According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I’m Raising My Twin Grandsons Alone After Their Mom Passed — One Day, a Woman Knocked on My Door with a Terrible Secret
A knock at the door was the last thing I expected that evening. But when a stranger handed me a letter from my late daughter, it unraveled a secret so profound it changed everything I thought I knew about my family.
I never thought my life would turn out this way. At 62, I imagined mornings filled with quiet coffee rituals, tending to my small garden, and maybe the occasional book club meeting with the ladies down the street.
A closeup shot of a senior woman smiling while standing in her home garden | Source: Midjourney
Instead, I wake up to the pitter-patter of tiny feet, the smell of spilled cereal, and Jack and Liam hollering about who gets the blue spoon. They’re five—sweet and chaotic all at once—and they’re my grandsons.
Their mother, my daughter Emily, passed away last year in a car accident. She was just thirty-four. Losing her felt like losing the air in my lungs. She wasn’t just my child; she was my best friend.
A closeup shot of a woman laying flowers on a tombstone | Source: Pexels
The twin boys… they’re all I have left of her. Every time I look at them, I see Emily’s bright eyes and mischievous smile. It’s bittersweet, but it’s what keeps me going.
Life as their grandmother-slash-mom isn’t easy. The days are long, and the nights feel even longer when one of them has a nightmare or insists the closet monster moved.
“Grandma!” Liam wailed just last week. “Jack says I’m gonna get eaten first ’cause I’m smaller!”
I had to stifle a laugh as I reassured them that no monster would dare step foot in a house with me in charge.
A senior woman laughing | Source: Midjourney
Still, some moments break me. Keeping up with their boundless energy, school projects, and endless questions, like why the sky is blue or why they can’t have ice cream for breakfast can be exhausting at times. Some nights, after they’ve finally fallen asleep, I sit on the couch with Emily’s photo and whisper, “Am I doing this right? Are they okay?”
But nothing, not the sleepless nights, not the tantrums, not even the crushing loneliness, could have prepared me for the knock on the door that evening.
A closeup shot of a woman holding a door knocker | Source: Pexels
It was just after dinner. Jack and Liam were sprawled out in front of the TV, giggling at some cartoon I didn’t understand, while I folded their laundry in the dining room. When the doorbell rang, I froze. I wasn’t expecting anyone. My neighbor, Mrs. Cartwright, usually called before stopping by, and I hadn’t ordered anything online.
I opened the door cautiously. The woman standing there wasn’t familiar. She looked to be in her late thirties, her blond hair pulled back into a messy bun, her eyes red-rimmed like she’d been crying for days.
A blonde-haired woman with tired eyes standing on a doorway | Source: Midjourney
She clutched a small envelope in her hands, trembling as if it weighed more than it should.
“Are you Mrs. Harper?” she asked, her voice quiet and unsteady.
I tightened my grip on the doorframe. “Yes. Can I help you?”
She hesitated, glancing behind me at the sound of Jack squealing over a joke Liam told. “I… I’m Rachel. I need to talk to you. It’s about Emily.”
My heart stopped. Nobody talked about Emily anymore, not without treading carefully, like they were afraid I might shatter.
A surprised senior woman standing in her doorway | Source: Midjourney
And yet here was this stranger, saying her name like a bomb she couldn’t hold any longer. I felt my throat tighten. “What about Emily?”
“It’s not something I can explain here.” Her voice cracked. “Please… may I come in?”
Every instinct screamed at me to shut the door. But there was something in her eyes—desperation mixed with fear—that made me reconsider. Against my better judgment, I stepped aside. “Alright. Come in.”
A blonde-haired woman looking desperate and sad while standing outside a house | Source: Midjourney
Rachel followed me into the living room. The boys barely glanced her way, too engrossed in their cartoon. I gestured for her to sit, but she remained standing, clutching that envelope like it might explode.
Finally, she thrust the envelope toward me. “Give me the boys! You don’t know the truth about them.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, utterly baffled by her audacity and the strange demand.
