My husband didn’t anticipate that I would defend our kids and myself when he offered me a terrifying ultimatum. I showed him that he was being unreasonable when we already had so much to be thankful for. He begged ME for pity as his ultimatum came to an end! I never imagined myself in this situation, but here I am, facing a decision. My spouse’s one demand put me in a tight spot and forced me to take extreme steps. But I had to take action because of that demand. Danny, my spouse, has consistently been a successful businessman and a loving father.
He works long hours at the workplace and has been a good provider for our family. I can now raise our five lovely girls while being a stay-at-home mother because of this. His aspirations to have a son “to carry on the family name” have, however, recently evolved into demands. And now those requests are transformed into threats!One evening after supper he stated, “Lisa, we NEED to have a sixth child.” He spoke in a somber, even icy tone. “We already have FIVE daughters, Danny. Do you want me to continue having children until we get a son? I answered, sensing the anxiety building. However, don’t kids bring you blessings? Is it really so difficult? His remarks hurt. Even though we’ve had this debate numerous times, something felt different this time. It had the air of an ultimatum. We kept going around in circles, neither of us ready to give up on our decisions. He threatened to consider DIVORCING me if I refused to have a son for him, that’s how bad our disagreement was! “Do you mean that if I didn’t give you a son, you would leave me?” My voice trembled as I asked. He murmured, “I didn’t say THAT,” and averted his gaze. However, the inference was evident.
If I didn’t do as HIS wishes dictated, he was open to the possibility of divorce. We said our goodbyes and headed our separate ways to get ready for bed after that. I lay awake that night thinking about our chat. How could he treat the life we’d created together with such contempt? All of our daughters are vibrant, individual, and extraordinary. I can’t think of our family in any other manner. I had to explain to him what he was requesting of me, of the two of us. Furthermore, what do you know? I thought of a clever method to SHOW him exactly what it means to raise five kids by yourself before I closed my eyes and went to sleep! I got up extra early the very next day, while everyone was still asleep. I drove to my late mother’s old country home after packing my bags.
I ignored all of his calls and texts and turned off the ringer on my phone. “The Drama That Unfolds When You Leave Your Husband at Home Alone with Five Children” is my favorite show of the day, so I settled in to watch it after making myself breakfast and a steaming cup of coffee. With the security cameras we had put at our house, I was able to see everything in real time. A RUDE awakening was in store for Danny! As soon as he was awake, he got ready for work. But when he heard the kids making a commotion, he put an end to his plans. He questioned our rascals, “Where’s your mother and why aren’t y’all dressed and ready for breakfast?” When my babies disregarded him and carried on playing and jumping on beds, it made me proud. My spouse called my name and searched for me before realizing I wasn’t at home. Then he began phoning me, and I saw the call go through. He became irate and exclaimed, “What the hell, Lisa,” before hanging up after the sixth missed call. He was unable to leave our small kids alone, thus he was unable to go to work. The first morning was a total bust and hilarious! When he attempted to prepare breakfast, he burned the toast and ruined the orange juice all over the place! The children were playing and without bothering to put on clothes. I was having a blast, and he was utterly overwhelmed!”Stop running, Emma!” Please put on your shoes, Jessica. I heard him yelling, his voice strained. “Daddy, this cereal doesn’t appeal to me.” Emily pushed her bowl away and whimpered. “So, what do you WANT?” he questioned, getting agitated. “I insist on pancakes!” she exclaimed. Danny massaged his temples and moaned. Alright, let me prepare pancakes. Feeling left out, little Jessica added, “I want cake and scrambled eggs!” Never one to be left out, Emma insisted, “Please, waffles and fresh cream!” I was positive that if his temples were hurting previously, they were now throbbing! The situation became worse during the course of the day! He attempted to assist them with their online coursework, but they were constantly getting sidetracked and leaving! He begged, “Jessica, please concentrate on your math homework.” “Daddy, I don’t understand it,” the girl exclaimed. He sat next to her and gazed at the TV. “All right, let’s work it out together.” In the middle of tending to the kids, a call from work arrived. Based on the discussion and Danny’s sincere apologies, it appeared that he had neglected to mark himself as absent for the day! My spouse was unable to determine what our kids preferred to eat for lunch.
