Wife: Honey, would you mind clearing the garden for me?
Spouse: Do I appear to be a landscaper?
SLAZY PARTNER! (HAHA STORY)
Spouse: I’m sorry, sweetie. So, how about we take care of the bathroom door?
Spouse: Do I appear to be a carpenter?
The spouse leaves the tasks unfinished when he leaves. Later, he comes back to find the bathroom door mended and the lawn well-kept.
Wife: I knew she would take care of things on her own!
Wife: I wasn’t the one responsible.
Wife: Honestly? Who then carried it out?
Wife: The woman next door.
Spouse: What was the amount you gave him?
Wife: He had no desire for money. I have two choices from him now: bread or sex.
Spouse: I hope you fed him some bread!
Wife: Do I appear to be from a bakery?
The Young Man Gets Married
A youthful groom embarked on the journey of matrimony.
His mother, advanced in years, resided under his roof. One evening, as they gathered for supper, his wife abruptly excused herself, retiring to their chamber. Observing her departure, the elder woman advised: “Son, tend to her well. Ensure she does not endure hunger. Look after your wife”.
Concerned for his beloved, he sought her out. “My dear, are you unwell? Why dine alone?” he inquired. She hesitated: “I cannot. The sight of your mother’s hands… it unsettles me”.
Wrinkled and weathered, those hands bore the weight of untold sacrifices. Yet, to his wife, they were a source of discomfort. “What would you propose?” he inquired. She suggested: “Perhaps a nursing home would be best”. Assuring her, he vowed: “Fear not, my love. Tomorrow, we shall resolve this. But first, we must honor our invitation to your parents’ abode. Upon our return, I shall arrange for my mother’s care”.
The following day, accompanied by his wife and mother, they visited her family. Noticeably absent from the table was his mother. Sensing his unease, his wife assured: “She dines alone, in another room”.
Perplexed, he inquired: “Did you instruct her to seclude herself?” She affirmed: “Indeed”.
As the meal commenced, the father-in-law broached the delicate topic. “Son-in-law, our daughter’s happiness is paramount. She deserves a home solely with you. Resolve this matter regarding your mother”, he urged.
Reassuring them, he pledged: “Rest assured, we shall address it today”.
Despite the spread before him, he abstained. “Why do you not partake?” queried the father-in-law. With conviction, he declared: “I cannot. Your hands… they taint my appetite. They mirror your hearts!” His wife was taken aback.
Rising from the table, he sought out his mother, kneeling beside her. Tears streaming, he kissed her hands, imploring: “Come, mother, let us depart”.
Perplexed, she questioned: “But, son, where are we bound?” Overwhelmed, he simply wept. Loading her into the car, he whispered: “To Paradise, mother… to Paradise! Lead me to Paradise, if you are content with me”.
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