
When I noticed my wife drawing strange tally marks on her hand, I shrugged it off as a quirky habit. But as those marks multiplied and her answers remained cryptic, I realized something much darker was lurking beneath the surface of our seemingly happy marriage.
“Married life is great, right?” I would say to my friends when they asked. And for the most part, it was. We’d only been married for a few months, and I was still getting used to being a husband. My wife, Sarah, was always so organized, so thoughtful. She had a way of making everything seem effortless.
But then, something changed. I started noticing a strange habit of hers. One day, she pulled a pen out of her purse and made a small tally mark on the back of her hand. I didn’t think much of it at first.
“Did you just mark your hand?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She smiled and shrugged. “Just a reminder.”
“A reminder for what?” I laughed, thinking it was a joke. But she didn’t answer. She just changed the subject.
Over the next few weeks, she did it more and more. Some days, there’d be only one or two marks. Other days, five or more. Then there’d be days with nothing at all. It seemed random, but it bothered me. What was she keeping track of?
The more I noticed, the more I started to worry. It was like she was keeping a secret from me, and that secret was slowly eating away at our happiness.
One night, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Sarah, what’s with the tally marks?” I asked as we were getting ready for bed. “You do it all the time now.”
She glanced at the marks on her hand, then looked at me with that same mysterious smile. “It helps me remember things, that’s all.”
“Remember what?” I pressed.
“It’s just… things,” she said, brushing me off like it was nothing. “Don’t worry about it.”
But I did worry. A lot. I started paying closer attention. She’d mark her hand after dinner. After we argued. After we watched a movie. There was no pattern I could see.
One evening, I counted the marks on her hand: seven. That night, I watched as she transferred them into a small notebook by her bedside table. She didn’t know I was watching.
I decided to check her notebook the next morning. I waited until she was in the shower, then flipped through the pages. Each page had rows and rows of tally marks. I counted them—68 in total.
I sat on the bed, staring at the notebook in my hands. What did this number mean? What was she counting?
I tried asking her again a few days later.
“Sarah, please tell me what those marks are for. It’s driving me crazy.”
She sighed, clearly annoyed. “I told you. It’s just something I do. It helps me remember.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” I snapped. “What are you remembering? Are you keeping track of something? Someone?”
“Just drop it, okay?” she said, her voice sharp. She looked at me, her eyes pleading. “Please, just let it go.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The marks started to feel like a wall between us. Every time I saw her make a new one, it was like she was putting up another brick, shutting me out.
I became obsessed with the number 68. What was so important about it? I noticed I was being more careful around her, almost like I was afraid to give her a reason to add another mark. But then the marks would still appear, no matter what I did.
One night, after another tense conversation, I watched her add four new marks to her hand. I needed to know what was happening. I needed to figure this out before it drove me mad. But I had no idea how to get the truth out of her. And that scared me more than anything.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that our entire marriage was on the line, and I was helpless to stop whatever was happening between us. I left for several days to see if it changed anything. Well, the tally count has increased to 78 by the time I returned.
The obsession with Sarah’s tally marks was eating me alive. I needed a break from it, but everywhere I looked, I saw her hand with those little black lines, like they were taunting me. So, when Sarah suggested we visit her mother, I thought it would be a good distraction.
Her mother, Diane, and her fifth husband, Jake, lived in a cozy house in the suburbs. It was a typical Saturday afternoon visit: tea, cookies, and small talk. Sarah and her mom were in the kitchen, chatting and laughing. I excused myself to use the bathroom.
As I passed by the guest bedroom, something caught my eye. There, on the nightstand, was a notebook. It looked just like the one Sarah kept by her bed. I hesitated, but curiosity got the better of me. I stepped inside, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching.
I opened the notebook, my hands trembling. Inside, there were pages filled with tally marks, just like Sarah’s. But there was more. Next to the marks were labels: “interrupting,” “raising voice,” “forgetting to call.” Each tally had a label, like it was keeping track of mistakes.
“What the hell is this?” I muttered under my breath.
I felt a chill run down my spine. Was this some kind of family tradition? Was Sarah’s mom counting her own mistakes? Were they both holding themselves to these impossible standards?
I closed the notebook and returned to the living room, trying to act normal, but my mind was spinning. Sarah noticed my unease.
“You okay?” she asked, concern in her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. “Just thinking about work.”
We stayed for another hour, but I was barely present. My thoughts kept drifting back to that.
On the drive home, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Sarah, I need to ask you something,” I said, gripping the steering wheel.
She looked at me, puzzled. “What’s up?”
“I saw your mom’s notebook today. It looked a lot like yours. Is this something you both do? Are you counting your mistakes? You don’t have to be perfect, you know. You don’t need to keep track of every little thing.”
There was a moment of silence, then she let out a bitter laugh.
“You think I’m counting my mistakes?”
“Well, yeah,” I said, relieved she was finally opening up. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay to mess up sometimes.”
She shook her head, staring out the window. “I’m not counting my mistakes, Jack. I’m counting yours.”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut. “What?”
“Every time you break one of your vows, I make a mark,” she said quietly. “When you interrupt me, when you don’t listen, when you say you’ll do something and don’t. I’ve been keeping track since our wedding.”
On our wedding day, I promised Sarah the world in my vows. I vowed never to lie, to always listen without interrupting, and to be there every time she needed me, no matter what. It was a long list of grand, heartfelt promises that sounded perfect in the moment, but looking back, they were almost impossible to keep.
I felt the blood drain from my face. “You’re counting my mistakes? Why?”
“Because I want to know when I’ve had enough,” she said, her voice breaking. “When you reach 1,000 marks, I’m leaving.”
I pulled the car over, my heart pounding. “You’re going to leave me? For breaking some stupid promises?”
“They’re not stupid promises,” she snapped. “They’re our wedding vows, Jack. You made them to me, and you’ve broken every single one.”
I stared at her, stunned. How had we gotten here? How had I missed this? I’d thought she was being hard on herself, but I was the one who’d been careless, dismissive. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn’t. I was too shocked, too hurt.
When we got home, I couldn’t sleep. I called Diane, desperate for answers.
“Sarah told me what she’s doing,” I said. “Why didn’t you stop her?”
Diane sighed. “I did the same thing with my past husbands. I thought it would help, but it just drove us apart. It ruined my marriages.”
“Then why let her—”
“I tried to tell her,” she interrupted gently. “But she needs to see it for herself. I count good days now, Jack. Good things my husband does. It changed everything.”
I hung up, feeling more lost than ever. I could only hope that my mother-in-law’s words fell on fertile ground.
That evening, Sarah came home with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around me. “I didn’t realize how much this was hurting us.”
I held her close, feeling a mix of relief and hope. “Let’s forget the tally marks,” I said softly. “Let’s start fresh.”
The next day, I bought a new notebook—one for us to fill with good memories and happy moments. We made our first entry that night, writing about a quiet dinner we shared, laughing and talking like we hadn’t in months.
As we moved forward, the notebook became a symbol of our promise to focus on the positives and grow together. The tally marks were gone, replaced by stories of joy, love, and gratitude. We were finally on the same page, and it felt like the beginning of something beautiful.
Trace Adkins Reflects on Toby Keith’s Patriotic Legacy, Delivering an Emotional Rendition of ‘American Soldier’

