At 37, I thought I could finally date in peace until my Mom crashed dinner with a list of rules… and somehow ended up on a date with my boyfriend.
I always knew I had a mom. But sometimes, it felt like my mom was my whole life. I was 37, but that didn’t stop her from asking me every single day:
“Are you wearing warm socks?” or “Are you sure he looked at you with respect and not… interest?”
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I worked in a museum, adored art history, lived in my own apartment, had a bank account, and had two degrees… Yet every time I saw “Mom calling” on my phone, I instinctively straightened my posture.
She controlled everything. From when I should go to bed to what color I painted my nails.
Once, I ordered salmon delivery, and 20 minutes later, she called.
“I saw him go into your house. Was that him?”
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“Mom, are you spying on my house?”
“I just sat in the car nearby. In case of suspicious movement.”
She had binoculars. And a notebook. She called it “just in case.”
As a child, it was cute. At 20, it got annoying. By 30, I began to question our “normal.”
At 37, I met Theo.
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For the first time in my life, I didn’t tell her right away.
It was my first grown-up secret. And, of course, it lasted exactly three days. Until Mom ruined everything.
But I’ll tell you that in a moment.
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***
I was preparing for my dinner with Theo. I baked a pie I found online, not from Mom’s sacred recipe book.
Even if it came out a bit burnt and the chicken was a little dry — those were my mistakes. My life.
I could already imagine my mother’s face if she saw the meal — a guaranteed explosion. I smiled quietly to myself while checking the candles.
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A week earlier, she declared, “I want to meet him. In person. At my house. At the table. With my questions.”
“Mom, let me be an adult for once. I’ll decide when to introduce you.”
She backed off for once. It felt odd, but I didn’t think much of it. Big mistake.
That night, Theo came over for the first time. He brought tulips, non-alcoholic wine (knowing I was tired after work), and a cake from the bakery I always visit during lunch.
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“I just wanted to get everything right,” he smiled, setting the plates.
“Theo, with you, it always feels right.”
Something warm and calm bloomed in my chest. We talked for hours. Laughed. Dreamed.
“Imagine… a little house by an old lighthouse,” he said.
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“And in the basement — an archive of old love letters.”
“You’d preserve them, and I’d write new ones.”
Candles were burning low. Music hummed softly. He touched my hand.
“I thought after all the heartbreaks, nothing would ever happen again. And then you came along…”
And at that exact moment…
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“ACHOO!”
From the closet. We froze.
“You’re not alone?” Theo shot me a look.
I got up. Opened the closet.
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“Mooom?!”
She sat in the dark. With a headlamp. And a thermos.
“What… what are you doing?!”
“Oh, hi! I was just checking if you’re storing things in your closet without lavender,” she mumbled, not even trying to sound convincing.
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“You broke into my apartment?!”
“I was just making sure. Listening. Evaluating. I didn’t interfere!”
Theo, somehow, still managed to smile politely.
“Good evening. I’m Theo. Very nice to meet you.”
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“Theo. Short. Like most male patients,” Mom said, sitting on the couch. “Sit. Let’s get to know each other.”
I wanted to run. But Theo sat down. Bravely.
And the interrogation began.
“Do you have a job?”
“Yes. I teach literature…”
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“Do you work 9 to 5?”
“Flexible hours.”
“So, no structure. Got it. Do you drink alcohol?”
“A glass of wine, sometimes…”
“Sometimes means regularly.”
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“Mom…”
“Quiet, Eliza. I’m asking.”
Then she turned back to him again, “How many women before my daughter?”
“I… excuse me?”
“Are you deaf?”
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“No, I just think that’s a bit…”
“You should always think. Before approaching a woman with serious intentions.”
Theo looked at me. As if to ask, “Is this a joke?”
I tried to say with my eyes, “No. This is my life.”
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Mom stood up. “Now, a test.”
“What?” we both said.
“Wipe the table. With a sponge. No streaks. If there’s even one mark — you’re not for her.”
“Mom, enough!”
I was desperate and angry. But to my greatest surprise…
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Theo stood up, went to the kitchen, found the sponge… and wiped. It was perfect. She checked the surface and ran her finger across.
“Hmm. Survived. For now.”
Then, Mom dramatically handed Theo a paper. He smiled while skimming it, then slowly, he frowned before handing it to me.
“I think I should go. I’ll call you.”
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He left. Just like that. I finally looked down at the letters she wrote in thick black marker.
