According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Mom Proudly Breastfeeds in Public and Claps Back at Critics
Mothers can nourish their newborns naturally and beautifully by breastfeeding. In addition to giving vital nutrients, it fosters a solid emotional tie between a mother and her kid. Unfortunately, breastfeeding in public has become a contentious issue, upsetting or even unsettling some people.
One mother, Trinati, made the decision to speak out and posted an impactful photo of herself nursing her child inside a Costco. After becoming viral, the public reacted to this photo with love and condemnation.
Instagram user Trinati, who has over 7,000 followers, shared the image in 2017 to highlight the extent moms will go to in order to make sure their kids are taken care of, no matter what. She clarified that she wants to normalize nursing in public and that she never hesitates to do so. She’ll have to put up with odd looks and awkward laughs, but she’s determined to support her child wherever they go.
Even Trinati’s family members have been known to tease her about her protracted breastfeeding journey, despite the criticism she faces from outsiders. She is determined to breastfeed her infant for as long as she needs, though, and she is unconcerned. Trinati rejects the notion that nursing in public is improper or sexual and tries to eradicate the stigma associated with it. She humorously notes that her breasts are more like udders than anything else, so they’re definitely not objects of desire.
Trinati is certain that her child’s needs come before any attempts to make her feel ashamed. She becomes a part of the community of moms who, by sharing their own heroic breastfeeding stories, challenge social standards and offer encouragement to one another.
There are several advantages to breastfeeding for both mother and child. The CDC states that it can lower the risk of type 2 diabetes, ovarian and breast cancer, among other diseases. Numerous celebrities have also shown support for nursing mothers, including as Chrissy Teigen, Olivia Munn, Ronda Rousey, and Vanessa Morgan.
For mothers everywhere, the debate about breastfeeding in public is draining. Without condemnation or criticism, they need to be able to feed their kids in the way that suits them the best. It’s time to honor and promote the lovely act of nursing, as well as to stand with mothers like Trinati who take great pride in providing their kids with comfort and nourishment.
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