. “You can’t watch all those kids and take care of Ellie properly.”
“I’ve been doing this for years, Sam,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “All these children are family. They love each other, they look out for each other, and there’s nothing to worry about here.”
“That’s not good enough,” he interrupted. “Ellie needs individual attention. She needs —”
“Then make other arrangements,” I said calmly.
Of course, they didn’t.
An annoyed man holding a baby | Source: Midjourney
On the first day of Thanksgiving break, Sam picked Ellie up and made another snide comment, this time directly to her. “I’m sorry, my baby. I guess we have no choice but to leave you in an unsafe situation to be neglected.”
My heart shattered. Seven-month-old Ellie might not have understood the words, but I felt humiliated. Her lower lip trembled, and she began to cry.
“How dare you,” I whispered, my voice shaking with rage. “How dare you poison her against me? Against her family?”
I scooped Ellie up, soothing her tears while glaring at Sam. “You can criticize me all you want, but don’t you dare use this precious child as a weapon in your petty war.”
A senior woman having an emotional breakdown | Source: Midjourney
Sam opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off. “You may think you’re the expert at everything, but let me remind you — respect is earned, not demanded. And right now? You’re running on empty.”
Sam scoffed, crossing his arms. “Respect? You mean like the respect you show by ignoring our rules? Funny, because from where I’m standing, you’re the one who’s out of line.”
That was it.
I called Alice that night, my voice hoarse from holding back tears. “You have two weeks to find other childcare. And from now on, Sam is not welcome here. If he comes to pick Ellie up, I won’t watch her again.”
An angry woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, please,” Alice begged. “He didn’t mean —”
“He meant every word,” I cut her off. “And your silence makes you complicit. Two weeks, Alice. That’s final.”
Alice reluctantly agreed, and for a while, things improved. However, on New Year’s Day, I received several texts from friends with screenshots of a post that Sam had made on his social media page.
“Thankful we finally found someone safe to watch Ellie after dealing with a HORRIBLE babysitter,” the post read. He tagged me and added, “Some people just aren’t cut out for childcare.”
What hurt the most? Alice had liked the post.
A shocked senior woman staring at her phone | Source: Midjourney
I was LIVID. After months of free childcare, enduring Sam’s endless criticism and Alice’s never-ending demands, this was how they repaid me? I collapsed into my husband’s arms, sobbing.
“Thirty years,” I choked out. “I’ve been caring for children for 30 years. How can they say I’m not cut out for it?”
“They’re wrong,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “Everyone knows they’re wrong.”
I decided right then and there: I was done.
A few days later, Alice called again. “Mom, the daycare dropped Ellie. Can you start watching her again?”
An anxious young woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I took a deep breath, steadying myself against the kitchen counter. “I’m sorry for your situation, Alice, but I can’t do it. I don’t feel comfortable watching Ellie anymore.”
“Please, Mom,” she sobbed. “We don’t have anyone else. I might have to quit my job!”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before letting Sam publicly humiliate me. Before liking his cruel post.”
“That was stupid, I know,” she admitted. “I just… I felt trapped between you and him. Please, Mom. We’ll do anything.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. “But sometimes ‘anything’ comes too late.”
A sad woman engaged on a phonecall | Source: Midjourney
Later, I found out the truth. The daycare hadn’t dropped Ellie — her parents had left because they couldn’t afford it. Alice and Sam hadn’t realized daycare didn’t provide essentials like diapers, wipes, and formula. They’d assumed $350 a week covered everything. Sam had also been shocked to learn that one worker cared for five infants at a time.
Now, they were scrambling. Sam had to sell his dirt bike, and Alice sold all her designer handbags to afford their child’s daycare.
My husband and stepson think I should reconsider for Ellie’s sake. “Sam’s the problem,” they argue. “Why punish Alice and Ellie for his behavior?”
A distressed woman lost in deep thought | Source: Midjourney
One night, during a heated family dinner, my stepson took a jab at me. “If this were your own daughter’s child, you’d forgive and move on.”
The room fell silent. I set down my fork, hands trembling.
“How dare you,” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes. “How dare you suggest I love any of my grandchildren less than others. I’ve poured my heart and soul into this family for decades. I’ve loved your children as my own. But love doesn’t mean accepting abuse.”
“Mom’s right,” my daughter Sarah spoke up, her voice fierce. “You all saw how Sam treated her. How Alice enabled it. Would you let someone treat your mother that way?”
A furious woman crossing her arms | Source: Midjourney
My stepson’s words stung, but they weren’t true. I’d always treated my stepkids and biological kids equally. The difference was respect. My own kids and their spouses respected me. But Alice and Sam didn’t.
Ellie eventually returned to daycare, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I could finally enjoy my time with my other grandkids without Sam’s negativity hanging over me.
One morning, while watching my grandson paint, he looked up at me with serious eyes.
“Grandma,” he said, “why doesn’t cousin Ellie come anymore?”
My heart clenched. “Sometimes, sweetheart, grown-ups have disagreements that make it hard to be together. But that doesn’t mean we love Ellie any less.”
A little boy with curious eyes | Source: Midjourney
“I miss her,” he said.
“Me too, baby,” I whispered. “Me too.”
Alice and Sam are learning the hard way that free childcare isn’t a right — it’s a privilege.
So, am I wrong for refusing to keep watching Ellie? Maybe. But respect is a two-way street. If they can’t appreciate the help they’ve been given, they’ll have to figure it out themselves.
Last week, I saw Alice at the grocery store. She looked tired and stressed. Our eyes met across the produce section, and for a moment, I saw my little girl again — the one who used to run to me with skinned knees and broken hearts, trusting me to make everything better.
But I’m not that kind of bandage anymore. To all the Sams and Alices of the world: grandma isn’t a free nanny.
A determined senior woman | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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