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGTER
1. Have a job.
2. Understand I don’t like you.
3. I am EVERYWHERE.
4. You make HER cry — I make YOU cry.
5. Be home 30 min early.
6. SHE is my PRINCESS. Not your conquest.
7. I don’t mind going to jail.
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Daugter. With a typo. That said it all.
“Mom, it’s time for you to go.”
“Oh, sweetie, if he leaves at the first sign of trouble, is he even a man?”
“He didn’t leave me. He said he’d call.”
“Same thing.”
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“Maybe he just didn’t enjoy being around you?”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You crossed the line, Mom! Please, leave. I want to be alone.”
Mom’s words echoed in my head.
Has Theo really left… forever?
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***
Three days passed. No texts. No calls. I caved and sent him a short message:
“I’m sorry for how everything went. You didn’t deserve that.”
Seen. No reply.
And then — a knock at the door. I opened it, my heart racing. It was him and he was there with flowers.
“Come on. I’ve planned a date… for you and your Mom.”
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I blinked. “What?”
“Just trust me.”
We picked up my Mom. She barely got in the car before starting her usual commentary.
“Where are we going? I have to defrost the freezer!”
“Surprise,” Theo smiled.
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The first stop? His lecture.
Mom and I sat in the back. Theo stood in front of a class full of students, talking about love in literature.
“To be with someone doesn’t always feel poetic. But it’s always worth it.”
“Oh, I might fall asleep here,” Mom whispered.
“Mom. Shhh.”
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“If he’s trying to seduce us both with lectures — he failed.”
I gave her a look. But I held on. I knew this wasn’t all Theo had planned.
Next stop — a boat ride. On the lake, with a plaid blanket, strawberries, and tea in a thermos. (Yes, the exact tea Mom liked. He remembered.)
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“Yet another romantic coma,” Mom muttered, but this time, she was chuckling.
As we floated, Theo turned to her gently.
“So, Barbara. What are your hobbies?”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Hobbies? Suspicion. Avoiding scams. Crosswords when I can’t sleep.”
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“I bet you’re good at them.”
“I once found three typos in The New York Times. Sent them a letter. And you didn’t find one.”
“You planted that typo?”
“Of course, sweetie — it was a test for your Theo.”
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“A test? For spelling? Mom, he’s a university professor!”
“No, more like a test for politeness,” she smirked. “He passed.”
Then she leaned to move closer to the edge… and slipped.
SPLASH.
She fell right into the water. I gasped. Then, she laughed so hard I nearly joined her.
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“YOU LAUGHING? I COULD DROWN!”
Theo jumped in without hesitation. Swam straight to her, helped her out, and wrapped her in a blanket. Soaked, shivering, furious — but secretly touched. Back on land, she was about to stomp away.
“I need to go home. I’m done.”
Theo calmly said, “There’s a sports store nearby. Time for a wardrobe refresh.”
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He disappeared. Came back ten minutes later with two matching athletic outfits. One for me. One for Mom. She held hers suspiciously.
“How did you guess my size?”
“Easy. You’re built perfectly for a Medium. Athletic and classic.”
She smiled. Barely. Quietly. But I saw it. She loved attention.
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We changed. And then — the climbing wall.
“Last challenge, I promise,” Theo grinned. “Climbing wall. One climbs, the other keeps the rope. Trust exercise.”
“Oh no. I’m 60!”
“Exactly. Perfect age for adventure.”
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To my absolute shock, Mom went first. Halfway up, she shouted:
“THEO! IF I FALL — I’M HAUNTING YOU!”
She didn’t fall. She reached the top. And when she came down, her eyes were gleaming.
“Okay, professor. Not bad.”
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“To end the day,” Theo said, “I’d like to make you both dinner. My place.”
Mom looked at me. “I have no choice. I need to see where this man lives. Maybe I’ll discover his secret lair.”
***
Theo’s house was beautiful. Clean. Warm. It smelled like citrus and cedar. I’d never been there before. And I was stunned.
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“Did you buy this on a teacher’s salary or rob a bank?” Mom asked, peeking into the kitchen.
“Started saving in high school. Plus I teach online courses on the side. Hard work pays off.”
“Well, look at you,” she muttered. Then, louder, “Does the fridge clean itself, or are you just this weird?”
Theo just laughed.
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We sat on the terrace. Theo grilled steaks nearby while the sun dipped low. Mom leaned back. Actually relaxed.
“You know… he’s not so bad, honey.”
“Really? Wow. Mom, you’re on fire today.”