They ultimately had a picnic with inane munchies as a result. “May we please have jelly and peanut butter?” Emma asked. He said, “I’m not sure we have any,” as he looked in the pantry. “Maybe just some jelly?” she proposed. Although watching Danny suffer in this way was heartbreaking, it was well worth the laughs! He appeared to be about to lose it, and the house was a complete mess with toys all over the place! He moaned, “Why is Play-Doh on the carpet?” Ask Emily, I’m not sure,” Jessica answered. Emily began enumerating all the reasons why she wasn’t the offender as soon as she heard her name! “I exclusively use blue and purple Play-Doh to play. I just walked a little bit on the carpet in one place; I wasn’t sitting on it. I. My spouse jokingly interrupted her before she could say anything further. “All right, Emily! Alright, I understand! Would you kindly take it down for Daddy? The girls decided to dress up in the evening, and Danny HAD to join in! They made him pretend to be a princess while donning a feather boa and tiara!”Daddy, you’re so beautiful!” Emily chuckled. He mumbled, “This is ridiculous,” yet he grinned at their happiness. My spouse appeared disoriented and really worn out. The very last straw was bedtime! They continued slinking out of their rooms, insisted on stories, and DEMANDED to go to bed! I was so proud!Emma pleaded, “Just one more story, Daddy.””Okay, but THEN it’s really time for bed,” he said, growing impatient. Danny was clearly on the edge of collapse by the end of the second day! He began pleading with me in his desperate messages to return and assist. He texted, “My angel, please, I can’t do this alone.” He even submitted a video of himself pleading for mercy while on his knees. “My dear, I apologize. Please return home. You are necessary to me. The fact that he recorded the video in our closed bathroom while the children DEMANDED he come outside and play added to the humor of the footage! I made up my mind to head home. Danny was the first person to come to me when I went in; he looked more relieved than I had ever seen! “I really apologize,” he said. “I will no longer put pressure on you to have a son.” He squeezed me till I was almost out of breath! He pledged, “I promise to spend more time with the family. I realize now how much you do.” I felt moved. “We can talk about the POSSIBILITY of having a sixth child if you genuinely promise to spend more time with us and help out more,” I added. He gave a forceful nod. “I swear, I swear,” Just just don’t ever leave me with kids alone for so long again! He fulfilled his word from that day on, and we both chuckled. He showed greater interest in our family and an appreciation for the labor-intensive nature of raising our current children. Positive changes started to occur in our life. In an effort to be more present, Danny started arriving home from work early and occasionally worked from home. He took on nighttime responsibilities, attended school functions, and assisted with homework! To the awe of our girls, my once-misled spouse even learned how to braid hair! “Observe, mother! My father braided my hair. One morning, Jessica smiled. “Darling, you did a great job,” I said. Danny gave me a gentle smile as we sat around the breakfast table one Saturday morning. He said, “I’ve been thinking.” Perhaps having a son isn’t the main reason. Maybe it has to do with appreciating our family. I returned the smile, a wave of warmth coursing through my chest. “Danny, that is all I have ever wanted.” We carried on having breakfast while chatting and laughing, the stress of the previous few weeks dissipating. We discovered true satisfaction during those carefree times spent with our girls. My spouse never again broached the subject of having a sixth kid after months had passed.
He had undergone a transformation, showing greater involvement and closeness to our family than before. He was loved by the girls, and there was laughing and happiness in our house.”Will you please attend my dance recital, Daddy?” One day Emily asked. Of course, my love. He said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And he fulfilled his word! Every school play, every soccer match, and every recital he attended. His renewed love and care allowed our daughters to grow and thrive. Danny held my hand one evening while we watched our daughters play in the backyard. “I’m grateful, Lisa,” he murmured. “For all the things.” Tears were starting to spring up in my eyes as I squeezed his fingers. “I appreciate your understanding,” I answered. Although our path wasn’t simple, it helped us get closer. My spouse gained an appreciation for his family. And I mustered the courage to defend our daughters as well as myself. We were more resilient than ever, equipped to handle any difficulties life presented. And I knew we had found our happily ever after as we sat there under the evening sun, watching our girls chase fireflies.
