Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Former child star, Amanda Bynes spotted out and about with new unrecognizable look
The past few years have not been easy for Amanda Bynes. The former child actress has completely given up on her Hollywood career after experiencing several crises connected to her mental health.
She has since debuted a fresh appearance that has truly taken folks by surprise.
Amanda Bynes used to be one of the most recognizable young people on the globe. But when her battle with mental illness began to worsen, the budding young star ceased making appearances on television and in movies.
The actress has recently been transparent about her struggles with substance misuse. She described her life after acting as “just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting,” adding, “I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me.”
At the time, Bynes said, “I’ve been sober for almost four years now,” and she gave her parents credit for “really helping me get back on track.”
Lynn and Rick Bynes, her parents, agreed with her decision to end her conservatorship. Since 2013, the former child actress has been under conservatorship. In 2017, her guardianship of the property ended.
In a statement provided by her lawyer David Esquibias on March 22, 2022, Bynes stated, “I have been working hard to improve my health so that I can live and work independently, and I will continue to prioritize my well-being in this next chapter.” Regarding taking back control of her life, the actress stated, “I am excited about my upcoming endeavors — including my fragrance line — and look forward to sharing more when I can.”
Judge Roger L. Lund of the Ventura Superior Court ruled to dissolve the conservatorship, stating that there were no longer “grounds for establishment of a conservatorship of the person.”
For up-to-date photos of the former child star, continue reading.
However, things kind of fell apart last year. The actress called emergency services herself and was put on a 72-hour psychiatric detention. “She hasn’t been in contact with her family for quite some time,” according to a source who was close to the situation at the time.
On March 19, the actress was spotted strolling around Los Angeles’ streets nude. In order to receive assistance, she then flagged down a passing car and dialed 911 for herself.
The actress reportedly explained to the driver that she had been recovering from a mental episode. After that, she was brought to the local police station, where staff members decided she needed to be placed under a 5150 mental hold.
The actress hasn’t made headlines since the 2023 episode until now. It appears that Amanda Bynes has changed, as seen by recent images of her.
The 38-year-old former child star, who had jet black hair and incredibly long nails, was spotted last week.
She had on khaki shorts and an oversized gray t-shirt. She accessorized her ensemble by wearing a crossbody purse on her shoulder.
The former actress, who cut her hair late last year because she was unhappy with how it was “growing out so awkwardly,” announced in March of this year that she was “going to start wearing wigs now.”
She has already discussed how her unhappiness this year caused her to acquire a lot of weight, and she is hoping to reduce more than 50 pounds in order to reach her desired weight goal.
However, other people were offended by the image and the hurtful remarks. “This should never have made it onto the Internet,” one individual commented. This woman is experiencing a severe crisis related to her mental health. You deserve so much humiliation. Give her space.
Another supported Bynes by saying, “My heart hurts for her.” Another person had a similar feeling, writing, “Please stop posting Amanda; she’s had enough scrutiny and hurt in her life. I wish the internet would leave her alone.” She has endured enough suffering.
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