Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Vinyl Treasures: A Nostalgic Reminder of Home Elegance!
It is replaced by a thin, metal object in the warm, inviting atmosphere of a 1970s living room with bright shag carpeting mixed with earth tones. Tucked away from the vinyl record sleeve, this simple curtain hook holds memories of carefree afternoons spent watching curtains billow in the soft wind from an open window. Despite its seeming simplicity, this object was essential to the fabric of family life.
Think back to a period when windows were dressed with their finest clothes, such as proudly hanging pleated drapes that framed the alluring appeal of city life or contented suburbia views. The curtain hook was a silent backstage worker that was frequently disregarded. Families laughed, wept, and fell in love in these spaces as a ballet of light and shadow was created by the fabric’s graceful folds and sleek design.
But as these commonplace objects are tucked away within the pages of a time that honored both the remarkable and the commonplace, it’s easy for them to disappear into the realm of recollections. The curtain hook, which was formerly ubiquitous, has been superseded by more contemporary devices. However, it is a subtle reminder of the fastidious attention to detail that was previously lavished upon our homes—a period in which the tiniest elements spoke a great deal about the homeowner’s taste and attention to detail.
Holding one of these curtain hooks in the present takes us back in time to a time when vinyl records provided the soundtrack for a fun-filled evening. For those who remember, it brings back fond memories, and for those who have never heard of its significance, it piques curiosity.
This tiny metal fragment is more than just an item; it is a thread woven into the fabric of a past way of life, softly capturing the spirit of a period when things were simpler and more important than they seemed.
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