Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Dad With 240 Tattoos Faces Backlash As People Think He Is A Horrible Father – Then His Wife Reveals The Truth
Don’t judge a book by its cover is an old saying, but it never hurts to be reminded of it.
If a parent does not fit the usual mold of a parent, judging them simply on their appearance might be very unjust.
The tattoos on his face led others to accuse him of being a horrible father. His wife then revealed some unexpected information, which shocked everyone. Read on to find out more…
One of the pillars of individuality is self-expression. Since they allow people to express themselves visually, tattoos are a fantastic way of self-expression.
Richard Huff, 51, has over 240 tattoos on his body and utilizes them as a means of self-expression.
The ink junkie is raising five kids with his wife. To the dismay of the internet at large, his wife routinely posts on social media with him and his kids in it.
The 51-year-old Huff wants people to know that his family is “no different” from any other. But he has admitted that complete strangers regularly ridicule him online because of his appearance.
He described his beginnings. “It became an addiction, I started with my legs and worked my way up,” Huff said.
He said that 85 percent of his body was now covered in tattoos. Among his tattoos are the lips of his daughter and their names.
“I want to be 100% covered in tattoos probably within the next four years,” shared Richard. “I don’t know if it’s the pain or the artwork that you put on you, but it just becomes fascinating when you’re able to do this.”
He claimed that having so many tattoos had its own difficulties. He admitted that the kids at his kids’ school thought he was scary.
In her own words, his daughter has said, “They say, ’ah it’s a bit scary’ and I say ’no, my dad is not scary, he is good with tattoos.’”
Marita, Richard’s wife, admitted that she, too, was terrified of him. She admitted, “I did judge Richard based on his looks at first but as I got to know him a little bit, he is actually a big-hearted person.”
She frequently writes in her blog posts about how much her husband adores her. She continuously praises his qualities, calling him a devoted husband and loving father.
Marita has revealed to others that Richard is much more than a true father to his three children from previous marriages.
Richard said when questioned about his neighbourhood participation, “I participate in the PTA, I go to all my kids’ functions.”
Despite the fact that his kindness is well known, many still criticise him. One user commented on his facial tattoos and said, “I’m not against tattoos, but I mean honestly, does he really need tattoos on his face like that?”
However, Richard is not the only one who has supporters. “Everyone keeps talking about his face tattoo. He likes it. He got it. He’s a good father. Let him be.”
Richard responded to the critique by saying, “If somebody can make negative comments like that, there’s something wrong with them themselves that they would have to judge somebody else.” Adding, “This is what we did and we’re happy. We’ve been together six years our kids are happy and to us, that’s all that matters.”
Richard goes on to remark that no matter how much his family despises him or how much he despises them, he still loves them.. “Having tattoos does not scare my children, it does not make me a bad father, it makes my kids get a different perspective on life,” he said.
Some people find it hard to believe this is the same person after seeing him without all the tattoos!
Richard Huff appears to be a nice husband and father who is greatly loved by his family.
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