“I was too distrustful. Because your father left. And I didn’t want you to get burned like I did.”
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“But Mom, it’s my life. I need to make my own mistakes. Walk my own path.”
“Theo is wonderful. It’s obvious he loves you. I mean, he jumped in a lake to save his future mother-in-law.”
We both laughed.
“And he could’ve dropped me on that climbing wall. But he didn’t. That’s some nerve control.”
Theo joined us, carrying two plates.
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“Hungry?”
“Always,” Mom said.
“Even for this? Because I have one more course.”
Theo knelt on one knee.
“Eliza, these past three months have been the best of my life. You’ve brought color back into everything. And your mom… we’re friends now.”
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“Almost,” Mom added.
“Not even the rule list could scare me away. I want to share my home, my life… all of it. And yes, even see your mom — but no more than twice a week.”
He laughed. I gasped.
“Will you marry me?”
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I blinked. Heart racing.
“Sweetheart,” Mom nudged me. “I’d have said yes already.”
“YES. Of course — yes!”
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***
Mom changed.
She started Pilates, bought her first floral swimsuit, and we no longer lived in a co-dependent loop. We were separate but always family.
Finally, our coffee dates felt like chats between old friends.
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She told me about her fitness class. I told her how Theo’d forgotten to take out the trash and called it a “creative delay.”
I finally became myself. And I think — she also did.
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Man Digging In His Backyard Makes The Last Discovery He Ever Expected To Find
John Sims relocated to Tucson, Arizona in an attempt to lead a more sedate existence. It never occurred to him that it would turn into one of his life’s most memorable experiences. It all began when he was informed about a concerning rumor by the previous owner of his new house.
There was a rumor that there was something buried on the land. John began excavating in the backyard because he could not get the thought out of his head. He shuddered at what he found. Without a doubt, he did not sign up for this.
The home with the enigmatic backyard
John Sims was keen to acquire a house in midtown Tucson, Arizona, after learning about a friend’s sale. He knew he would be in good hands because the owner was one of his friends. However, after completing the paperwork, his acquaintance informed him of a property rumor.
The town’s elders say they think something intriguing was hidden away someplace in it. John might be able to unravel the puzzle, but his companion never was. In the end, John would find something that would make people throughout the state of Arizona very excited.
His curiosity overcame him.
John found himself recalling what his friend had said as he began to arrange his stuff in his new home. He was interested as much as curious. He soon became committed to discovering the mysteries around his new home.
John dug and proceeded to explore his property. After excavating the backyard in four separate locations, John was unable to find anything. Whatever it is, it must be beneath the bricks if he was unable to discover it beneath the grass.
X indicates the location
When John obtained access to local records, he discovered the documentation of his home’s construction. It revealed that an odd building named Whitaker Pools had been constructed in 1961. With confirmation now in hand that something was indeed buried on the land, John was even more driven to unravel the mystery.
He employed metal detector-wielding advisors to assist him in pinpointing the location. After arriving with the necessary equipment, a team searched John’s backyard. The metal detectors soon started to sound. John put a large X in the chalk at the locations of the two metal detector triggers.
striking a chord
Following the consultants’ dismissal, John eagerly picked up a shovel and began excavating. His shovel quickly made contact with something metallic. At last, he discovered something three feet beneath the grass. John chose to take a moment to reflect after making progress.
Could this have been a septic tank? What would happen if he managed to break or damage a pipe? He needed to be very careful. But the more precisely he dug, the more he felt that this was something different. He was going to unravel the riddle of his own backyard.
Getting the hatch open
Later on, John discovered what appeared to be a hatch’s opening. After bending over to remove some dirt, he pryed open the metal lid. John took care to avoid breathing in too much as there was a chance he would be exposed to harmful gas fumes or mold spores.
To allow any air from below to escape and allow fresh air to enter the building, John kept the lid open for almost a day. Additionally, he was aware that before entering the little area, the air needed to be checked for mold.
It wasn’t secure.
The following morning, John looked through the hatch. He discovered a spiral staircase that led below. John wasn’t that stupid, though most would have been so pleased that they would have started walking down right away.
He was more aware. He needed someone nearby as the captain of the Rural/Metro Fire Department in case the lid dropped back in. Now that he was home alone, there was no way he could remove the lid from below by himself.
Establishing a team
John was aware of all the dangers because of his extensive training and experience in rescuing individuals from confined areas. It was evident to him that the staircase was unstable and that venturing into the shaft alone would involve too many hazards.
