Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds

According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.

We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.

A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.

According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.

Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.

Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.

Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.

According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.

Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.

Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”

How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.

Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.

Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.

During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.

Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.

People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.

“Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
“My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
“Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
“Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420

What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?

I Am Just a Straight, Happily Married Guy Who Loves Wearing High Heels and Skirts as My Daily Wardrobe

High heels were first made for men and they started wearing them back in the 10th century, historians say. In our era, some men have gone back to wearing high heels, and heels on men have even worked their way into pop-culture. Recently, a 61-year-old engineer from Germany, Mark Bryan, started wearing high heels with skirts to his office and as his normal everyday outfits. His looks give people a push to ditch stereotypes and to never be afraid to wear whatever they want.

Here at Bright Side, we did love the looks that Mark shows off on his page, and we’d love for you to find out more about this man and his story.

Heels and skirts are more than just fashion attributes for this man.

Mark Bryan, a robotics engineer and a father-of-3, is an ordinary man at first glance. He’s normally busy with his work and family duties. But recently, he’s created a stir on the internet and created a following of about 200,000 on Instagram by sharing his exquisite looks, which are far from the ordinary “dad stuff.”

He started to radically change his wardrobe habits 4 years ago. His daily outfits now consist of red pumps, plaid miniskirts, and suede boots, which Bryan combines with midi and mini pencil skirts. While sharing his daily looks, he speaks out about how his clothing preferences are just as normal as anything else that he does.

His outfits make him feel empowered and more confident.

He prefers skirts to dresses, because, as he says, skirts allow him to combine looks and make them masculine-looking above the waist and neutrally-gendered below the waist. To him, it’s all about clothes having no gender. He said that with ordinary “male” trousers, people don’t really have many options for outfit variety, but with skirts, there are a wide range of colors and styles, and this is what makes him feel good about himself when wearing his outfits.

His wife and kids share his views and mission.

When he first spoke to his children about his outfits, he tried to explain to them that there’s nothing sexual in his way of building up his daily wardrobe and that it’s not about their dad being gay. His daughter is now one of his most devoted fans and she dreams of being able to borrow some pairs of her dad’s shoes.

His wife has always been supportive and she’s even helped him choose his outfits. As he says, his current style is inspired by Meghan Markle’s Rachel.

Mark has quickly learned how to deal with the public response.

He has experienced a lot of harsh comments and negativity about his fashion experiments. However, a lot of men at work and in public places confess that Mark is a normal guy, who’s able to carry on a really manly conversation and who acts masculine. If people start asking him about his sexuality, he always asks them if they’d be this interested in it if he wore pants. Though these questions can make him short-tempered, in the long run, he confesses that people around don’t really care that much about other people’s outfits.