An extremely surprised woman | Source: Midjourney
Rachel hesitated, clearly sensing my unease. Her hands trembled as she took a deep breath. “Emily told me to give you this if something ever happened to her. I didn’t know where to find you, and I wasn’t ready. But you need to read it.”
I stared at the envelope, my hands trembling as I took it. My name was written on the front in Emily’s handwriting. Tears blurred my vision. “What is this?” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Rachel’s face crumpled. “It’s the truth. About the boys. About… everything.”
A sad woman | Source: Midjourney
“What truth?” My voice rose. The boys stirred at my tone, and I quickly lowered it. “What are you talking about?”
She stepped back like she’d said too much already. “Just read the letter. Please.”
With shaking fingers, I slid the envelope open. Inside was a single sheet of paper, folded neatly. My breath caught in my throat as I unfolded it, bracing myself for whatever was about to come next.
A closeup shot of a woman reading a letter | Source: Pexels
Dear Mom,
If you’re reading this, it means I’m not there to explain things myself, and for that, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave you with unanswered questions, which is why you need to read this letter till the very end.
There’s something I need you to know. Jack and Liam… they aren’t Daniel’s sons. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would hurt you, but the truth is, they’re Rachel’s.
A grayscale photo of a pregnant woman | Source: Pexels
Rachel and I had Jack and Liam through IVF. I loved her, Mom. I know it’s not what you expected from me, but she made me happy in ways I never thought possible. When Daniel left, I didn’t need him—I had her.
But things got complicated. Recently, Rachel and I weren’t on the best terms, but she deserves to be in our boys’ lives. And they deserve to know her.
Please don’t hate me for keeping this from you. I was scared of how you’d react. But I know you’ll do what’s best for them. You always do.
– Love, Emily
A closeup shot of a person writing a letter | Source: Pexels
The letter was heavy in my hands as though the weight of Emily’s truth had seeped into the paper itself. Emily’s secret life unraveled before my eyes in her neat handwriting, each word cutting deeper than the last.
Rachel sat quietly across from me, her face pale and drawn. “I loved her,” she said softly, breaking the silence. “We even fought before her accident. She didn’t think I’d step up as a parent. She was afraid I’d disappear if things got too hard.”
A woman in pain closes her eyes | Source: Midjourney
I shook my head, still struggling to process what she was saying. “Emily told me Daniel left because he didn’t want the responsibility of children. That he just… walked away.”
Rachel’s lips pressed into a thin line. “That’s true, in a way. Daniel never wanted to be a father. And Emily… all she wanted was to be a mom. It wasn’t easy for her—she struggled to make that dream come true. But Daniel couldn’t understand that. He couldn’t understand her.“
I stared at her, my chest tightening. “What do you mean? He didn’t leave because of them?”
A back view shot of a man walking away | Source: Pexels
“No,” Rachel said, her voice thick with emotion. “Emily told him everything after the boys were born. She explained that they weren’t his. That they were mine. She even told him about us—about our relationship.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “And he just… disappeared?”
Rachel nodded. “She said he was hurt but not angry. He told her he couldn’t stay and pretend to be their father, not when they weren’t his. Not when she didn’t love him.”
A worried woman covering her face with her hand | Source: Pexels
My throat felt dry. “Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Because she was afraid,” Rachel said. “She thought you’d never accept it. She thought she’d lose you. She didn’t leave me because she stopped loving me. She left because she loved you more.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. Emily had carried all of this—her love for Rachel, her fears about her family, her struggles with Daniel—without saying a word to me. And now she was gone, leaving Rachel and me to pick up the pieces.
A senior woman is in disbelief | Source: Midjourney
I wiped my eyes, my voice sharp. “And you think you can just walk in here and take them? After all this time?”
Rachel flinched but didn’t back down. “Why can’t I?” I’m their mom, and I have every right to be a part of their lives. Besides, Emily wanted me to be here. She left me that letter because she trusted me.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. My mind was a storm of emotions: grief, anger, confusion, love. That night, I couldn’t sleep.
A sad and worried woman lying in bed awake at night | Source: Midjourney
The boys’ peaceful faces reminded me of how fragile their world was, and I knew I had to tread carefully.