There’s One Method of Healing Trauma That Prince Harry Uses, and Here’s How to Practice It
Prince Harry recently opened up about his journey with post-traumatic stress disorder following the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. In a candid discussion, he revealed his exploration of a groundbreaking therapy that helped him.
The therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to address the debilitating effects of his anxiety attacks. This revelation offers a glimpse into the royal’s personal struggles and his proactive approach towards mental health care, shedding light on the significance of seeking innovative treatments of traumas.
In a video, Prince Harry can be seen undergoing EMDR therapy, where he taps his shoulders and moves his eyes rapidly. This therapy is relatively new and is used to treat PTSD. Prince Harry shared that he decided to try EMDR to deal with severe anxiety attacks he was experiencing.
Prince Harry mentioned that he was open to trying EMDR because of the therapy and work he had done over the years.
During a therapy session with UK-based psychotherapist Sanja Oakley, Prince Harry demonstrated how EMDR helped him feel better about returning home. He described feeling scared and helpless before, but the therapy helped him cope with those feelings.
Prince Harry’s openness about his experience with EMDR therapy sheds light on alternative treatments for post-traumatic disorder and mental health struggles. It shows that seeking help and trying different therapies can make a difference in managing mental health conditions.
EMDR is a therapy made in 1987 to help with emotional traumas. It’s a structured therapy where you think about a tough memory while moving your eyes back and forth. This helps lessen the strong feelings tied to the memory.
EMDR works on a theory called Adaptive Information Processing (AIP). It says that trauma sticks around because it hasn’t been dealt with properly. So, when something reminds you of the trauma, those memories can come back strongly.
Unlike other therapies that try to lessen your reaction to trauma, EMDR tries to change how your brain stores those tough memories. Sometimes, instead of eye movements, you might listen to alternating tones. Usually, EMDR happens once or twice a week for about six to 12 sessions. But it can vary depending on the person.
Benefits of EMDR therapy
- EMDR is a structured therapy and usually needs fewer sessions than ongoing therapies.
- You don’t have to keep going back to the tough memory for a long time.
- You don’t have to talk a lot about what happened to you.
- There’s no homework to do.
- EMDR doesn’t try to change your thoughts and beliefs.
Disadvantages of EMDR therapy
- While EMDR is known to help with PTSD, it hasn’t been studied as much for other mood or mental health problems.
- If you’re avoiding talking about a tough event, EMDR might not be the best choice. Other types of talk therapy might work better.
- EMDR can sometimes make you feel worse at the start of treatment. The person who created EMDR warns that this could be dangerous for people who have gone through really tough things.
The process of EMDR
EMDR is a structured process with eight phases, each aimed at helping you deal with traumatic memories:
- History taking: Discuss your past with the therapist to identify which memories to focus on.
- Preparation: Learn about EMDR and how the therapist will use bilateral stimulation.
- Assessment: Identify your negative and positive beliefs related to the trauma.
- Desensitization: Use bilateral stimulation while recalling the memory.
- Installation: Focus on positive beliefs while processing the memory.
- Body scan: Talk about how you feel emotionally and physically.
- Closure: Prepare for what may happen between sessions.
- Reevaluation: Assess your progress and decide if more sessions are needed.
As you go through EMDR, you may start feeling less overwhelmed by the trauma. It’s normal for other painful memories to surface, indicating that suppressed memories are being processed.
When grappling with deep emotional traumas, it’s crucial to seek out specialists who can provide the appropriate form of treatment tailored to your needs. Whether it’s EMDR therapy or other therapeutic approaches, finding the right professional can make a significant difference in your healing journey.
Preview photo credit Good Morning America / YouTube
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