John made the decision to start a team. To get some assistance, he invited several pals around. When it was safe enough to investigate what was inside the shaft, some of them may serve as spotters while others could assist him in carrying out the excavation.
Putting together a plan
The following day, the crew got together and sat down to create a blueprint. They also spoke on the best course of action. They repaired and strengthened the concrete framework around the steps as one of their initial actions.
In order to prevent any harm while they worked, they erected Sonotube cardboard around the entryway. John and his group labored to fasten the rebar inside the hatch and pour down layers of concrete.
It was laborious.
John had to cover the hatch with a tarpaulin to keep the team and the hatch safe. The heat in Arizona was beginning to get to be too much. They conjectured about what might be down there as they took breaks to escape the heat.
To locate the answers, there was much work ahead of us. In order to have adequate lighting within the shaft and to use power equipment when necessary, an electrical line had to be built. Additionally, a black pipe was put in to convey fresh air into the shaft.
figuring out how to get in
Their construction surrounding the structure was finally completed. Another obstacle was the spiral staircase, though. It was impossible to tell if the steps could support any weight because they were so rusted. Without going up the steps, they had to find another way inside.
John had to gently down the ladder that the team was using, being cautious not to cut himself on the rusty stairs. John was giddy with anticipation. He was going to be the one to crack the code first. The time he had been waiting for had finally arrived.
There was unfinished business.
John was relieved to learn they did not need to dig any further after reaching the bottom. However, there was still more to be done. The fiberglass covering the tunnel ceilings was deteriorating gradually. This implied that the building was still not safe.
When John thoroughly looked around, he was astounded to find that the building was largely intact despite almost fifty years of abandonment. Though it was empty at the time, it was later discovered to be John’s nuclear bomb bunker in his backyard!
Beginning during the Cold War
Everything became sense at once. When there was a threat of all-out nuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union during the Cold War, the shelter was constructed. At that time, Whitaker Pools expanded their business to include bomb shelters.
In actuality, bomb shelters were present on a number of properties in the Tucson region. It was the most a responsible family man could do in those days to ensure his loved ones’ safety in the event of a nuclear war.
The past of Tucson
It turns out that bombs and Tucson have a long history together. With eighteen ballistic missiles that could transcend continents and wipe out an area of 900 square miles, Tucson was once known as the “rocket town.”
The government maintained the missile silos top secret, and nearly all of the missiles had been rendered inoperable by the end of the Cold War. In the early 1980s, the majority of nuclear shelters were either locked or destroyed.
gaining popularity
John soon gained popularity on Reddit after sharing his discovery from his backyard. Within hours, hundreds of people had commented on the post. TV programs and local newspapers began contacting to arrange interviews regarding it.
Even foreign publications like the Daily Mail carried the story. Japan has also heard of John’s story. Definitely a significant discovery. Residents in Tucson also began to worry if they had one in their backyard.
What comes next?
John was able to establish connections with local residents who had fallout shelters thanks to the attention he received. He had the opportunity to inquire about their cleaning process and obtain suggestions from them on its future use.
John intends to create a Cold War museum, but the majority of individuals converted theirs into man caves or wine cellars. John began gathering artifacts such as Geiger counters, water supply barrels, HAM radios, and sanitation kits after doing extensive research on the Cold War era.
His reflections on his discovery
In an interview, John said, “I was really hoping it was going to be a little microcosm… a time capsule full of radiation detectors, cots, and civil defense boxes and stuff like that.” Sadly, there was not even any furniture in the bomb bunker.
John also mentioned how much reading he had been doing on the Cold War. He thinks that the main reason Tucson people built bomb shelters in their backyards in the 1960s was likely the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Recommendations for citizens of Tucson
John advises residents of Tucson who are interested in finding out if their backyard contains a bomb shelter to search City of Tucson or Pima County data. The building permits will most likely contain the information.
When someone discovers a bomb shelter in the yard, John also cautions everyone against jumping in too soon. John went on to say that it’s usually not a good idea to jump into holes in the earth since anyone can get instantly incapacitated by the toxic air in a tunnel or a cave-in.
Requesting financial assistance
John is fully planning to renovate the bomb shelter. However, he lacked that amount of cash. To raise money to refurbish his 1960s bomb shelter, he created a GoFundMe page. He intended to renovate the entrance and do inside renovations as well.
Replacing the stairs to enable safe access was one of John’s top concerns. John was only able to accomplish so with the money he was able to gather, and he and the remodeling team may now enter and exit the building safely.
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