The next morning, I invited Rachel back. The boys were eating breakfast when she arrived, their chatter filling the kitchen. Rachel stood awkwardly in the doorway, clutching a bag of storybooks.
“Boys,” I said, kneeling to their level. “This is Rachel. She was a very close friend of your mommy’s. She’s going to spend some time with us. Is that okay?”
Smiling twin boys | Source: Midjourney
Jack frowned, his little face scrunching up. “Like a babysitter?”
Rachel knelt beside me, her voice steady. “Not quite. I was friends with your mommy when we were in college. I’d like to get to know you. Maybe we can read some of these books together?”
Liam peeked into her bag. “Do you have dinosaur books?”
Rachel smiled. “A whole stack.”
Over the next few weeks, Rachel became a regular presence in our home. At first, I watched her like a hawk, wary of her intentions. But the boys took to her quickly, especially Liam, who adored her silly voices during story time.
A children’s book lying next to stuffed bears on a rack | Source: Pexels
Slowly, I began to see her love for them; not just as someone trying to fulfill a promise to Emily, but as their mother.
One evening, as we washed dishes together, Rachel broke the silence. “Emily was scared,” she said. “She thought I wasn’t ready to be a parent. And, at the time, she wasn’t wrong. I worked all the time. I thought providing for her and the boys was enough, but she needed me to be present. I didn’t realize it until it was too late.”
A depressed woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels
I glanced at her, the vulnerability in her voice catching me off guard. “And now?”
“Now, I understand what she was trying to tell me,” Rachel said, her voice breaking. “I know I can’t make up for the time I missed, but I want to try.”
It wasn’t easy. There were moments when the tension between us boiled over, when I felt like she was intruding, or when she doubted herself. But the boys were thriving, and I couldn’t deny the joy Rachel brought into their lives. Slowly, we found a rhythm.
Happy twin boys | Source: Midjourney
One afternoon, as we sat on the porch watching Jack and Liam play, Rachel turned to me. “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you,” she said. “For keeping secrets. For not stepping up sooner.”
I nodded, my voice soft. “It’s okay, Rachel. I know Emily kept a lot of secrets. But I don’t think she meant to hurt us. She just… she was scared.”
Rachel’s eyes filled with tears. “She wasn’t ashamed of me, you know. She was afraid of how the world would treat us. Of how her family would treat us.”
A teary-eyed woman holding a tissue | Source: Pexels
I reached out, squeezing her hand. “I didn’t know. I didn’t realize how much she was carrying.”
“She loved you,” Rachel whispered. “She talked about you all the time. She wanted to make you proud.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the boys. They were laughing, their faces so full of joy it almost hurt to look at them. “She did. Every day.”
A woman with understanding and warmth in her eyes | Source: Midjourney
In time, Rachel became “Mama Rachel” to Jack and Liam. She didn’t replace Emily or me; she simply became an addition to our little family. Together, we honored Emily’s memory, raising the boys in a home filled with love and acceptance.
One evening, as we watched the sunset, Rachel turned to me and said, “Thank you for letting me be here. I know this isn’t easy for you.”
“It’s not,” I admitted. “But Emily wanted this. And… I can see how much you love them.”
Twin brothers having fun outdoors | Source: Midjourney
“I do,” she whispered. “But I also see how much they love you. You’re their rock, Mrs. Harper. I don’t want to take that away.”
“You’re not, Rachel I can see that now.”
“Emily would be so proud of you, Mrs. Harper. Of how you’ve handled all of this.”
I smiled, the tears falling freely now. “She’d be proud of both of us.”
A smiling senior woman | Source: Midjourney
As Jack and Liam ran toward us, their laughter ringing out like music, I knew we were doing exactly what Emily would have wanted—building a life filled with love, warmth, and second chances.
Liked how this story turned out? Here’s another one to keep you entertained: What do you do when love turns conditional? When the baby you carried in your womb as a surrogate is deemed ‘unwanted’? Abigail dealt with that heartbreak when her sister and her husband saw the baby she birthed for them and shrieked: ‘THIS ISN’T THE BABY WE EXPECTED. WE DON’T WANT IT.’
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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