Adkins said, quoting Keith, “Never apologize for being patriotic,” from the platform.

On July 29, 2024, in Nashville, Tennessee, Trace Adkins takes the stage at Bridgestone Arena. Image courtesy of Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images for Universal Music Group
In the two-hour NBC program Toby Keith: American Icon, Trace Adkins paid a moving homage to Toby Keith, recalling their many years of traveling together and the significant influence Keith had via his patriotism.
Adkins was one of the few artists that really know Toby Keith and the man behind the scenes, having been friends with Keith for many years and going on tours with. Adkins paused to remember the poignant message that Keith conveyed at the conclusion of each of his live performances before giving an incredibly emotional and beautiful rendition of “American Solider” in honor of Keith and his dedication to the military.

“I’ve known Toby for a very long time, and we did a lot of gigs together while on multiple tours together. I seem to recall that at the end of each performance he gave, he would always say, “Never apologize for being patriotic.” Every night, he said that, Adkins noted. And since, my God, he really did believe that, I realized while he was saying it that it was both a challenge to the rest of us and a window into Toby Keith’s personality.
Keith lived what he preached, and Adkins praised him for it. Keith had undertaken 11 USO Tours, performing in front of 256,000 soldiers and military families in 18 nations at over 285 engagements.
“He had a deep-rooted love and respect for the men and women who have served this country.” It was real, authentic, and meaningful. With a rich, baritone voice, he remarked, “I always respected him so much for that.” “Toby is someone I could talk about all night, but for now I’ll just say that I’m glad I got to know him and call him a friend. We miss you, Toby. Thank you.
Trace Adkins performed “American Solider” in a terrifying manner a short while later. On the screen behind him, pictures of Toby Keith and his numerous USO Tours displayed during his performance. Toby Keith: American Icon gave a truly remarkable performance, and it was undoubtedly an emotional time.

Written by Keith and Chuck Cannon, “American Solider” was published in November 2003. It can be found on the album Hi Shock’n Y’all and has an RIAA Platinum certification.
Among the many famous country musicians that gave their all to pay tribute to the late Toby Keith was Trace Adkins. Priscilla Block, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Jordan Davis, Scotty Emerick, Brett Favre, Brantley Gilbert, Riley Green, HARDY, Tyler Hubbard, Jamey Johnson, Krystal Keith, Ella Langley, Mac McAnally, Ashley McBryde, Parker McCollum, Leanne Morgan, Darius Rucker, Carrie Underwood, Clay Walker, and Lainey Wilson were among the performers and special guests on the two-hour special.

The special featured a variety of musical performances that showcased Keith’s amazing songwriting and music, but it also emphasized his kindness and generosity by supporting The Toby Keith Foundation’s OK Kids Korral and Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt. Families from both groups seemed to tell the stories of how they were helped and supported when things were really hard.
NBC broadcast Toby Keith: American Icon on Wednesday, August 28 at 9 p.m. ET/PT. The next day, Peacock will offer the episode for streaming.
On February 5, 2024, the legendary country music performer Toby Keith departed from this life due to stomach cancer. He had an astounding 32 No. 1 hits over his career and sold an astounding 40 million albums.

Given that he has achieved a chart-topping hit for 20 years running, including “How Do You Like Me Now?!,” “Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue (The Angry American),” “I Love This Bar,” “Beer For My Horses,” and “As Good As I Once Was,” it should come as no surprise that he is considered one of country music’s biggest hitmakers.
In addition to being inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame (after being admitted into the all-genre Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2015), he has been awarded the National Medal of Arts and the prestigious Merle Haggard Spirit Award by the Academy of Country Music.

The Oklahoma native won three BMI Country Songwriter of the Year awards over his career in addition to the BMI Icon Award. In 2006, his popular song “As Good As I Once Was” won BMI’s Country Song of the Year.
To date, Toby Keith’s music has received 100 million terrestrial radio spins and over 10 billion streaming.
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